Sadie
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lunch today with sd's fiance's parents. They CONGRATULATED hubby on his stand on the wedding, and are also taking the same stand. They were planning on paying for his education in full, and if they marry, they are not giving him a penny for school, or living expenses. They also are not planning on attending/financing the wedding. As of now, it seems that it will be just bm nad her family at the wedding. The Grooms family and dh and I will not be there ( we were joking about going on a vacation together during that time).
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ssmom79
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We have the big wedding budget at age 25 and it reduces every year. That may have originally came from a post here. I saw the idea, LOVED the idea and hubby also LOVED the idea. Anything before age 20, no money from Daddy!!! SD knows the rules and can either a) wait or b) fund it herself.
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Cassie23
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I can't imagine that most families could afford both a wedding and the child's education (if they were willing and able to give to each) at the same time?
Again I have no issue with ANY parent choosing to not finance a child's wedding or education, as the child is an adult. I just have an issue with the parents deciding not to attend their child's wedding. I don't think it is something any child could overcome easily.
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youngatheart
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Me neither. I'd tell my "dad" to [censored] off. Which, I think, is what this "dad" and his wifey really want.
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Sadie
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YAH,
Funny thing is, the Grooms parents agree with us, and will not be attending/financing either, and they have been married over 30 years
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annieo
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Loc: Pacific Northwest
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well as long as you feel validated that is all that matters - who gives a rip about the actual relationship that may be permanently damaged....
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youngatheart
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I've never said that divorced parents are the only ones who can be asses to their kids. Only that this situation makes it easy.
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Goodmom
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Reged: 06/17/07
Posts: 2019
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[quote]YAH,
Funny thing is, the Grooms parents agree with us, and will not be attending/financing either, and they have been married over 30 years [/quote]
And they are just as wrong as your SD's father is.
And when the marriage ends, the chances are very good that the relationship with the parents (both the bride's father and the groom's parents) will still be toast.
One can attend a wedding without paying for it and without agreeing about the choice to get married. Which is the best solution that won't end the relationship with the child.
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ssmom79
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I would never not attend a child's wedding by choice.
When you are looking for someone to agree, and you happen across them as your future in-laws, I guess it's a win win.
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Char9
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If the "child" knows that both parents disapprove, and know that they will not be financed for said "wedding", why should the parents or even inlaws attend? They are taking a stand, and they are adults and can do what they want to can't they? How old is this "child"? Likely too young to make such a life altering decision. If they can't talk her out of it, then why attend something they don't approve of? That would only reinforce in the "child's" mind that they are going along with it and she will then "expect" to be given a gift or money to help finance the wedding? Again, if this child knows that she has to choose between her education or a wedding, and both sets of parents have voiced their disapproval of this union. Wouldn't it do more damage to attend when the child knows that what she is doing is not approved of by any of the parents? I'm just wondering......
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LexieBelle
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As a "child" whose parents didn't attend a wedding (I have no idea if they "approved" or didn't approve, as far as I know they did? No clue), I can tell you it's a REALLY CRAPPY FEELING! On the list of "shitty things my parents have done to me"? I'd say not going to my wedding with dd's father ranks in the top 2 (not visiting me in the hospital when I was pregnant with dd and waiting to bleed out is #1 on the list).
In my case, the DOG outranked me in terms of preference. Puppy actually. They didn't wanna leave him alone for a night. BAER.
Will never forget it, and frankly won't "forgive" it either. It's unforgiveable. Approve or don't approve, whatever, it's your CHILD and it's an event in their lives that's important to THEM. And it's possible to ATTEND and not APPROVE.
Another example, my uncle (my mother's brother), also raised by the self-absorbed, dysfunctional na-zi parents MY mother was raised by. As WASP as you get. And as PREJUDICED as you get. My younger cousin married a catholic girl (HORRORS!!!!!!!!!). My uncle DID NOT APPROVE and spent months INSISTING he'd NEVER step foot in a (gasp!!) Catholic.Church for his son's wedding.
Guess who went to the wedding? In the church? My uncle. He did the right thing. It's funny to listen to MY mother go on and on about what a dousche he would've been NOT to go and how happy she is he DID go. But sees NOTHING wrong with not going to mine (before anyone "goes there", they didn't go to my first wedding, we weren't speaking.. my 2nd, I asked for nothing, my ex and I paid for everything, including a weekend away for the people who came. Same with wedding to dd's father. I asked for nothing.. In my life my parents have never paid a dollar of education, a home, or a wedding, ZERO. Come to think of it? I'm not sure they even sent a gift? I don't think so.. whatever).
It's a SHYTTY thing to do to your kid. Way shytty. His daughter WILL remember it and she WILL resent him for it.. forever.. is my guess. If she thinks YOU, Sadie, are the driving force behind it? She'll hate you too.
Oh and she's probably marrying this guy? Or they're attracted? Because they have equally shytty parenting experiences, so they're drawn to each other. Oh boy :(
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ssmom79
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Of course they can do whatever they want. They can attend, not attend, boycott with picket signs, attend in funeral attire...whatever floats their boat.
I don't think attending reinforces anything except the meaning behind the words I love you and even though I don't agree with your choice I will support you on this day. I don't care if I agree or not...I'm not skipping that day for my kids. I gave it a lot of thought after Sadie initially brought this up and I decided it's not important enough to me to not attend. It's not a hill I'd die on. If this is important to a parent not to attend, then I would recommend following their heart.
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Char9
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Well then, they should go despite not approving of it. I just wanted to show that they may be thinking something along the lines of what I posted. I could be way off, and don't know the whole "story". In my case? I specifically did NOT invite my father. My reason? Because he was heavily involved in Eastern Star; wouldn't have had time like as not as he was "grand worthy patron" that year. My mother was there, she and my best friend "gave me away". I did however, invite dad and ssmom to the dinner held in my hometown. To which, my best friend overheard him tell my ssmom some snarky remark about if I hadn't invited him I would have "paid" or something stupid. My dad was an azzhole from the word go. I didn't have a relationship with him growing up b/c of what he did to mum and myself. Now that he's dead, I sometimes wish he had been there to watch me walk down the aisle. However, it's water under the bridge and I can live with my choice.
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Char9
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As some of the posters have pointed out, and after reading their responses I have to agree. Go, you will regret it if you don't, as will the inlaws and your H. Don't let your disapproval get in the way of loving this child. He does love his daughter doesn't he? Or is he hell bent on making a point and make her pay for what he thinks is a stupid mistake on her part? Make him go, you don't have to since it's not your D, it's your choice. But if you want to have any type of relationship with her in the future, you'd better get your azz to the church. Like it or not, she'll learn later that she messed up, but for now you and her FATHER need to step up and swallow your stupid egos and GO! JMHO.
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javajunkiee
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General reply: If the couple are adult enough to make the choice to marry despite their parents disapproval, they should be adult enough to deal with their parents not attending. They may not like it, but there are consequences, and right or wrong their parents are entitled to their opinions.
On the same subject though, if the parents are prepared to show their kids that they won't compromise their beliefs and even attend the wedding, I hope they can appreciate the irony when their kids won't compromise on something similarly important to the parents down the road.
You get what you give. Hope mom & dad can take it.
