lilo
recently joined
Reged: 01/16/05
Posts: 2
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Spouse disappeared to avoid paying alimony. The agreement was for him to pay lifetime. I am disabled and was so at the time of the divorce. I have raised our seven children alone as he has not seen them in over ten years.
Is there any way to track him down? Is it possible for him to totally disappear and hide all of his assets? He was a successful business man and apparently sold his business. He had putting huge amounts into IRAs and the like. I own a modest home, but without alimony have 0 income and must now sell ASAP. ANY IDEAS or FYIS ?
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Onyx
old hand
Reged: 08/03/04
Posts: 816
Loc: Buffalo NY
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How is it that you have 0 income? Just curious, as if you are disabled, you should be getting some sort of cash flow. Have you applied for SSI/SSD??
If you havent seen this man in 10 years, and have raised the kids alone, what do you want from him now, after all of this time? I am not trying to sound harsh, but why the heck did you wait until now to try and go after him for it? How long was the alimony ordered for? And with 7 children, werent you getting child support? You only mention the spousal support. I would think that with 7 children to care for, you would have been concerned with CS. Patiently awaiting your reply. Blessings, Onyx
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"Don't Make Me Get My Flying Monkeys"
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lilo
recently joined
Reged: 01/16/05
Posts: 2
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Sorry about that. I really did abbreviate since it is, as with most of these situations, a long and complicated story.
Firstly, allow me to apologize for the careless use of the word "alone". I did indeed receive alimony and some child support while raising the children....that is after taking him to court after we were forced to sell our first home because he fell into arrears saying that he "could not afford to go to the movies" Once the case got to court, it became clear that, as the judge said, he was "feathering his nest" quite nicely...even "putting huge amounts away for retirement". Despite disability, I worked whenever I could and did not want to file as there would be limits on what I could earn, and I had always hoped that I would at some point regain health. Also, with my huge medical bills, many not covered by insurance, and insurance premiums that have gone up 10 fold over the years, I needed to supplement income.
It appears that you thought that I was misleading you and for that I apologize. One of our kids is autistic, and two suffered with severe asthma, another had ADHD...at times, though I know many others are not so fortunate as to have any financial assistance from an ex, feeling ALONE in it all, even with alimony, was a very legitimate feeling.
Now the medical issues have worsened rather than improved and, despite my best efforts, I have been unable to work at all this past year (3 surgeries) and docs say I will never be well.
Yes, I am now filing for whatever SS benefits I can...a process too. The thresholds are very low for SSI (one's income must be <approx. $6,000 annually and one may not have more than $2,000 in assets, including all personal possessions, car, and house) and, as I said, I do have equity in my house.
The ex has paid since the last court debacle and has only 'left without a trace" two months ago.
Sooooo there is a mortgage, bills, insurance, food, heat etc. but there is no income. The bank accts = 0 as we have always lived month to month. Because of equity in house, do not qualify for gov't benefits and, naturally I have house on market. BUT day to day until that sale happens is pretty scary.
I was not asking for anyone's sympathy, no violins thank-you, just advice if anyone has had similar experience trying to find someone who has had a lot of time to think about how to disappear.
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Onyx
old hand
Reged: 08/03/04
Posts: 816
Loc: Buffalo NY
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Thanks for clarifying. Now, to find him? Have you tried calling his family? I mean, you have 7 kids, and his family must have some sort of interest in them.. (I know its not always the case- but its just a suggestion in hopes they would be willing to talk with you, because of the kids). Arent there any other options than to sell your house? I mean, you have equity, then wouldnt you rather take out a loan? I hate to see anyone have to move out of their home. Good luck, and keep us posted. I am sure there are other members on this board who can give you better advice on how to find a missing person. Blessings, Onyx
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"Don't Make Me Get My Flying Monkeys"
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