Start Your Divorce Today - Premium Divorce Online


Divorce Source Community Forums >> Stepfamily Issues

Jump to first unread post. Pages: 1 | 2 | 3 | >> (show all)
cpnebraska
addict
**

Reged: 09/08/08
Posts: 541
NCP move out of state
      #771683 - 12/20/11 10:48 AM

Ok, so, a friend called me with this question.

NCP moved out of state for a better job. one child DS5 (I think he is 5)

CP lives here with parents and is a student with no job.

NCP asked when DS could come for the 2 week summer visit.Trying to plan ahead for travel cost.

CP stated that since NCP moved out of state their custody agreement was null and void.

IS this true? AS far as I am aware nothing in the agreement states anything about moving out of state.

--------------------
Having one kid makes you a parent, two makes you a referee!


Post Extras: Print Post   Remind Me!   Notify Moderator  
Sherron
Carpal \'Tunnel
**

Reged: 11/25/06
Posts: 20637
Re: NCP move out of state [Re: cpnebraska]
      #771684 - 12/20/11 11:05 AM

"CP stated that since NCP moved out of state their custody agreement was null and void."

What does the cp base this on? I guess it's possible that there is wording in the co to that effect, but lacking that... no, the co stands, and if it allowed for 2 weeks of parenting time during the summer before the move, ncp still gets them after the move.

I'd let the friend know, hey, I don't think that sounds right, but why don't you call up a lawyer and ask to be sure. And then I'd ask why is that even a question... ordered or not, is there a reason that the ncp should not have 2 weeks with the child in the summer.


Post Extras: Print Post   Remind Me!   Notify Moderator  
Spring
Carpal \'Tunnel
**

Reged: 06/02/04
Posts: 7972
Re: NCP move out of state [Re: cpnebraska]
      #771685 - 12/20/11 11:05 AM

I doubt its null and void, but sounds like it needs to be modified. Regardless of the issues between parents, the child needs to have access to both. Tell your friend to work it out.

--------------------
Never consider the possibility of failure; as long as you persist, you will be successful.


Post Extras: Print Post   Remind Me!   Notify Moderator  
cpnebraska
addict
**

Reged: 09/08/08
Posts: 541
Re: NCP move out of state [Re: Spring]
      #771686 - 12/20/11 11:16 AM

They have always co-parented well. CP did not object to NCP's move.

I told NCP I doubted it wasn't valid but NCP is checking.

It does need to be modified now that CP is not coparenting.

There is no "reason" NCP should not see the child. CP has never had an issue with visitation before.

--------------------
Having one kid makes you a parent, two makes you a referee!


Post Extras: Print Post   Remind Me!   Notify Moderator  
Avaya
Carpal \'Tunnel
**

Reged: 02/09/06
Posts: 9850
Loc: Arkansas
Re: NCP move out of state [Re: cpnebraska]
      #771688 - 12/20/11 11:24 AM

I bet CP thinks the visitation part is null and void, but not the CS part, huh? LOL

--------------------
Eternity is too long to be wrong.


Post Extras: Print Post   Remind Me!   Notify Moderator  
Spring
Carpal \'Tunnel
**

Reged: 06/02/04
Posts: 7972
Re: NCP move out of state [Re: Avaya]
      #771689 - 12/20/11 11:39 AM

~~NCP asked when DS could come for the 2 week summer visit.Trying to plan ahead for travel cost.

CP stated that since NCP moved out of state their custody agreement was null and void.~~

The NCP can still enforce whatever it says in the original agreement. Unless something in the agreement states that its voided if a certain event occurs...and that said even does occur. Of course I am no lawyer.

I wonder why the questiion than if there are no issues? Why would CP even state that they think its voided?

Why do we even need a court paper to do right by our kids?

--------------------
Never consider the possibility of failure; as long as you persist, you will be successful.


Post Extras: Print Post   Remind Me!   Notify Moderator  
Redlegg
Carpal \'Tunnel
**

Reged: 10/05/06
Posts: 27574
Re: NCP move out of state [Re: Spring]
      #771691 - 12/20/11 11:48 AM

I think the custody agreement is null and void, and the NCP should go get their child, and say thanks to the new NCP as they are leaving...

