Start Your Divorce Today - Premium Divorce Online


Divorce Source Community Forums >> Parenting Issues

Jump to first unread post. Pages: 1
mayotteiru
recently joined


Reged: 12/06/11
Posts: 20
implications of judge's ruling on psychoexwifeblog
      #770145 - 12/06/11 02:19 PM

i have read a ton of the news stories surrounding the psycho ex-wife blog, and all of the legal fallout and speculation surrounding the judge's takedown order in the case. i don't care to get into a discussion about free speech vs negatively impacting the children, etc...

i am interested in knowing if there are any other similar cases (precedent?) where a judge has ruled that publicly badmouthing your ex is considered by the court to be abusive of the children.

in the state where our decree was issued, the ability of the primary custodial parent to support the children's relationship with the other parent is a primary factor for the court in determining custody to begin with.

so my ex has a blog that discusses in detail many, many bad things about me and about my contributions to the downfall of our relationship. of course I am not perfect, but he/she was/is also no saint, yet the blog portrays him/her as the ultimate victim at my hands, and discusses my ex's belief (and my ex's family's belief) that I am a sociopath AND a psychopath. he/she is certainly entitled to his/her opinion, and can choose to portray me and events in our marriage how he/she wants, and to whom he/she wants, the problem for me is that we agreed in our divorce stipulation, and there was an order given in our divorce decree that we would not disparage or badmouth the other parent in front of our children.

the linkage that I'm drawing is that if he/she can't control themself enough to not spew this nasty mean-spirited info online publicly for the world to see, how can that person be expected to control themself in terms of how he/she speaks directly to the kids (or in their direct presence) about me?

i have numerous reports from my kids about comments that are being made in their presence, but obviously these things are impossible to prove, or may be skewed by the child saying what they think I want to hear, etc...

our children (boys ages 3, 5, and 7) are starting to use the internet, especially the 7 year old, and it would be extremely easy for them to stumble upon the ex's blog about me or his/her facebook page postings about me.

i know it will vary state to state, but is there any likelihood that the court would consider the ex's blog and facebook posts as child abuse (like in the psycho exwife blog case), or in the least a contemptable offense?

any input or advice appreciated.


Post Extras: Print Post   Remind Me!   Notify Moderator  
Renny
addict
**

Reged: 09/24/11
Posts: 479
Re: implications of judge's ruling on psychoexwifeblog [Re: mayotteiru]
      #770225 - 12/06/11 09:56 PM

Not child abuse, but contempt. Disparaging and undermining the other parent is at least implicitly forbidden in the parenting plan. Everything published these days, in emails, social networks, texts are discoverable. Together they can make a convincing case for contempt and whatever remedies the judge deems appropriate.

Post Extras: Print Post   Remind Me!   Notify Moderator  
mayotteiru
recently joined


Reged: 12/06/11
Posts: 20
Re: implications of judge's ruling on psychoexwifeblog [Re: Renny]
      #770275 - 12/07/11 10:21 AM

I'm really glad you mentioned the parenting plan. I went back and re-read it and it was enlightening:

***

4. Parenting Plan. The parties shall work together cooperatively with regard to the children's physical care and financial and emotional support. Consequently, the parties agree to the following parenting standards and restraints.

a. The parties shall communicate exclusively via text or email regarding child related or custody issues.

b. When the parties have differing points of view, they shall be tolerant, understanding that the children require peace rather than parental conflict.

c. The parties shall not relay messages to each other through their minor children. Further, tentative plans involving both parties or needing the other parties consent will not be discussed with their minor children until after the other party has agreed on the plan.

d. The parties shall refrain from making derogatory or disparaging comments about the other parent, or allow any other person to do likewise, when within the hearing of their minor children.

e. The parties shall not argue with each other within the hearing or conscious presence of the minor children or allow any other person to do so.

f. The parties shall not interrogate or otherwise "pump" the minor children for information regarding what occurs when the children are with the other parent, or
allow any other person to do so.

g. The parties shall in no way conduct themselves in a manner that would tend to diminish the love of their minor children for the other parent, or allow any other person to
do so.

h. Each parent shall have their minor children ready for parent-time at the time they are to be exchanged.

***

It's interesting to me that you talk about these issues I have raised possibly being considered contempt of court. I can see how my Ex's actions and the actions of the Ex's family in so publicly defaming me and badmouthing me could be considered to go against item "G" on the list above. Hrm...

****

5. Dispute Resolution. If the parties are unable to resolve any divorce issues they shall return to mediation prior to filing any documents with court.

****

Question: Based on this part of our decree, does that mean I have to state to my ex that I have concerns about actions that the ex and ex-inlaws are undertaking to diminish the children's love for me, and ask the ex to go to mediation about it, before I can file a motion to show cause with the court in order to have the ex held in contempt?


Post Extras: Print Post   Remind Me!   Notify Moderator  
Renny
addict
**

Reged: 09/24/11
Posts: 479
Re: implications of judge's ruling on psychoexwifeblog [Re: mayotteiru]
      #770280 - 12/07/11 10:57 AM

Yes, it appears you have to go through mediation first. In my county several judges would refer this type of case to mediation first. You may find that a mediation session is all you need to stop a lot of the bad mouthing, or at least make it less overt.

Post Extras: Print Post   Remind Me!   Notify Moderator  
mayotteiru
recently joined


Reged: 12/06/11
Posts: 20
Re: implications of judge's ruling on psychoexwifeblog [Re: Renny]
      #770335 - 12/07/11 04:27 PM

Renny, what happens if my ex refuses to mediate? If I ask for dates and times to mediate and I am ignored as I anticipate I will be, will this be enough for the judge that I can then take the issue before the court?

Post Extras: Print Post   Remind Me!   Notify Moderator  
Renny
addict
**

Reged: 09/24/11
Posts: 479
Re: implications of judge's ruling on psychoexwifeblog [Re: mayotteiru]
      #770347 - 12/07/11 05:54 PM

Yes, if she refuses to mediate you can file a contempt motion and the judge will probably just order mediation to get the calendar moving. The The mediation of course doesn't guarantee results. Any agreement is voluntary. But I don't see her not agreeing to abide by the CO. What I would do in mediation is specify that the blog and other things that undermine your reputation should stop, and submit that as a consent order for the judge to sign. It becomes a rider on the original CO.

Post Extras: Print Post   Remind Me!   Notify Moderator  
mayotteiru
recently joined


Reged: 12/06/11
Posts: 20
Re: implications of judge's ruling on psychoexwifeblog [Re: Renny]
      #770476 - 12/08/11 02:10 PM

sorry i am so full of questions, i have asked my ex to go to mediation over this and other issues, and the response I have received is that if I want to go to mediation we can do that, but only if i am willing to pay for the ex's half of the mediation, and the ex's lawyer's time, and for the work the ex would be missing.

would a court/judge construe this as a refusal to mediate such that the order in the decree to mediate before coming to court would be satisfied on my end?


Post Extras: Print Post   Remind Me!   Notify Moderator  
Renny
addict
**

Reged: 09/24/11
Posts: 479
Re: implications of judge's ruling on psychoexwifeblog [Re: mayotteiru]
      #770487 - 12/08/11 06:58 PM

The order stress that the parties must mediate first, without conditions. Implicit is that the parties should spare the court the time and expense of a suit, and also spare each other such time and expense. If you have to pay for her attorney and the mediation, it's a big disincentive for you, and no incentive to resolve or her. In short, you can file for contempt based on the fact that she is not abiding by the order, which is to mediate, with each party bearing half the cost of mediation and their own attorney fees unless stated otherwise.

Post Extras: Print Post   Remind Me!   Notify Moderator  
Maury
Carpal \'Tunnel
**

Reged: 06/02/04
Posts: 8182
Loc: This Asylum --->
Re: implications of judge's ruling on psychoexwifeblog [Re: mayotteiru]
      #771080 - 12/13/11 10:38 AM

Mediation is required before proceeding to court by most court orders these days. The exception to the rule would be issues of child endangerment.

bad mouthing a parent is unlikely to be seen as an endangerment issue. though inappropriate, the likely result of a motion is an admonition by the Judge in an order that precludes each party from vilifying the other or allowing others to do so in the presence of the minor child.

A blog, however, that is not shared with the child is a freedom of speech issue. It is something a Judge is unlikely to curtail although the Judge may lecture the parties on such practices.


Post Extras: Print Post   Remind Me!   Notify Moderator  
Pages: 1



Extra information
0 registered and 2 anonymous users are browsing this forum.

Moderator:   

Print Topic

Forum Permissions
      You cannot start new topics
      You cannot reply to topics
      HTML is disabled
      UBBCode is enabled

Rating:
Topic views: 3377

Rate this topic

Jump to

Contact Us Divorce Source Home

*
UBB.threads™ 6.5.1.1


Resources & Tools
Start Your Divorce Online Start Your Divorce
Several Options to Get Started Today.
Divorce Tools Online Divorce Tools
Keeping it Simple to Get the Job Done.
Divorce Downloads Download Center
Instantly Download Books, Guides & Forms.
Divorce and Custody Books Discount Books
Over 100 of the Best Divorce & Custody Books.
Negotiate Online Negotiate Online
Settle your Divorce and Save.
Custody and Support Tracking Custody Scheduling
Make Sure You Document Everything.

Easily Connect With a Lawyer or Mediator
Have Divorce Professionals from Your Area Contact You!
Enter Your Zip Code: