ssmom79
Carpal \'Tunnel

Reged: 06/27/07
Posts: 7784
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There actually are some parents who are fat, lazy and living high off the CS. When SS graduates next year, a really rude awakening is coming to BM. We will only have SD and the 50/50 placement will be factored into the equation. She will see a drop from $1250 to about $300. She is building a house and I am THRILLED for the kids and BM but it's expensive and I am worried she will lose the house when CS changes. ANYWAY...some do actually fit those guidelines. As many as proclaim it, probably not.
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Miranda
Carpal \'Tunnel

Reged: 06/02/05
Posts: 20822
Loc: North of Mexico
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[quote]It's not unusual for the stepmother to have ill feelings towards the BM and the kids. Every time you see the kids, especially the daughter, it remoinds you of the BM and love you H once shared with her. I think this is a sad situation. Hostility to the BM disguised as wanting to instill discipline and personal responsibility into the kid. The kid won't forget that you denied her a small favor when it cost you very little and meant a lot to her. She may return the favor someday by putting you in a nursing home. [/quote]
OMG this is the most melodramatic post I have read in a long time. Ridiculous...too much "Days of Our Lives".
-------------------- 13.1...because I am only half crazy!
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SweetLight
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 01/07/10
Posts: 2003
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I don't have children of my own- my oldest sister has 4. Recently my Dad purchased 2 cars (about $7K each) for my nephews. I don't think it's too much to ask the other parent (My sister's ExH) to contribute to insurance for the provided reliable car. JMHO. ;-)
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Redlegg
Carpal \'Tunnel

Reged: 10/05/06
Posts: 26682
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Everyone pays above what they are required to for their kids, well, unless they cannot afford it or disagree with it, but other than that, of course....What parent would nto pay for something they want their child to do, if they can afford to pay for it......
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Avaya
Carpal \'Tunnel

Reged: 02/09/06
Posts: 9816
Loc: Arkansas
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I disagree. Your sister didn't provide anything, the childrens' grandfather provided it. IMHO, your sister and her ExH should share the cost of insurance IF they both agree their sons should have the cars. IMHO, grandpa providing it doesn't mean sister should expect dad to foot the costs. She's out nothing.
-------------------- Eternity is too long to be wrong.
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Sherron
Carpal \'Tunnel

Reged: 11/25/06
Posts: 20056
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"I disagree. Your sister didn't provide anything, the childrens' grandfather provided it. IMHO, your sister and her ExH should share the cost of insurance IF they both agree their sons should have the cars. IMHO, grandpa providing it doesn't mean sister should expect dad to foot the costs. She's out nothing."
I thought that's what SL meant by asking the other parent to contribute... to help out, not to foot the entire cost.
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SweetLight
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 01/07/10
Posts: 2003
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Her ExH does cover the insurance, and it's a lot less than if he was contributing to the cost of the cars. Thanks to the generosity of my Dad.
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Avaya
Carpal \'Tunnel

Reged: 02/09/06
Posts: 9816
Loc: Arkansas
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What is your sister contributing?
-------------------- Eternity is too long to be wrong.
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Cassie23
Carpal \'Tunnel

Reged: 10/07/05
Posts: 14714
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It's not unusual for the stepmother to have ill feelings towards the BM and the kids. Every time you see the kids, especially the daughter, it remoinds you of the BM and love you H once shared with her ----------------------------------------------------
WOAH? Really? What world are you living in? In most divorce cases, I can assure you there is no love lost. Looking at my SD didn't remind me of the love BM and H once shared. LOL
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Cassie23
Carpal \'Tunnel

Reged: 10/07/05
Posts: 14714
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They aren't denying her anything. They are not willing to send a car they are paying for to BM's house without everyone helping out. I don't blame them. My kids will not take my car to their dad's house either. Of course i do not believe in teens, especially 16yo new drivers having a car at their disposal.
I'm not sure why you think the issue is that the child reminds her that BM and her H were once together and that's why she doesn't want to do this. I think that's pretty far fetched. It's not a competition. Also it's pretty unlikely that a stepchild would have any say in putting a step parent in a nursing home, but good try.
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I think that the OP is making the right decision. Actually I don't know that I would have gone as far as to send a car I bought and are STILL paying on to BM's house. In our case BM wanted us to contribute 50% to a vehicle for SD. We said no because when SD is with us we would give her a vehicle to use. And to be honest we figured that vehicle would end up being more for BM than SD. Turns out we were right. The vehicle was used by BM more than SD. Then BM sold it, bought SD a $2500 car and she wrecked it in less than a week. Too many variables. If the child is driving a car you bought, but is with the other parent the majority of the time...I don't think I would be willing to contribute. When the child is with us, we will give her the opportunity to have use of a vehicle. We really don't agree with just giving a child, in HS, a car to have.
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