Post Extras: Print Post   Remind Me!   Notify Moderator  
cpnebraska
addict
**

Reged: 09/08/08
Posts: 541
Re: NCP move out of state [Re: Redlegg]
      #771692 - 12/20/11 11:50 AM

Lol. I will tell them that. See how Cp changes their tune. Of course they will probably just say..the visitation part not the custody.

--------------------
Having one kid makes you a parent, two makes you a referee!


Post Extras: Print Post   Remind Me!   Notify Moderator  
LexieBelle
Carpal \'Tunnel
*

Reged: 11/07/10
Posts: 3688
Re: NCP move out of state [Re: Avaya]
      #771694 - 12/20/11 11:59 AM

If no MODIFIED arrangement due to the move has been documented then the ORIGINAL arrangement (whatever is in the court order) is what is in place.

So if he gets 2 summer weeks? He gets them. Now, because HE moved, he'd be responsible for making that happen presumably.

I would question how much of the existing visitation portion of the agreement is being maintained now? So in other words if he had EOWE and one weeknight overnight is he still doing that? What's the deal? Is he doing some other schedule? Is it documented?

I could see him running into issues if he has NOT been exercising his time, post HIS move, and now expects he's going to take summer vacation b/c he wants to have THAT part. She might risk going to court and saying "hey he doesn't see them/hasn't seen them, NOW he wants these 2 weeks? think not" and seeing what happens.


Post Extras: Print Post   Remind Me!   Notify Moderator  
ssmom79
Carpal \'Tunnel
**

Reged: 06/27/07
Posts: 7988
Re: NCP move out of state [Re: cpnebraska]
      #771698 - 12/20/11 12:13 PM

If nothing exists that states custody is null and void if a party moves, then the original CO is still in effect.

What changed with these two?


Post Extras: Print Post   Remind Me!   Notify Moderator  
LeAnne
Carpal \'Tunnel
**

Reged: 08/18/05
Posts: 10232
Loc: missouri
Re: NCP move out of state [Re: ssmom79]
      #771708 - 12/20/11 12:28 PM

My guess would be that she is pissed, because now she doesn't have EOW free anymore? One of those Oh crap moments...yes I said he could move...but i wasn't thinking about all the times he takes the kid moments....Now could be wrong, she lives with parents...but just how much do her parents want to babysit?
So that free weekend of hey let's go have a drink, chase other men, or shack up with the boyfriend on her free weekend is now gone.

She has lost instant babysitter... so now I will screw with him moments.

--------------------
Empty Nesting


Post Extras: Print Post   Remind Me!   Notify Moderator  
cpnebraska
addict
**

Reged: 09/08/08
Posts: 541
Re: NCP move out of state [Re: cpnebraska]
      #771718 - 12/20/11 01:04 PM

I purposely did not state the sex of each party.
NCP is the mom
Cp is the dad.

She has seen DS every time she has come back to visit, which has been quite a few.

Of course she can't do the weekly visits. She was offered this job, which you can not match here, and took it after discussing it with him.

When in town she takes DS 99% of the time she is here.

I can only state what I know and or see.

--------------------
Having one kid makes you a parent, two makes you a referee!


Post Extras: Print Post   Remind Me!   Notify Moderator  
Gecko
Carpal \'Tunnel
**

Reged: 06/01/04
Posts: 20380
Loc: Third rock from the sun
Re: NCP move out of state [Re: cpnebraska]
      #771719 - 12/20/11 01:04 PM

CP stated that since NCP moved out of state their custody agreement was null and void.

IS this true?

---> No...a Court Order is a Court Order until it has been changed by the Court. If the current CO allows for extended Summer Parenting Time, then the CP has to honor that or be held in Contempt. If it doesn't...then the NCP needs to request a modification.

--------------------
If you air your dirty linen in public, expect people to comment on the skid marks!