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Marriage doesn't come with a money-back guarantee.
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elliesmom
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I understand not approving, I understand not paying (I wouldn't either - I already told my SKs that we will pay for a wedding at 25 with decreasing financing each year before that). But not going? I love my kids. Even when they make terrible mistakes. I wouldn't want to set that tone right as our relationship is changing. Transitioning to parenting a semi adult - you can't and shouldn't tell them what to do any more. You can give advice - which they are free to ignore. Just as you are free to refuse to provide for them while they F up.
I am not at all surprised this young man's family would also act this way. Kids who don't experience unconditional love from their parents/family often seek it out inappropriately in their romantic relationships. Teenage boys/girls typically are looking forward to FREEDOM and partying - these two want a family more - not shocking at all that this is what they come from. And before you blah, blah, about her mother supporting this unconditionally - I would argue her mother has many "conditions" of her love. Starting with rejecting her father and his values.
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Forgiveness is...letting go of the hope that the past can be changed.
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LexieBelle
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[quote]Kids who don't experience unconditional love from their parents/family often seek it out inappropriately in their romantic relationships. [/quote]
AMEN!!!! Statement? Meet Poster Girl :):) (me, not you EM!)
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Gecko
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While I can agree with ya'll's stances on not paying for the wedding or for either child's continuing education, I TOTALLY disagree with NOT attending the wedding.
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If you air your dirty linen in public, expect people to comment on the skid marks!
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Miranda
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General Reply:
My husband folks are super super religious. His dad is a Minister and Mom is a deaconess . His parents and all of their minister friends refused to marry him to his ex-wife. He literally got "blackballed" by his family. (He still, at that time, did not consider this a red flag to reconsider the marriage.) It did not sever the relationship with his family, but it totally let him know that everyone disapproved. And then a year later he got the "We told you so, we told you she was not stable" diatribe.
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13.1...because I am only half crazy!
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Gecko
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General Reply to your General Reply -
There are a lot of folks out there, whose 'families' totally disapproved of whom they were marrying...and yet who have been married for many, many years.
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If you air your dirty linen in public, expect people to comment on the skid marks!
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Sadie
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Char, responding to your first post, this is how both hubby and the grooms parents feel. He does not approve, and feels that by going it is sending mixed messages. This is a hill he is willing to die on.
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RJ1
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As a daughter, I would have it in me to forgive my Dad. This wouldn't be a parent/child dealbreaker for me, although I have a very unusually forgiving heart, and weddings to me are such a waste of time and money and energy anyway. Especially when you are that young, have no good education or jobs, and are not thinking with a clear head, and wanting to spend inordinate amounts of money on a wedding that nobody approves of. If he felt that strongly against it, and I felt strongly for it, well then I guess I got my passion and hard headedness from him. :) There was a life before the "special day" and for me there will still be a life afterwards which would definitely include my Dad if he would allow it. Life sucks sometimes...oh well. This happened in our family with my brother and his daughter. They are hunky dory today (and the marriage ended within a year).
ETA: My drama queen meter reads zero though...so that may help. :)
Edited by RJ1 (12/20/11 07:07 PM)
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SweetLight
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Reged: 01/07/10
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You have had your mind made up for a long while now, and your heels are dug in deep. I'm not sure why you continue to post about it.
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Loretta
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[quote]This is a hill he is willing to die on. [/quote]
Rarely do your children become what you've dreamed of for them. You love them anyway. You be that soft place to fall for them. If only we could save them from almost certain pitfalls, but we can't. If I didn't want my child to marry and they were going to anyway??? I wouldn't miss it for the world. I also wouldn't ever say I told you so if it failed. These kids are going to be the parents of your grand kids, I sure wouldn't want to miss out on my grands!
But, this is you guys' hill, die on it if you want.
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Sadie
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SL
First, last time I checked this was a public board and I dont need your permission to post. Second, I was just showing the board members that we are not the only ones who feel this way.
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M5M5
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I agree. But...I don't think Sadie or her husband cares about how the daughter will feel. They don't seem to care much for her at all. So sad
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LexieBelle
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It is sad.. I truly feel for the girl on this particular issue at least. BTDT.. It's a HORRIBLE feeling :( Hopefully she and her future husband will go the distance, have a happy, loving marriage and prove both sets of parents dead wrong. If I were into prayer? I'd pray for that with all my heart!
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KiwiGirl
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At 17-18 the girl does not have the mental capacity to think this through. She is in the throes of passion and dreams and plans and probably a good helping of assistance from her mother and her family and reality TV shows.
If Sadie and her husband AND the boy's parents do not support this marriage because they feel these 2 are too young and impulsive and it will end in a divorce then this is their stand.
I did not support my daughter getting pregnant right out of high school and moving in with the moocher. I knew the writing on the wall screamed "Done in 2 yrs!" and she was.
I helped her out a little financially so she had enough to pay her child's copay but when she told me they were planning on getting married I refused to have a part to play in it. She hinted that her father and stepfather and I were 'supposed' to fund this little Emo Dramafest. The 3 of us were determined not to endorse it in any way because we did not believe that this marriage ...
well put it this way. It would be exhibit A in the High Drama Court for "How to make a mockery of marriage".
Just because your child chooses to do something stupid doesn't mean you HAVE to endorse it or support it or even turn up. I wouldn't. See, the other parents are against this as well not to mention the price tag for this "Say Yes To The Dress/Real Housewives...../My Big Fat Gypsey Wedding" compilation.
IF this marriage lasts the ride, well and good. The reasons for marrying are not very clear but the pricetag is. If this was REALLY the One and Only person for her then the big wedding would not even be considered. She would marry him in front of a judge in her best Sunday dress.
No one is owed Their Day. The high drama is all driven by a consumer society. Have Have Have. I want I want I want.
It makes me sad that being a Princess For a Day and the centre of attention is more important than stepping into your new life as a wife.
Sadie, if your DH is talking to his daughter he should broach the subject of premarital counselling and them saving for their future. He should ask her the hard questions.... they should both have life insurance policies to protect the spouse left behind. What happens if they get pregnant and the child is born with a birth defect? What happens if one of them loses their job? Is she willing to travel across country or to another country if this is what is needed for her husband to keep his job? Is he willing to do the same thing? IS she willing to move away from her friends and family to a town where they know no one because this is the only place with a job? What happens if they get evicted from their apartment? Does she know how to arrange to get the phone connected, power connected? How do they plan to get an excellent credit score? Does she know what her credit score is? All this stuff are things people willing to live their life together need to know. Are they prepared to pay for their own health insurance? Married people do not rely on others to support them including health insurance. I don't even think you can cover a married child on your insurance.
If she is determined to make this momentous step she should be prepared to no longer rely on relatives to prop them up but to stand on their own 2 feet.
It really sounds like the Day is the primary focus and not the next day and the day after that.....
The one good thing si they do not want to get married until after graduating high school. This is some months off yet and they may well drift apart.
This being said, my nephew has had the same girlfriend since he and she were 14. He is now 20 and they are marrying next April. 6 years together. Do they have all the answers? Probably not and neither do I endorse their rather large wedding esp. as they have been living together for the past 2 years. But they have left high school 3 years ago and are both working and saving for a house. They are also funding the majority of their wedding themselves.
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If I can't be part of the solution I insist on being most of the problem
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LexieBelle
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I understand what you're saying; however, I said it before and I will say it again.. not having your parents AT your wedding (let's take the PAYING for it off the table), SUCKS. Approve, disapprove, whatever, but it's your CHILD and whether the "wrong" thing to do, it's still a big event in their lives.
"What if" the parents are wrong? "What if" there is only ONE wedding in the girl's lifetime?
It's just a sucky thing to do. It's possible to not "agree" with a decision and not "support" it per se, but still.. support the PERSON. I absolutely think the attitude is crappy crappy CRAPPY and again, it's that attitude by the parents? That likely is DRIVING HER TO the relationship in the first place.
Just sayin'...
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SweetLight
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Reged: 01/07/10
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Nope, you don't need my permission to post. You just seem so gleeful about it. Enjoy your vacation with the groom's parents, if you choose that route.
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ssmom79
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Sadie was definitely was happy to report that other people so close the situation share her sentiment. Many people will share that sentiment. Some will not. You have to decide what is best for you in your own life. Some people will agree, others will not.
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Cassie23
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At 17-18 the girl does not have the mental capacity to think this through. She is in the throes of passion and dreams and plans and probably a good helping of assistance from her mother and her family and reality TV shows.
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I actually don't buy that. We can vote at age 18, heck you can enlist yourself into the military at 18. You are an adult at 18.
I agree with LB and the many others- you don't have to support anything your child does financially, but why not at the very least show up? Let Sadie's SD know she is important even when her choices are not align with what her parents want for her.
I remember some sad, sad stories dating back years in regards to this girl. Maybe the girl is getting married because she doesn't feel like she has a male to rely on? Again not the right reason to get married, BUT it would not surprise me given the history here.
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Sadie
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Thank you Kiwi. Dh has tried to have those talks with her, but they are so focused on the "Day" that nothing else seems to matter. The only job my sd has ever had was cleaning my office, and one half day greeting clients and answering phones, and her fiance worked for a landscaper last summer. Neither one has ever paid rent, balanced a checkbook, or even own a car. They are in for a HUGE awakening come this summer.
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spinnerdegrassi
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This is so much a girl thing. Part of the problem is the amount of importance all these girls tie to a wedding when 50% of them will end up having 2 or more in their lifetimes. I would bet anything that this SD wouldn't even invite them to the wedding if they weren't ponying up $$$ anyways, so I bet this whole thing is a moot point. I've seen that happen with coworkers, getting mad that their parents wouldn't give them $$$ so they ended up either eloping or having some destination wedding where the parents couldn't afford to go.
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LexieBelle
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Absolutely agree Cassie! Having an absent/disapproving/etc father figure will likely push her to find a man, ANY man who will "be there". And if she doesn't have a good male role model EMOTIONALLY she may not know what to even look for.
Another aspect is the rejection piece. The gentleman I am dating now and I have talked about this extensively. When the people who are "supposed" to love you? Don't, or make it feel like they don't? You don't know what it is.. and you'll likely accept something less than what's healthy because it's what you know. Something is better than nothing.. That's all you're worth.. I could go on and on.
With the parents NOT going? It's just going to reaffirm what she ALREADY likely feels. I'd say her likelihood of realizing a relationship is unhealthy? Will go down. Or if she does? There'll be another one. It's just how it works.
I know it for myself. I can see it in my own daughter, at 5. There's a male presence lacking and she'll look to plug it with.. whomever. I realize that's what she did with exSO. And it's actually been a good thing that it did NOT work out.. good teaching experience frankly. That no, NOT every boy is the right boy or that ANY boy will do. Absolutely not.
I've also learned from my own childhood experience what not to repeat. Definitely a conscious effort on my part b/c that's not my "natural" tendency. I have to know it's there.. that tendency.. and deliberately not do it. You can make your disapproval known, in a healthy way, but not be a dousche about it. They're being dousches.
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Sherron
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"It's possible to not "agree" with a decision and not "support" it per se, but still.. support the PERSON."
I think that's what it boils down to, especially when kids are no longer kids, but young adults who are making their own decisions. They may lack the wisdom and life experience to make good decisions, but good or bad, they will make those decisions. As a parent, that doesn't leave you much, except to support your child. That doesn't mean enabling decisions we consider wrong by throwing money at them... but letting the child know that we will always be there... how much easier will it be for sd to admit that the decision was wrong, that the marriage has failed, when she knows she has an unconditional support system... as opposed to feeling the need to stay in a doomed marriage, just to prove dad wrong.
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gr8Dad
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Love and "approval" are not always the hallmark of someone who TRULY loves you. Sometimes TRUE love is found in NOT rubber stamping every choice and action.
While I would not pay for a wedding my daughter wanted if I had reasons for disapproving of the wedding, I would attend, unless there was a DRASTIC reason not to (such as an abusive relationship, etc)
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Why give a "senior" discount, they have had plenty of time to raise the money...
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ssmom79
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Yes, life is usually a huge awakening. Hope you aren't standing by waiting to hand out a big fat I told you so.
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spinnerdegrassi
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[quote]Love and "approval" are not always the hallmark of someone who TRULY loves you. Sometimes TRUE love is found in NOT rubber stamping every choice and action.
While I would not pay for a wedding my daughter wanted if I had reasons for disapproving of the wedding, I would attend, unless there was a DRASTIC reason not to (such as HER MARRYING A DEMOCRAT!!!!) [/quote]
Fixed for Truth :)
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Miranda
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Totall disagree. 99.9% of 17-18 year olds haven't a clue. I have two at home. I cannot imagine them making a life altering decision like marriage at this age.
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13.1...because I am only half crazy!
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ssmom79
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OMG my SD has a 15 year old friend just blasted on FB that she is four months pregnant, has no idea the father, and is ready to raise her baby right.
SIGH....I think there should be a ban on marriages before 25.
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Miranda
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Totally agree. It is all the stupid reality TV shows on TV right now. The 5 hour "Kardashian" fake wedding drama,"my super sweet" shows, and all the other BS shows on TLC.
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13.1...because I am only half crazy!
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spinnerdegrassi
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[quote]Totall disagree. 99.9% of 17-18 year olds haven't a clue. I have two at home. I cannot imagine them making a life altering decision like marriage at this age. [/quote]
I can't imagine most making that decision these days until 30
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ssmom79
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UGH those wedding shows make me gag. It's just a waste to me. All the money dumped into a day.
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Miranda
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[quote]OMG my SD has a 15 year old friend just blasted on FB that she is four months pregnant, has no idea the father, and is ready to raise her baby right.
SIGH....I think there should be a ban on marriages before 25. [/quote]
That should be illegal. My husband's ex had a baby at 14, that was then raised as her brother, and her life has been effed up ever since. Sad, sad, sad.
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13.1...because I am only half crazy!
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Sherron
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"That should be illegal."
Yeah, that should fix it...
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javajunkiee
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This concept is so foreign to me... I sit here shaking my head because I just don't get it. If you're mature/strong enough to get married you should be mature/strong enough to not NEED (emphasis on need) your parents approval. If their approval is that crucial to the couple, they shouldn't get married.
