LeAnne
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 08/18/05
Posts: 10232
Loc: missouri
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Seriously you would let them live in your spare room?
That reminds me of some customers who have a 26 year old still living in their basement. Yikes...
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Empty Nesting
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SRS
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 11/05/10
Posts: 2161
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Yes, for a limited amount of time.
After I got out of the military, I stayed with my parents for a couple of weeks when I was job hunting.
When I got divorced, the kids and I stayed with my parents for a couple of weeks.
When I was a kid, we stayed with my relative for a month while our house was being built.
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meganb
old hand
Reged: 10/29/05
Posts: 1180
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I have to join you on this one Leanne....I might take the newly weds out and pick out a couch or bed or something like that, but if you are old enough to get married, then you should be old enough to support yourself.
Do I agree with the parents not paying for the wedding???? Sure do
Do I agree with not going to the wedding???? Dont know really.
Do I agree with the rude wake up call in showing these 2 HS lovebirds what it takes to live in the world today???? Yes I do. They need to be shown that love does not pay the bills and they need to have both of their eyes opened to this fact.
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Sadie
addict
Reged: 06/03/05
Posts: 567
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LeAnne, try a week and a half out of hs
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Cassie23
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 10/07/05
Posts: 14714
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For every story Leanne you have of a couple who married too young and are not happy, I know of one that has and they are happy.
I think there are some who lose sight of what love really is. My sister is a prime example of that. She is relationship hopping, swearing she is in love with each and every guy until she realizes she isn't. Then back to old BF who has given her and her kids everything they need and has supported her butt thus far. She has this painting in her head that love is wondrous with no pain, no real WORK and she would get all the attention she needs EVERY MINUTE because she is more important than anyone/anything in that man's eyes. She lives in a fantasy world. Her decisions are based only on her emotions that day. It is sad and even sadder as she has left her two kids (middle and high school age) to fulfill her unrealistic version of "love".
I have no problems with the expectations you set for your kids. I have no problem with the expectations I set for my children, BUT I would not choose to sit out of my daughter's wedding at 18 or 19 because I didn't agree with her decision.
My brother and his wife married VERY young. She was 19 and he was 21- been married 6 years with one baby and another on the way. Her parents went to the wedding and made a spectacle out of themselves. It was literally the worst wedding I attended because you could tell they were so unhappy with HER decision. Even the toast that her Uncle gave rang out, "Why did you marry HIM?", made more obvious when the Uncle "forgot" my brother's name. No offense, but my brother is a prize :) He graduated college while married and has a stable job. Her parents LOVE my brother now because he is pretty amazing. I wonder if they feel like jackasses for treating him so bad? Many of us didn't really like her either. He dated a girl before her that we all just adored. We never shared that with him or her and we certainly did our best to treat her well on her special day.
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Cassie23
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 10/07/05
Posts: 14714
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I seriously don't know any parent that would be jumping up and down in happiness of their kid getting married a month out of HS?
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ME EITHER. Jumping for joy is hardly what I would like to see in Sadie and her H. Maybe tell his DD he still loves her regardless of her decision to marry so young and against his wishes. Let her know he would love to sit down with her and go over a budget for what it costs to have their own apartment. Tell her that although he will not contribute financially he has no issues attending her wedding because he would hate to miss her special day. You can still LOVE your child when they make poor decisions.
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LexieBelle
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 11/07/10
Posts: 3680
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Ex, 40 years old.. how many years has it been now in Mom's basement? 4?
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LeAnne
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 08/18/05
Posts: 10232
Loc: missouri
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Just guessing this was their first piece of azz? They are in lust...not love.
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Empty Nesting
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LexieBelle
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 11/07/10
Posts: 3680
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[quote]That's it LB - LOVE is missing. [/quote]
That's what screams through for me. maybe it's too reminiscent for me of my own childhood.. my mother's. But the same toxic/loveless dynamic seems to be there.
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Sadie
addict
Reged: 06/03/05
Posts: 567
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Yes, and thats just what dh told her..
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