Post Extras: Print Post   Remind Me!   Notify Moderator  
cpnebraska
addict
**

Reged: 09/08/08
Posts: 541
Re: NCP move out of state [Re: Gecko]
      #771720 - 12/20/11 01:05 PM

It does.
And I forgot to mention the YES NCP would pay for the visits.

--------------------
Having one kid makes you a parent, two makes you a referee!


Post Extras: Print Post   Remind Me!   Notify Moderator  
LexieBelle
Carpal \'Tunnel
*

Reged: 11/07/10
Posts: 3688
Re: NCP move out of state [Re: cpnebraska]
      #771723 - 12/20/11 01:09 PM

But, she's not following the CO?

She's established a new status quo.. which is??? How often are the visits? Etc etc.

I'd still say she'd get the time; however, she'd have to pay for it/arrange for it all. However, it gets tricky when NCP only wants to follow the parts that are CONVENIENT for them.

Speaking from experience, my ex had ZERO chance in hell of getting what he wanted when I did my move. Why? Because he didn't follow the EXISTING order.

And when you DON'T follow it? The CP has a TREMENDOUS chance of going back to court and saying "hey, he/she doesn't take x, y and z" and having the court go "yup, you're right, they don't.. buh bye".

Just sayin'.. in her shoes? I'd start taking every possible minute, in accordance with the CO, from now until summer vacation. Or beat him to the "going to court" punch and get it modified so it's clearly spelled out.


Post Extras: Print Post   Remind Me!   Notify Moderator  
cpnebraska
addict
**

Reged: 09/08/08
Posts: 541
Re: NCP move out of state [Re: LexieBelle]
      #771727 - 12/20/11 01:17 PM

There is no way to fly a kid from the midwest to the east coast twice a week...not for anyone.

NCP discussed the move with CP and it was OK.
I know that doesn't always mean squat in courts. They did the right thing though. Prior to her move? Every second was of visitation was taken.

NCP was planning a visit to see Cp (see how good of friends they are??) NCP stated they wanted DS to come and they would pay. CP stated it was his vacation. BAER CP is not concerned with NCP seeing DS more.

--------------------
Having one kid makes you a parent, two makes you a referee!


Post Extras: Print Post   Remind Me!   Notify Moderator  
Gecko
Carpal \'Tunnel
**

Reged: 06/01/04
Posts: 20380
Loc: Third rock from the sun
Re: NCP move out of state [Re: cpnebraska]
      #771729 - 12/20/11 01:18 PM

And I forgot to mention the YES NCP would pay for the visits.

---> It's PARENTING TIME, NOT 'visitation'.

---> Since the NCP moved, then yes...they should be held financially responsible for transportation costs in excess of the original mileage. When the NCP has the Court Order modified, it should also include language to the effect that the CP is responsible to make sure the child gets to the airport/train station/bus station in a timely matter and that if they fail to do so, then they are financially liable for all costs associated in getting the child to the other parent.

---> If your friend is the CP, let them know that it will be cheaper for them to reach an agreement with the other parent regarding long distance parenting time, than to be a jerk and fight it.

---> A typical long distance parenting schedule includes Spring Break, 6 weeks Summer Break and alternating half of the Winter Break. Depending on the exact distances, extended school breaks (aka 3-day holidays) can be added it.

--------------------
If you air your dirty linen in public, expect people to comment on the skid marks!


Post Extras: Print Post   Remind Me!   Notify Moderator  
LexieBelle
Carpal \'Tunnel
*

Reged: 11/07/10
Posts: 3688
Re: NCP move out of state [Re: cpnebraska]
      #771730 - 12/20/11 01:20 PM

what did they document for post-move visitation?

Post Extras: Print Post   Remind Me!   Notify Moderator  
elliesmom
Carpal \'Tunnel
**

Reged: 11/07/05
Posts: 8839
Re: NCP move out of state [Re: LexieBelle]
      #771731 - 12/20/11 01:20 PM

If the CP was this big of an a-hole I would document their "opinion" I shouldn't get to see my kid and then file to modify the agreement to get no less than half the summer and any other extended parenting time I could get etched in there. If the CP is willing to be this big of jerkwad over 2 weeks now its gonna be a long 13 years without a strongly worded custody agreement.