This situation sounds like the kids are after the $$, and as Kiwi says, "The Day", like they're in some romantic Us Against The World tragedy.
If it wasn't about that, they'd just say they were doing it, then DO IT, whether their parents sat out the ceremony or not, and focus on making it work on.their.own after the fact. IMO Mommy and Daddy's approval wouldn't mean much if it didn't also represent $$$.
I swear that half the time I think adults do, or don't do, things based on whether their parents approve because they know the funds to bail them out will dry up if they go against their parents.
Stand on your own damn two feet, accept the consequences of your actions, and let go of the damn safety net! Grow up or stay a "child".
Sorry - going off on a tangent here. This type of foolishness by kids and parents just bugs the daylights out of me.
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Marriage doesn't come with a money-back guarantee.
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M5M5
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Yup! ITA. I'm going by the really SAD history they have with mistreating this girl.
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Debbie_L
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While I agree these young marriages don't usually work out, sometimes they do.
My nephew knocked up his 16 year old girlfriend and they got married. I thought it would never work. It is now almost 15 years later and they have a wonderful marriage and 3 great kids (super well behaved and helpful - it's almost sickening for those of us who had more "normal" teens, lol).
My parents got married when my mom was 15 (and pregnant with my oldest sister). They have now been married 57 years.
I don't recommend or endorse young people getting married, but there are cases where it does work out. Wouldn't it be best for the parents to hope for that, and be there for their kids if/when it does fail? Of course I would be recommending that my kid not get married, but if her mind was made up and she wouldn't listen all I could do is wish the best for her (and be there when needed). I also wouldn't put up any cash (but I don't believe in that no matter how old the kid is).
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Cassie23
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I have two kids who are amazingly mature for their ages, so maybe that's part of the problem. Although I would not want them to get married young, I am not going to tell them they are too young when they aren't too young to join the military. They are both adult decisions and I have to leave it to them to make the BEST decision for them.
My parents, specifically my mother, for example- often persuaded me not to follow my heart. If I would have listened entirely I would have been living a her home for years and not doing anything but working and contributing to her lifestyle.
Unless we want to start raising age limits on voting and joining the military then I don't think we can say an 18 year old is too young for much...
Of course I was married very young, so I guess that might have something to do with it too :)
I will say, however, for the few years in Indiana it seemed like 80% of the kids that married were just out of HS and in their first two years of college. I have several of them on my FB and here we are 5 years later and still married...
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spinnerdegrassi
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I liken that to the people who becomes sucesses with just HS diplomas. Sure they exist, and some obviously do very well. But they're the exception to the rule in this day and age, and for every success, you'll find 100 failures. Plus it depends on what state you're from. If the kids live in Arkansas, Tennessee, Mississippi, Alabama, Kentucky or West Virginia then getting married at 14 or marrying your cousin isn't that much out of the norm. But for the rest of the country it's generally frowned upon.
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Cassie23
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If you're mature/strong enough to get married you should be mature/strong enough to not NEED (emphasis on need) your parents approval. If their approval is that crucial to the couple, they shouldn't get married.
-----------------------------------------------
I agree to extent, but I believe that everyone wants some sort of acceptance- whether it be your family, friends, work, etc. It would also be, to me, embarrassing that my parents chose to simply forgo being part of a special day to me because they don't agree with my decision to marry.
I didn't even read that Sadie's SD is throwing a hissy because her Dad has decided not to attend the wedding. For all we know she may be taking it well and in the end maybe she doesn't want people there who obviously disapprove to the extent that they do.
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LexieBelle
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Quote: "It would also be, to me, embarrassing that my parents chose to simply forgo being part of a special day to me"
---------->>> Yup, this too. I didn't actually have a "formal" wedding until I married dd's father. It was a pretty big deal/big event. And I was already having pregnancy complications (I was in the ER the night before with my "issue"). I only have my parents. So, I had NO family at my wedding. It was pretty sad that I had more love from my BAR friends. The "parent/child" typical dance? One of my good male friends danced with me while my ex danced with his mother. And it was funny, enormous black guy from the Bronx, father at 14 years old, HATES weddings, NEVER been to one. Mine's the only one. Two of my favorite pictures in my life (it's on my fb actually) are of him and I dancing. Don't have any of my dad and I dancing at a wedding and I honestly doubt if I did, the love/affection/happiness that my friend obviously has in our pics, my father would have.
Definitely learned over the years, and likely this girl will too.. family isn't necessarily the people you're born with, it's the people you find along the way that treat you like family and vice versa that count.
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Sadie
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Honestly Cassie, she is more upset that Dh is not forking over the money for her "Klienfelds" Say Yes to the Dress dress then who will be at her wedding. Right now it looks like the wedding will be quite small with a few friends, and bm and her family the only ones attending.
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ssmom79
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Oh good, she can save money on the food and get her fancy dress then.
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Debbie_L
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I didn't say it was the "norm" for these things to work out - just that it can happen and I have examples from my own life. I'm in Canada, so not from any of the states you mentioned, lol. It isn't the usual situation to get married that early here either. I don't recommend it, I was just offering up some success stories.
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youngatheart
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And then there are stories like my sisters bff who had a baby at 15, eventually married dad, had two more kids, finished school, became an RN, saw her kids through the horror of their father being killed in a tragic auto accident, and has continued to raise really great kids.
Or me, who got married at 18, had two kids, was married for ten years, and continues to coparent better than most still-married couples.
I'm not advocating marriages or babies at that or any other, just that it doesn't have to be anymore dramatic than people make it.
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M5M5
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That is the most idiotic statement Ive read on here in a while. I do not know ANYONE who has gotten married younger than 18 and I know no one that has married their cousin. And I'm from east TN.
Showing your prejudice and ignorance.
ETA: Don't know anyone that got married that young unless they are older than mud. My grandmother married at 17.
Edited by M5M5 (12/21/11 07:10 PM)
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spinnerdegrassi
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How come you're the only one who didn't get the joke?
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Sadie
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Spinner, It must be a Tennessee thing,,LOL
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M5M5
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Hmmm, maybe because it's not the first time you've said stuff like that about TN and other southern states...and I really REALLY don't think you are joking....I think you really believe that, but whatev.
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M5M5
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You are a sad individual.
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Reilly
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Loc: right here ----->
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You're not alone...I found the comment to be in poor taste as well...
But I've come to not expect anything solid from him anyway...
Sad,really...he's a smart guy...but he obviously finds its funny to take pot shots at every social stereotype he can come up with...
Sometimes its funny....most of the time, I graze over his comments, because I find little of value...again..kind of sad..
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Ever notice how 'What the hell' is always the right answer?~Marilyn Monroe
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M5M5
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I agree with everything you just posted. Everything. It IS sad.
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gr8Dad
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Yeah, I LIVE in Mississippi, and consider this, do you think the stereotype exists because NO ONE got married too young or married a relative in those states? Nope. A stereotype exists specifically BECAUSE it has occured.
And yes, they DO get married to young here in Mississippi.
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Why give a "senior" discount, they have had plenty of time to raise the money...
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Sherron
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"Yeah, I LIVE in Mississippi, and consider this, do you think the stereotype exists because NO ONE got married too young or married a relative in those states? Nope. A stereotype exists specifically BECAUSE it has occured.
