Sadie
addict
Reged: 06/03/05
Posts: 567
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lunch today with sd's fiance's parents. They CONGRATULATED hubby on his stand on the wedding, and are also taking the same stand. They were planning on paying for his education in full, and if they marry, they are not giving him a penny for school, or living expenses. They also are not planning on attending/financing the wedding. As of now, it seems that it will be just bm nad her family at the wedding. The Grooms family and dh and I will not be there ( we were joking about going on a vacation together during that time).
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ssmom79
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/27/07
Posts: 7806
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We have the big wedding budget at age 25 and it reduces every year. That may have originally came from a post here. I saw the idea, LOVED the idea and hubby also LOVED the idea. Anything before age 20, no money from Daddy!!! SD knows the rules and can either a) wait or b) fund it herself.
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Cassie23
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 10/07/05
Posts: 14714
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I can't imagine that most families could afford both a wedding and the child's education (if they were willing and able to give to each) at the same time?
Again I have no issue with ANY parent choosing to not finance a child's wedding or education, as the child is an adult. I just have an issue with the parents deciding not to attend their child's wedding. I don't think it is something any child could overcome easily.
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youngatheart
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 09/03/05
Posts: 9400
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Me neither. I'd tell my "dad" to [censored] off. Which, I think, is what this "dad" and his wifey really want.
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Sadie
addict
Reged: 06/03/05
Posts: 567
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YAH,
Funny thing is, the Grooms parents agree with us, and will not be attending/financing either, and they have been married over 30 years
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annieo
veteran
Reged: 07/07/10
Posts: 1413
Loc: Pacific Northwest
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well as long as you feel validated that is all that matters - who gives a rip about the actual relationship that may be permanently damaged....
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youngatheart
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 09/03/05
Posts: 9400
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I've never said that divorced parents are the only ones who can be asses to their kids. Only that this situation makes it easy.
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Goodmom
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 06/17/07
Posts: 2019
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[quote]YAH,
Funny thing is, the Grooms parents agree with us, and will not be attending/financing either, and they have been married over 30 years [/quote]
And they are just as wrong as your SD's father is.
And when the marriage ends, the chances are very good that the relationship with the parents (both the bride's father and the groom's parents) will still be toast.
One can attend a wedding without paying for it and without agreeing about the choice to get married. Which is the best solution that won't end the relationship with the child.
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ssmom79
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/27/07
Posts: 7806
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I would never not attend a child's wedding by choice.
When you are looking for someone to agree, and you happen across them as your future in-laws, I guess it's a win win.
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Char9
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/03/05
Posts: 2942
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If the "child" knows that both parents disapprove, and know that they will not be financed for said "wedding", why should the parents or even inlaws attend? They are taking a stand, and they are adults and can do what they want to can't they? How old is this "child"? Likely too young to make such a life altering decision. If they can't talk her out of it, then why attend something they don't approve of? That would only reinforce in the "child's" mind that they are going along with it and she will then "expect" to be given a gift or money to help finance the wedding? Again, if this child knows that she has to choose between her education or a wedding, and both sets of parents have voiced their disapproval of this union. Wouldn't it do more damage to attend when the child knows that what she is doing is not approved of by any of the parents? I'm just wondering......
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