--------------------
Forgiveness is...letting go of the hope that the past can be changed.


Post Extras: Print Post   Remind Me!   Notify Moderator  
LexieBelle
Carpal \'Tunnel
*

Reged: 11/07/10
Posts: 3688
Re: NCP move out of state [Re: Gecko]
      #771733 - 12/20/11 01:23 PM

When you are THAT far long distance? You're VISITING.

Post Extras: Print Post   Remind Me!   Notify Moderator  
Spring
Carpal \'Tunnel
**

Reged: 06/02/04
Posts: 7972
Re: NCP move out of state [Re: LexieBelle]
      #771736 - 12/20/11 01:34 PM

"When you are THAT far long distance? You're VISITING."

Completely disagree.

--------------------
Never consider the possibility of failure; as long as you persist, you will be successful.


Post Extras: Print Post   Remind Me!   Notify Moderator  
Gecko
Carpal \'Tunnel
**

Reged: 06/01/04
Posts: 20380
Loc: Third rock from the sun
Re: NCP move out of state [Re: Spring]
      #771738 - 12/20/11 01:39 PM

Thanks for that as there are many parents, who because of the job or service to their country, are not able to physically parent on a continuing basis...it does NOT mean that they are only 'visitors' in their children's lives. Some people are just ignorant.

--------------------
If you air your dirty linen in public, expect people to comment on the skid marks!


Post Extras: Print Post   Remind Me!   Notify Moderator  
Spring
Carpal \'Tunnel
**

Reged: 06/02/04
Posts: 7972
Re: NCP move out of state [Re: Gecko]
      #771749 - 12/20/11 02:28 PM

You're welcome :o)

--------------------
Never consider the possibility of failure; as long as you persist, you will be successful.


Post Extras: Print Post   Remind Me!   Notify Moderator  
LexieBelle
Carpal \'Tunnel
*

Reged: 11/07/10
Posts: 3688
Re: NCP move out of state [Re: Gecko]
      #771751 - 12/20/11 02:45 PM

Not ignorant, realistic. And YOU of all people know that.

Post Extras: Print Post   Remind Me!   Notify Moderator  
BeckaLeigh
Carpal \'Tunnel
**

Reged: 06/08/05
Posts: 6876
Loc: Texas
Re: NCP move out of state [Re: cpnebraska]
      #771891 - 12/21/11 05:58 PM

In the COs where X had visitation, it had a part for parents that live less than 100 miles apart and parents that live more than 100 miles apart. His summer time increased, while he only get one weekend a month. It may have something like this but CP is only looking at the part that says less than 100 miles apart or some such thing. Have him/her look at thier papers, maybe this is the case.

--------------------
I tried being normal once. Worst five minutes of my life.


Post Extras: Print Post   Remind Me!   Notify Moderator  
Pages: 1 | 2 | 3 | >> (show all)



Extra information
0 registered and 17 anonymous users are browsing this forum.

Moderator:  dsAdmin 

Print Topic

Forum Permissions
      You cannot start new topics
      You cannot reply to topics
      HTML is disabled
      UBBCode is disabled

Rating:
Topic views: 2342

Rate this topic

Jump to

Contact Us Divorce Source Home

*
UBB.threads™ 6.5.1.1


Resources & Tools
Start Your Divorce Online Start Your Divorce
Several Options to Get Started Today.
Divorce Tools Online Divorce Tools
Keeping it Simple to Get the Job Done.
Divorce Downloads Download Center
Instantly Download Books, Guides & Forms.
Divorce and Custody Books Discount Books
Over 100 of the Best Divorce & Custody Books.
Negotiate Online Negotiate Online
Settle your Divorce and Save.
Custody and Support Tracking Custody Scheduling
Make Sure You Document Everything.

Easily Connect With a Lawyer or Mediator
Have Divorce Professionals from Your Area Contact You!
Enter Your Zip Code: