Cassie23
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 10/07/05
Posts: 14714
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In the long run, those same qualities will serve them well in life... once they learn how to channel them and use their powers for good lol.
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Good point and agreed!!!
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Sherron
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 11/25/06
Posts: 20193
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"As for micromanaging SD- if she was driving in our vehicle with OUR name and OUR insurance I was going to micromanage because there is NO way I was going to be hit with a lawsuit because she decided to skip school (why she was given a car) to do whatever it was she fancied."
I can somewhat relate, even though I didn't go to the levels of micromanaging you did... I just figured my dd simply wasn't ready to drive.
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javajunkiee
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/01/08
Posts: 3158
Loc: SC
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Our experiences have been similar, yes Cassie. You're right. Although DH has been a lot tougher the last few years, basically since we got back together in 08(?). Oldest SS biggest issues have been school-related since then, and that's even improved. He's pulled A/B Honor Rolls and he even has a shot at the A list this marking period.
Unfortunately it appears that the freedom he's earned with his good behavior he's gotten too accustomed to, and since he knows right from wrong, he's gotten quite good at hiding stuff too.
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Marriage doesn't come with a money-back guarantee.
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Sherron
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 11/25/06
Posts: 20193
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"Because I know of JJ's PAST- her and I had many similar stories regarding our stepchildren and this may be one of the VERY first times Mr. JJ has disciplined his child....if memory serves correct."
I'll admit, I don't recall any updates from jj for a while. If this is the first time Mr. jj has ever disciplined, he did well... I assumed his actions came from experience, not chance.
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LeAnne
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 08/18/05
Posts: 10232
Loc: missouri
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I feel your pain lady.
They all go through it...except for the ones with the "perfect child"
Now for having a perfect child...sorry haven't seen one yet?
I know some think they have the perfect child just aren't digging deep enough...or the parent doesn't really have a clue.
Now I don't believe in buying cars, paying for gas or insurance and I don't care what sport...blah..blah blah they are into.
It's all about teaching personal responsibilty for their things and their actions.
Cut off the cash flow....are they going to squeal...YES...are they going to MOAN..yes...is it going to be worse on you for a little while..YES...are they going to learn...YUP...the hardway.
Another thing to remember...even though they are not driving now..he is still hanging with the same buddies who are drinking too...so he is riding with someone who has probably been drinking too.
Just a hard stage to go through...my kids tried it and everybody should pretty much know these kids are drinking.
I just had a good enough relationship with my kids...we had an understanding that if you have been drinking you better call me and I will either give the approval of spending the night or i will come and get you, No questions asked. If you go off the deep end when things happen like this, they will hide even more from you.
I wish I had the Perfect answer.
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Empty Nesting
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javajunkiee
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/01/08
Posts: 3158
Loc: SC
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You'd think SS would be VERY well informed at this point; his oldest brother (Bm's 1st son) got into a wreck this fall thanks to drinking and driving. No one was hurt thankfully, but the boy lost his license and his own car was given to the buddy who's car he totaled. He then lost his job (no reliable transportation), couldn't pay rent so he lost his place to live, and is now sleeping on his mother's couch in her 1 bedroom apt. He doesn't get his license back until April, *if* he pays the $500 for the alcohol class, and then he won't have a car or any way to insure it with a DUI and being 20yo.
SS was angry with his older brother over the whole mess, but look what he was setting himself up for?
SS has applied to his 1st choice for school and is waiting to hear back now. Come August we anticipate having one less hungry teenager in the house.
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Marriage doesn't come with a money-back guarantee.
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Cassie23
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 10/07/05
Posts: 14714
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That's what I saw in H. We certainly wouldn't have gone to all the trouble with the GPS tracker if SD's choices weren't similar to the ones you are citing now. Again, those were all under her Mom's care except for us catching her saying she was studying at the library and she was actually at a party she was told she couldn't go to.
We never used the GPS to set parameters, but with MY and H's financial wellbeing on the line I really felt like I couldn't take any chances.
I know most of your SS's issues have been in dealings with irresponsibility. Looks like he has been doing great with the grades and he must have forgotten driving was a "privilege" and not a right.
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LeAnne
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 08/18/05
Posts: 10232
Loc: missouri
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He hasn't learned from the brother...cause it hasn't happened to him.
So let me guess? You have this secret countdown calender to EMPTY NESTING and are crossing off the days? Teehee
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Empty Nesting
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Cassie23
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 10/07/05
Posts: 14714
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I didn't say I had a perfect child/ren if that is what you are alluding to, I just don't think I will see similar patterns of bad behavior with my two as we did with SD because I FOLLOW THROUGH. I also have very open lines of communication with my children and they know high or hellwater they can count on me.
I swear once my daughter turned 13 she developed this attitude. I think what I would call "typical" though. So are their "typical" things that most kids do? SURE. Do I consider drinking and driving, one? NO.
Not too long ago I had to ground D for the first time ever. Again I could see H feeling bad for her, oh his poor baby... She had to suck it up and finish her punishment and since then I hadn't had any trouble. Most of hers is attitude related, but I know as a teen you won't always make the RIGHT choice... I am just hoping that she OWNS up to the bad choices, pays the consequence (without whining) and LEARNS from her mistakes.
SD has come a LONG way. I had to giggle the other night. She was talking about how her cousin used the money ($1000) her Grandma put away for them for college on a car, without Grandma knowing. SD could NOT believe her cousin would do that. What SD must have forgot is that is the EXACT same thing she wanted to do with her Grandma's $$$ but we talked her out of it.
As Sherron said they just have to put those characteristics to good use. And I would think most do.
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Cassie23
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 10/07/05
Posts: 14714
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Come August we anticipate having one less hungry teenager in the house.
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YAY!!! I'm waiting on my two. 2 and three years left. TRhe countdown has already begun!!
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