And yes, they DO get married to young here in Mississippi."
So what other stereotypes are you okay with, do you laugh about stereotypes about gays, blacks, illegals, mexicans... those all exist because they have occurred as well. Oops, almost forgot the one about the violent muslims. Here's a funny one for ya, how about the stereotype about lazy government employees, or how about the one about drunk natives, or the one about male nurses being gay and effeminate.
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gr8Dad
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"So what other stereotypes are you okay with, do you laugh about stereotypes about gays, blacks, illegals, mexicans... those all exist because they have occurred as well."
Sorry, where did I say I was okay with them? I said they ONLY exist because at SOME point, there was an element of truth to them. I mean you don't hear BLONDE jokes about them being SMART. What not? Because there was never a time when there was an element of truth.
"Here's a funny one for ya, how about the stereotype about lazy government employees, or how about the one about drunk natives, or the one about male nurses being gay and effeminate."
Again, each had an element of truth to it. Humor is only "funny" when it comes with an element of truth.
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Why give a "senior" discount, they have had plenty of time to raise the money...
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LexieBelle
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Quote: "Again, each had an element of truth to it. Humor is only "funny" when it comes with an element of truth. "
------------->> Agreed. Absolutely!
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Sherron
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"Sorry, where did I say I was okay with them? I said they ONLY exist because at SOME point, there was an element of truth to them. I mean you don't hear BLONDE jokes about them being SMART. What not? Because there was never a time when there was an element of truth."
Then your comment to the posters who criticized spinner's stereotype pot shots was... agreement with them?
"Again, each had an element of truth to it. Humor is only "funny" when it comes with an element of truth. "
So was spinner's funny, did you take it as a joke?
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Sherron
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"Quote: "Again, each had an element of truth to it. Humor is only "funny" when it comes with an element of truth. "
------------->> Agreed. Absolutely!"
Stereotypes about women with multiple kids by multiple baby daddies must just have you in stitches then.
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gr8Dad
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I criticized the COMPLETE denial that these things ever existed. And yes, I thought they were funny, because I do not take myself too seriously.
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Why give a "senior" discount, they have had plenty of time to raise the money...
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spinnerdegrassi
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Jeez, did no one here watch Deliverance or Wrong Turn?
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Sherron
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"I mean you don't hear BLONDE jokes about them being SMART. What not? Because there was never a time when there was an element of truth."
There has never been a time when there was an element of truth to what... a smart blonde woman?
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Sherron
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"Jeez, did no one here watch Deliverance or Wrong Turn?"
Sorry, too busy watching Peter Pan to find out why the red man's red.
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gr8Dad
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Much more evidence in the other direction, LOL.
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Why give a "senior" discount, they have had plenty of time to raise the money...
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Sherron
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"Much more evidence in the other direction, LOL. "
There was never a time when there was an element of truth to a blonde being smart, well, at least now we know what you think of all blondes.
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spinnerdegrassi
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[quote]"Jeez, did no one here watch Deliverance or Wrong Turn?"
Sorry, too busy watching Peter Pan to find out why the red man's red. [/quote]
Well if you'd watched those movies you'd know about the inbreeding in the south.
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LexieBelle
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[quote]"Quote: "Again, each had an element of truth to it. Humor is only "funny" when it comes with an element of truth. "
------------->> Agreed. Absolutely!"
Stereotypes about women with multiple kids by multiple baby daddies must just have you in stitches then. [/quote]
-------------------->>> It doesn't bother me. It is what it is. Yup, I've had two kids. By two different fathers. Yup. As Gr8 said, i don't take myself too seriously. First of all, second of all, the "stereotype" is more directed at those women who squeeze out a baby every time they want to up their paycheck :)
Now, given I don't HAVE my first child, never DID have my first child, don't even KNOW my first child, I'd say it doesnt' qualify.
Then, of course, I rushed RIGHT out.. NINETEEN YEARS later..and had.. GASP! Another child by another man! Oh my GOD!!!
ROFLMAO.
Sooo, yeah, I'm a multiple baby daddy girl. I'm also a "dumb blonde". I use that ALL THE TIME. One of my favorite phrases.. "I'm having a blonde moment". KK's seen me walk smack dab into a screen door.. almost toss dd through a tv screen trying to play Wii bowling. Yeah, i'm a ditzy blonde sometimes.
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LexieBelle
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[quote]"Much more evidence in the other direction, LOL. "
There was never a time when there was an element of truth to a blonde being smart, well, at least now we know what you think of all blondes. [/quote]
Oh good grief.. It's a JOKE!
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Sherron
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"Well if you'd watched those movies you'd know about the inbreeding in the south. "
I try not to get my world view from fictional movies, but you do what works for you.
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Sherron
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"I'm also a "dumb blonde". I use that ALL THE TIME. "
So you are a dumb blonde and you are okay with it, that is funny.
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gr8Dad
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My girlfriend is blonde. She just dyed her hair auburn. I said, "Oh, look, artificial intelligence." And guess what, she LAUGHED, because like me, she doesn't take herslef too serious.
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Why give a "senior" discount, they have had plenty of time to raise the money...
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Sherron
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"My girlfriend is blonde"
Guess now we know why she's your girlfriend. You're right, these are funny. :)
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gr8Dad
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Interestingly enough, you only find direct personal insults to be funny. Bottom line, you are just flat out mean.
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Why give a "senior" discount, they have had plenty of time to raise the money...
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googledad
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I try not to get my world view from fictional movies, but you do what works for you.
>>>>>>>>>> Yup , real life is much more revealing .
The infamous " Bible Belt " leads the nation in divorce , teen preganancy , Po RN consumption , obesity , murder rates and have the LOWEST high school graduation rates .
Oops , forgot alcoholism .
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Careful. We don't want to learn from this.
Edited by googledad (12/22/11 10:08 AM)
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Sherron
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"Interestingly enough, you only find direct personal insults to be funny. Bottom line, you are just flat out mean. "
Turns out, stereotypes are only funny until they're not funny, then they're just flat out mean...
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Sherron
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"The infamous " Bible Belt " leads the nation in divorce , teen preganancy , Po RN consumption , obesity , murder rates and have the LOWEST high school graduation rates .
Oops , forgot alcoholism ."
One of these things is not like the other, one of these things just doesn't belong...
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googledad
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Sorta like teeth in Kentucky ?
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Careful. We don't want to learn from this.
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googledad
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Oops , I apologize to Kentucky , WEST VIRGINIA is the land of toothlessness .
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Careful. We don't want to learn from this.
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LexieBelle
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[quote]Interestingly enough, you only find direct personal insults to be funny. Bottom line, you are just flat out mean. [/quote]
------------>>She rarely makes sense. She does the whole veiled, passive-aggressive, word game thing. Irritating as heck and everyone KNOWS SHE DOES IT!
One thing, you and I may not often (okay rarely lol) agree but, I give props that you say what you mean, and you mean what you say. You don't play head/word games. You are who you are and you own it. I don't think Sherron knows who she is yet so she plays these games.
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LexieBelle
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[quote]My girlfriend is blonde. She just dyed her hair auburn. I said, "Oh, look, artificial intelligence." And guess what, she LAUGHED, because like me, she doesn't take herslef too serious. [/quote]
--------->> Cuz it's FUNNY! Hey, I know I'm not ALWAYS a dumb blonde. I'm pretty smart overall. But do I have stupid moments that I atrribute to being a blonde? Hell effin yeah! Got it from my mom, also a blonde. She'll be like "I'm a blonde, explain it to me SLLOWWWWWLLYYYYYY" lol. And she automatically blamed CRS (can't remember shyt) on being a blonde. It's what we do ;)
Thankfully whatever her issues, my mom is pretty cool/hip. I know all my best dirty Irish limericks from her, and most of my really good curse words too ;) And, the ability to not take oneself too seriously is another attribute she gave me.
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Sherron
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"------------>>She rarely makes sense. She does the whole veiled, passive-aggressive, word game thing. Irritating as heck and everyone KNOWS SHE DOES IT!
One thing, you and I may not often (okay rarely lol) agree but, I give props that you say what you mean, and you mean what you say. You don't play head/word games. You are who you are and you own it. I don't think Sherron knows who she is yet so she plays these games. "
Says the dumb blonde...
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LexieBelle
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You're so funny Sherron...
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Loretta
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[quote]You're so funny Sherron... [/quote]
I totally agree!
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Sherron
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"You're so funny Sherron... "
It is only "funny" when it comes with an element of truth. :)
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LexieBelle
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I'm sure you're right Sherron.. of COURSE you're right :):) I am just a dumb blonde of course ;) I never peg anyone or anything accurately.. ROFLMAO.
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Sherron
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"I'm sure you're right Sherron.. of COURSE you're right :):) I am just a dumb blonde of course ;) I never peg anyone or anything accurately.. ROFLMAO. "
Yaaaaay, you "get it"... :)
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M5M5
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But...you get pretty upset when someone stereotypes women who've had an abortion or 10. Don't bother denying it, we've seen your rants on here.
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M5M5
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Look who is starting to take something seriously....it's all fun and games, dontcha know?
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gr8Dad
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I did not take anything serious or personal, just pointing out to her that she thinks stereotypes are wrong, but personal insults are OKAY.
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Why give a "senior" discount, they have had plenty of time to raise the money...
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LexieBelle
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[quote]But...you get pretty upset when someone stereotypes women who've had an abortion or 10. Don't bother denying it, we've seen your rants on here. [/quote]
Mmmm.. not exactly. I've reacted to statements about ME.. PERSONALLY. No one took a "stereotype" and applied it to me. Obviously I'm NOT a stereotype. I'm guessing there's not a lot of 6 figure professional women out there with my history.. I'm a bit of an anomaly, lol. Anyway, I absolutely reacted to being called a murderer etc etc etc. Yup, I did. I'll be the first person to stereotype, I guess, women who use abortion as birth control. I'm not that stereotype. I was sexually assaulted, and that resulted in an unwanted pregnancy that would have tied me to my abuser.. permanently. People, KNOWING that, still choose to be cvnts, quite frankly, that's THE only word to describe them.. either chose to ignore that fact, dismiss it or well, just chose to be cvnts.
And yup, I'm a bytch that uses the "C" word quite liberally. Applies often. Wanna stereotype me as being neurotic? Dysfunctional? Go right ahead. Don't fvck with me regarding my pregnancies. I never shared that stuff so it'd be used as a personal shove it up my ass ram for the village bitches. I shared it, for the same reason I share it with anyone, so they understand me, so maybe just MAYBE someone LEARNS something.
Oh and yeah, that's a rant :):)
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M5M5
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But...that's not what she was saying at all.
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Sherron
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"I never shared that stuff so it'd be used as a personal shove it up my ass ram for the village bitches. I shared it, for the same reason I share it with anyone, so they understand me, so maybe just MAYBE someone LEARNS something. "
So when you are the village biatch doing the ramming, what makes it ok? Do any of the things I have shared deserve to be used as a ram, like you have done.
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spinnerdegrassi
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[quote]"Well if you'd watched those movies you'd know about the inbreeding in the south. "
I try not to get my world view from fictional movies, but you do what works for you. [/quote]
Yet you get your view of the earth's creation, who created it, and who is your god from a book of fiction.....Just sayin'
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LeAnne
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You know you keep spouting off about this 6 figure income. From my research...where you live 6 figure is only about 60,000 in most other places....New York is very expensive...1200-1500 for a small apartment, daycare is way expensive and I imagine everything else is through the roof.
Plus property taxes to live there...
So really if you want to do cost comparison I make more than you do.
So 6 figure in New York area, is about 60,000 in Missouri.
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Empty Nesting
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spinnerdegrassi
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I think PM lives in Rhode Island now.
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Sherron
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"Yet you get your view of the earth's creation, who created it, and who is your god from a book of fiction.....Just sayin'"
Now that is an uneducated statement if ever there was one. In your opinion it is a book of fiction, but neither you, nor anyone else, has ever proven it to be a book of fiction... just sayin'...
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LexieBelle
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Leanne,
First.. I lived on Long Island and WORKED on Long Island. If I were to have worked in Manhattan? I'd have been looking at more like $125,000-$150,000 a year. Unfortunately, LI is notoriously cheap salary-wise, as compared to the cost of living there. That is why there are so many "commuters". You make NYC money, and take it out to LI. That's just the way it works.
Anywho, Spinner is correct. I now live in RI. Where I still make my nearly 6-figure income. My childcare cut in half, my housing stayed the same BUT.. I have twice as much "household" for my momey. I pay $100 less a month here for a 1,300 square foot 2 LARGE bed, 2 FULL bath (my daughter has a hallway into her room.. it's like a private entrance..) apartment. Vaulted ceilings, gas fireplace, well appointed, extensive fire system, sprinkler system (I have 10 sprinkler heads in the apartment), central emergency notification system and a bunch of other stuff. Pool, fitness center, etc so forth. Compared to my ONE bedroom ONE bath on LI.
Just miles and away a different ability to live.
What I accomplished on LI? For as long as I did (maintaining an apartment AND as house I was deeply underwater in)? Is nothing short of a brilliant accomplishment.
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LexieBelle
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[quote]"Yet you get your view of the earth's creation, who created it, and who is your god from a book of fiction.....Just sayin'"
Now that is an uneducated statement if ever there was one. In your opinion it is a book of fiction, but neither you, nor anyone else, has ever proven it to be a book of fiction... just sayin'... [/quote]
Science has... just sayin'.. if one is to believe the bible, the earth is only about 40,000 years old, and we KNOW, without ANY question, that is NOT TRUE. That's just the FIRST piece of glaring fiction of the bible.
Just sayin'.
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M5M5
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Reged: 07/29/05
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Well, if it WAS a book of fiction....you could have had a point.
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M5M5
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How do you know? The God of the Bible couldn't make it seem to be billions of years old when it's really not? Seriously? He MADE the world, the universe...everything...and He can't make things seem....different? That's one way to look at it.
Another way is...how do you know what a year to God is? A year to God could be to us...a billion years (just throwing out a random number). Just sayin'.
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LexieBelle
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[quote]"I never shared that stuff so it'd be used as a personal shove it up my ass ram for the village bitches. I shared it, for the same reason I share it with anyone, so they understand me, so maybe just MAYBE someone LEARNS something. "
So when you are the village biatch doing the ramming, what makes it ok? Do any of the things I have shared deserve to be used as a ram, like you have done. [/quote]
---------->> Once you ram first? Yup.
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Sherron
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"---------->> Once you ram first? Yup."
Another attempt by you to rewrite history... do you actually believe your own lies, or do you just expect others to believe them? But hey, what does it matter... none of these people are your friends, they are disposable and entertaining...
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LexieBelle
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[quote]How do you know? The God of the Bible couldn't make it seem to be billions of years old when it's really not? Seriously? He MADE the world, the universe...everything...and He can't make things seem....different? That's one way to look at it.
Another way is...how do you know what a year to God is? A year to God could be to us...a billion years (just throwing out a random number). Just sayin'. [/quote]
------------>> I could go with that argument EXCEPT, we know things like cavemen existed. Where is that? Just... no where? See, the Bible is supposed to indicate how EVERYTHING came to be. But it doesn't cover what we know, for a scientific/evolutionary fact to have occurred.
Soo, the God of the Bible just arbitrarily skipped over cavemen, people evolving to more intelligent beings.. the Ice Age, etc, yadda yadda and arbitrarily created a what, new start? At oh, creating the planet and humans. As an evolved species with cities and towns etc so forth when we know, again, without question that is NOT the case?
It's just inherently flawed to the scientific mind.
Now, not saying there may not be a "higher power", I'll definitely concede that point BUT.. do I think it's how the bible defines it? No. I am absolutely of the belief that religion (and "God") came about as a means to structure then growing civilizations and to establish order/cohesiveness to support civilization growth.
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LexieBelle
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We'll agree to disagree :)
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Sherron
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"We'll agree to disagree :) "
Yeah, didn't think you were gonna push that one too hard...
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Arden
old hand
Reged: 02/27/06
Posts: 858
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But hey, what does it matter... none of these people are your friends, they are disposable and entertaining...
+++++++++++++++++++
Please explain this. I don't know what you mean by it.
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Arden
old hand
Reged: 02/27/06
Posts: 858
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Oh hell I live so deep into Mississippi I can step off and into the Gulf of Mexico in less than 50 feet. I got the joke. Not only did I get it, I hear these type of jokes all time. About us, by us. Of course I will admit I don't take myself very seriously.
I do have to agree the personal attacks disguised as joke are not funny. It is easy to see the difference.
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ssmom79
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LB mentioned once that she liked to throw out little tidbits of information just to see how other people react. Said it was entertaining. Like a laser pen and a cat.
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M5M5
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Again, how do you know? Where you around when there were cavemen? Yes, their bones have been found but again...the God of the universe...who created all...could not make it seem like the caveman is older than what he is? Or something along those lines?
Something to think about...the Hebrew word for "day" has three literal definitions: 12 hours, 24 hours, or a long time period.
The Bible predicted that in the "last days" there would be those who scoff at the bible, and claim that "all things continue as they were from the beginning" (II Peter 3:3).
Now, I don't pretend to know everything about the Bible and honestly, I have a hard time even debating such things as the theory of evolution and what not...simply because I haven't really studied on the subject. But I know that a God that can make the world, the universe, etc....can make anything possible. I think there is a reason we are to walk by faith and not by sight. He tests us, all the time.
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Arden
old hand
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and.....
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ssmom79
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And what?
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LexieBelle
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[quote]"We'll agree to disagree :) "
Yeah, didn't think you were gonna push that one too hard... [/quote]
---------------->> We can push it as hard as you like Sherron.. I simply have other things to focus on besides your silly word games :) However, if you REALLY wanna go there? I'll go, no problem whatsoever ;)
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LexieBelle
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[quote]LB mentioned once that she liked to throw out little tidbits of information just to see how other people react. Said it was entertaining. Like a laser pen and a cat. [/quote]
-------->>> Some of the debates/discussions aren't entertaining to you? You've never thrown out a statement, whether you are really that 'vested' in it or not, just for discussion/debate? Have I? Absolutely. Never said I didn't.
Have I ever said NO ONE here is my friend? Umm.. perhaps as a throwaway comment MEANING that in the GRAND SCHEME of things, with the exception of one person I know in person, and a couple of others that I would LIKE to know in person, no.. I don't "know" the vast majority of you, and our paths in real live would likely never cross. So, do I "care" whether you "like" me per se? Not really.
Now, as I said, there ARE a couple of exceptions to that. Obviously, I'm extremely close with one poster here. They are basically family to me, and I'm pretty sure that feeling is mutual. There are a couple of other posters who I also feel very close to, Arden being one of those people. And yeah, Arden knows me well enough to know, that yeah, I'll throw stuff out there as a.. conversation piece.. of sorts. Never said I didn't, wouldn't ever deny that I do :) Nor do I deny the "friends" comment; however, I do feel it's being taken out of the context in which it was said.
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Arden
old hand
Reged: 02/27/06
Posts: 858
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I see the entertaining part. I don't see what that has to do with the question I asked Sherron, about a comment Sherron made. Maybe you are qualified to answer for her, I don't know either of you well enough to know if that is the case.
She made a comment about friends. You answered with, entertaining.
I find myself being entertained here. If I didn't I wouldn't come back. I spend zero hours at sites that fail to entertain and interest me. I think most people feel the same way.
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LexieBelle
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True, I wasn't around when cavemen were.. otherwise.. DAYUMMMM I'm lookin' gooooooood ;)
Seriously though, we DO know cavemen existed. We know by artifacts, drawings, etc. Just like we know the mammals that lived at that time, which are now extinct.
Long debate short (no offense and I appreciate us having a civilized discussion about, truly I do!), I have studied evolution.. specifically. It was actually the third class in a rather interesting series of classes, chosen strictly by chance on my part, but which flowed REALLY well in terms of the nature of man, the beginnings of western civilization and then evolution.
I actually wrote an excellent paper on God, religion, and the importance on civilization.. while debating the actual existence OF God. If you study all the pieces, know the bible, and put it all together.. logically.. the argument makes absolute sense. And it's pretty much documented by history. My theory being, as man evolved,and moved away, through becoming "civilized", his own inherent goodness (the first, natural instinct of animals/man is to protect, it was only when they began to congregate in "societies" that coveting became an issue, and the inherent goodness was somewhat lost in the translation) and through that loss, and through the building of a group society, a.. return.. to that goodness.. through "regulation" has to be instilled. In comes "religion". How do you enforce people behaving in a society that is new? Who defines who is better than someone else? Hmm... So, you create an all-knowing, all powerful entity and THEY set the rules (the Ten Commandments let's say). And voila! It's not a person, or a government necessarily that's enforcing, it's this "entity".
I did a tremendous amount of writing on the concepts through all 3 classes in question. It's funny out of my whole collegiate "career", I got the most enjoyment out of those three, taken in succession. Fascinating material and for an agnostic.. looking to sway one way or the other... the classes were definitely enlightening to say the least. Definitely swayed me more to the "atheistic" side than the believing side for sure.
