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nightowl74
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Reged: 01/04/12
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My son wants to live with me.
      #772977 - 01/04/12 06:17 AM

I cant afford an attorney and the last one I had kinda messed things up. My oldest son who is 14 has been wanting to move in with me ever sense our divorce. His Mom and Grandfather guilted him out of it the 1st time he asked. Told him anything from your Dad is a loser to your Dad doesnt love you.

He aproached me again And I asked him to try and work it out with his mom. Well She took offense to it, and placed another guilt trip on him, but instead of him feeling guilty it made him mad.

Anyways long story short My former lawyer had him sign a presidence. Nothing was done by them and they will not send me the form. Is is possible for me to get a form from the court house and file it myself?

Thanks ohh Im in Georgia.


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SRS
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Re: My son wants to live with me. [Re: nightowl74]
      #772980 - 01/04/12 07:22 AM

When my son gets mad at me, he has started saying he wants to live with Dad. I think all kids go through that in one way or another. Plus, Dad's house looks awesome since he doesn't have chores or homework there since he's only there 1 or 2 days a month.

Why don't you get involved with your son's activities - first? Get to know his friends. Get involved with his school.

Kids don't generally get to decide where they want to live. Status quo normally takes precedence.


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Renny
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Re: My son wants to live with me. [Re: nightowl74]
      #772981 - 01/04/12 07:49 AM

Not familiar with the term "presidence". If you meant "preference" or "election", it's probably an affidavit that hasn't been filed in any proceeding. Your son can sign another one, and if your state laws permit, you may use it in a modification of custody. In all likelihood, the best interests of the child standard still applies.

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Sherron
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Re: My son wants to live with me. [Re: Renny]
      #772985 - 01/04/12 08:15 AM

Not trying to be downer, but your wife has been laid off, your work has slowed with rumors of lay offs... how would you support the child? I would try to get over the financial hump first, before trying to bring your son into the home full time.

You don't say how often you see him now; if you're not maxing your time already, start... and go to any public event your son participates in even when it's not "your time"... if he plays sports, go to his games, go to parent teacher conference, etc. His mother and grandfather may still try to put you down, but you can counteract their words by your consistent actions. If you do end up going for custody later on when your household is more financially stable, showing that you are an active participant in your son's life will work in your favor.


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gr8Dad
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Re: My son wants to live with me. [Re: Renny]
      #772995 - 01/04/12 09:26 AM

Actually, I believe Georgia is the ONE state where, at the age of 12 or 14, the kids DO get to decide.

--------------------
Why give a "senior" discount, they have had plenty of time to raise the money...


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Renny
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Re: My son wants to live with me. [Re: gr8Dad]
      #772999 - 01/04/12 09:56 AM

I GA the child can "elect" at 14. But a recent appellate case holds that the best interests of the child standard, as seen by the judge, is the standard notwihstanding the election.

In practice, a child can't normally sever all ties with the NCP.


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SRS
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Re: My son wants to live with me. [Re: nightowl74]
      #773037 - 01/04/12 01:58 PM

Hey - I just realized that in another post you say that you can't afford CS and that you are paying late. Does one have anything to do with the other by chance?

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DedicatedDad
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Re: My son wants to live with me. [Re: SRS]
      #773038 - 01/04/12 01:59 PM

You can probably count on the 2 being related....

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SRS
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Re: My son wants to live with me. [Re: DedicatedDad]
      #773043 - 01/04/12 02:16 PM

I'm sure no court could figure that out.

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nightowl74
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Re: My son wants to live with me. [Re: SRS]
      #773054 - 01/04/12 03:51 PM

[quote]"When my son gets mad at me, he has started saying he wants to live with Dad." [/quote]


He always has been saying this. He only gets mad with his mom when she takes it personal and manipulates him. This is him telling me not me asking. All this is volunteered by him.


[quote]"Plus, Dad's house looks awesome since he doesn't have chores or homework there since he's only there 1 or 2 days a month." [/quote]


He see's me every weekend. He has chores at both houses, and he does do Homework on the weekends.


[quote]"Why don't you get involved with your son's activities - first? Get to know his friends. Get involved with his school." [/quote]


Ive been to every school meeting, every counseling, doctors appointments, and most everything that she has informed me of. She doesn't always inform me of everything.


[quote]"Not familiar with the term "presidence". If you meant "preference" or "election" [/quote]

Yes its an election. I just came in from work and haven't slept much last few days. Thanks Renny for the response, not being emotional and assuming I'm like some Dad's.


[quote]"Not trying to be downer, but your wife has been laid off, your work has slowed with rumors of lay offs" [/quote]


Yes I've considered that. At the moment both households are not doing good financially. Which is probably why she threatened this out of the blue. She's never did that before and kinda caught me off guard.


[quote]"You don't say how often you see him now" [/quote]


I'm sorry. I'm not that articulate. I seem him every weekend. We split holidays, and I go to all his stuff that I know about.


[quote]"but you can counteract their words by your consistent actions" [/quote]


Yes my actions do. Ive been to all of his stuff. Now Ive missed a couple things with my younger two do to having to work. Ive been to all of there school stuff, but haven't been to some of there boy scouts stuff. That was because of work Ive been to all of there counseling appointments.


Ive also talked to The counselor. He agrees that my oldest moving in would help him. He has observed both household's.


[quote]"Hey - I just realized that in another post you say that you can't afford CS and that you are paying late. Does one have anything to do with the other by chance?" [/quote]


I'm late by a week. This is not something that happens often. In fact its been 3 years sense the last time I was this late. As for custody of my child. We've been talking about this for a few years now. Ive even offered to leave CS the same without modifying it
.

I'll not dignify the last too comments with a response.

Now I have two younger sons who told me they'd prefer to live with Mom. They brought this up after Mom through a fit in front of them because my oldest wanted to move in with me. MY youngest actually bring up a lot of stuff because of her fits. Ive not asked anyone of them to move in.


Thanks for your responses. :)

Edited by nightowl74 (01/04/12 04:00 PM)


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