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Sherron
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"-------->>> Some of the debates/discussions aren't entertaining to you? You've never thrown out a statement, whether you are really that 'vested' in it or not, just for discussion/debate? Have I? Absolutely. Never said I didn't."
No. You said you find it amusing to say one or two little things, whether you mean them or not, wind people up and up and whhhhirrrrrrrrr... that you do it just to test what people do, for your entertainment.
"Have I ever said NO ONE here is my friend? Umm.. perhaps as a throwaway comment MEANING that in the GRAND SCHEME of things, with the exception of one person I know in person, and a couple of others that I would LIKE to know in person, no.. I don't "know" the vast majority of you, and our paths in real live would likely never cross. So, do I "care" whether you "like" me per se? Not really.
Now, as I said, there ARE a couple of exceptions to that. Obviously, I'm extremely close with one poster here. They are basically family to me, and I'm pretty sure that feeling is mutual. There are a couple of other posters who I also feel very close to, Arden being one of those people. And yeah, Arden knows me well enough to know, that yeah, I'll throw stuff out there as a.. conversation piece.. of sorts. Never said I didn't, wouldn't ever deny that I do :) Nor do I deny the "friends" comment; however, I do feel it's being taken out of the context in which it was said."
No. You were very specific about defining friends and acquaintances, who you really know and can trust. You created the box and even tried to make other people's friendships fit in that little box you made up. Unless you've met them, socialized, spent time with their kids, traveled to see each other, and a few other criteria... they are only acquaintances and not people you really know, because anyone can lie and hide things in conversations.
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Sherron
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"---------------->> We can push it as hard as you like Sherron.. I simply have other things to focus on besides your silly word games :) However, if you REALLY wanna go there? I'll go, no problem whatsoever ;)"
"We"? I don't need to push anything... I know what you said, and so do you. You want to try and justify your ugly words and shift blame, when anyone with any character would recognize that what you have said is unjustifiable. You have used my daughter, her mental health issues and her mistakes, for your personal attacks on me... you are the village biatch who chose to use a child you have never meant and who, by your own definition, you don't even know, as your own personal "personal shove it up my ass ram". And then you want to claim victim status, that you only did because I rammed first? Tell me, pm. What have I said to you that you felt warranted to use my child like that, to compare my daughter to Casey Anthoney? Who has chosen to be the cvnt here?
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spinnerdegrassi
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Paging Sadie...you need to return to this thread so we can talk about your SD messing up her life again. This thread has been hijacked by a Catfight.
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LexieBelle
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Hmmm. I believe the attacks on MY child started first. She was, what? THREE at the time? Please.
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Sherron
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"Hmmm. I believe the attacks on MY child started first. She was, what? THREE at the time? Please."
Would those be the attacks that you've publicly thanked me for, because they prompted you to get the needed intervention for your dd? The attacks I've repeatedly apologized to you for, publicly and privately, because I know that my approach was wrong and I take full responsibility for that? Your dd is what... 6 now? And you feel the need to keep going 3 years later? What is it that you need from me to finally find peace and be able to move on, pm?
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LexieBelle
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Nothing, absolutely nothing. I don't like you and don't like how you play word games. I don't like the trying to trap people with your feigned ignorance. I've recently drveloped a zero tolerance policy for nonsense. You made the list.
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Sherron
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"Nothing, absolutely nothing. I don't like you and don't like how you play word games. I don't like the trying to trap people with your feigned ignorance. I've recently drveloped a zero tolerance policy for nonsense. You made the list. "
This isn't about you liking me or any list. In case you haven't noticed, I don't like you either, the things you do, the way you treat people... I don't surround myself with that, I'm not trying to be your friend here, it's not going to happen nor do I want it to. It's not even about you treating me with common decency, your words hold no power over me. But, I feel sorry for you, that you remain stuck in this place of discontentment, and that you have chosen this for yourself for 3 years now, because of my words. That is a lot of control you're giving to me, and I don't want it. So, my offer remains... if you want to resolve this, publicly, privately, your choice. If you want to remain stuck in the past, well, that is your choice as well. I've offered what I can, that is all I can do, and I can live with that. The choice is yours.
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LexieBelle
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You seem to think that I'm "stuck" Sherron. Not the case at all :) I'm quite happy in my life, and you're really not a factor in it. The fact I choose to pop in here now and again and, AS ALWAYS, yo'ure just a constant passive aggressive chop buster.. well.. if you're gonna play your game? Which you DOOOOOOO PLAYYYYYYYY.. Then so will I. It's not like it's a chore, or it's a big deal or like I sit up nights worrying about little 'ole sherron. Nothing could be further from reality darlin'.
It is what it is.
As for how I treat people. You don't know me Sherron. I treat people pretty damn well. I've got an awesome relationship with my child. An awesome relationship with my ex and I don't have any real world conflicts other than my mother and.. well.. you remind me SOOOOOO much of her, maybe that's why I dislike you so much. That probably is it. You just scream my mother to me. And I dislike her immensely.. and it probably just transfers to you. I remember my mother, JUST like you, pulling us out of counseling as a family when I was younger than your daughter was when you pulled your "well they blamed ME!!!! How DARE they!!!!!!" stunt. I'll never forget that posting b/c it sounded JUST like my mother. Hell, I'm 42 and I still hear about that.
Anyway, what you MIGHT try to do? Is just not respond to me. I don't like you, you don't like me. It's all good in the hood. I'm not around that much/posting that much. Shouldn't be THAT hard to NOT post whenever I happen to. You still wanna live here? Be my guest.. Just don't bother me when I happen to come around. Which, as I said, isn't that often anymore so it shouldn't be THAT hard. If you're not TRYING to be a fvcking bytch.
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ssmom79
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I would say I'm qualified to answer a question directed towards another on an Internet forum recalling information from any discussion I was a part of. I was a part of the discussion in which LB said what she did. Hope that is qualification enough. if not, well sorry to have spoken up in a public forum.
It's one thing to find a place entertaining. It's another to imply as LB did in her conversation that referenced the entertaining. As if she purposely says things to bait others and then watches the drama unfold. No that isn't why I come here and I find no entertainment in that.
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ssmom79
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Hey, between you and I, I get you. It is what it is with you. Ya know? No shadows of doubt there, and I can respect that. Its just when you put it out there like that, you will get different responses, you gotta be prepped for that. And I know after a few years here, you get that. Now that I say it that is strange to say I've been around for a few years here...
Just the resident sunshine blower. WHOOOOOSHHHHH!!!! :)
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LexieBelle
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Thanks SSMom, I appreciate that. And yes, you described it well.
I would clarify that the "entertaining" comes from DEBATE. We KNOW topics come up and they deviate from the "question" and go into "debate". Will I say things in a debate mode that are extreme? Yup.. Is that extremeness of statement necessarily how extreme my actual view is? Not necessarily. Do I find it "entertaining" to throw out a deliberately extreme view as part of a debate? ABSOLUTELY!
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SRS
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 11/05/10
Posts: 2161
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Yes, the debates, twists, and turns are entertaining. Otherwise we wouldn't all stick around for years.
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LexieBelle
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Exactly.... Why would someone spend time anywhere that wasn't entertaining? I mean in terms of like a website. Why would one bother? Just people's ideas of WHAT is entertaining exactly.. may differ.
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