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c_jane
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Question on Punishment?
      #774108 - 01/13/12 09:09 AM

I told DS if he got any more zero's for work not turned in he would lose his phone one day for each zero.

He's now lost his phone for four days. DS asked me if he asked the teachers to 'make up' the zeros or found the work/turned it in -- could he get his phone back.

I'm debating on this. On one hand -- the ZERO's are the problem and if he's willing to make the effort to redo the work/make it up and the teachers will accept it the ZERO's will be taken care of.

On the other hand, DS MADE the zero's in the first place. If he'd tended to his original business in class, we wouldn't be having this discussion in the first place.

I'm thinking: let his 'make up' the zero's this FIRST time, but after that the original punishment stands whether the zero's are made up or not.

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LexieBelle
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Re: Question on Punishment? [Re: c_jane]
      #774112 - 01/13/12 09:27 AM

Nope... he got the zero's, he earned the punishment. Period. I wouldn't allow him to ask the teachers to make it up either. You follow the rules/do the work when you're SUPPOSED to. You don't get do-overs in real life for the most part and if you do you're LUCKY. Best learn that lesson NOW.

DD is in KINDERGARTEN and we've already gone this route. You did it? You earned it. No you may NOT go back and ask for a mulligan. Nope. End of story.


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LeAnne
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Re: Question on Punishment? [Re: c_jane]
      #774115 - 01/13/12 09:40 AM

Only one day for every 0? Wow I think I would come off harder on the punishment. Like a 0= one week with no cell. Come big or don't come at all, was my theory with my kids.
As a parent, you need to let them know you mean business right from the start.

Wonder if the cell is interfering in his class work?

I really wish the schools would put cell blockers in.

And as a big tax payor to the schools here, I don't expect the kids to be playing with cells at school at all. The kids are there to get educated and that doesn't mean to be the fastest texter in their hoodie pockets.

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Sherron
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Re: Question on Punishment? [Re: LeAnne]
      #774116 - 01/13/12 09:43 AM

"He's now lost his phone for four days. DS asked me if he asked the teachers to 'make up' the zeros or found the work/turned it in -- could he get his phone back."

You can cut the consequences in half, after he gets rid of the zeros. If that happens tomorrow, and he has 2 days left of being cell free, cut it down to 1 day. A lesser "sentence" for making an effort to correct his mistake makes sense if the purpose of the consequences is to change behavior... you want him to turn in his assignments and get credit... he's offering to do just that, encourage it.


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youngatheart
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Re: Question on Punishment? [Re: c_jane]
      #774118 - 01/13/12 09:54 AM

I'd put him on parole if it is the first time. And I'd make him make up the work.

Parole in that if he gets even one more zero this year, he gets punished for that AND the punishment from these zeros.

I had a really bad fall semester with Son regarding zeros, but it was due to him missing soooo much school, being completely overwhelmed, and bad communication with teachers. We have a much better game plan this semester.


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c_jane
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Re: Question on Punishment? [Re: Sherron]
      #774123 - 01/13/12 10:06 AM

He only uses his cell to listen to music in school. The REASON I took the cell away is that is what matters most to him. I KNEW it would make an impact. And it HAS had the desired effect. His life is over (at least for a week).

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Redlegg
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Re: Question on Punishment? [Re: c_jane]
      #774131 - 01/13/12 11:02 AM

You told him what would happen if he got the zero's. He kept up his part of the bargain, why would you change your part.

I figure a couple of things will happen. He needs to understand he should make up the work and it has nothing to do with the phone. It has to do with his responsibilities. The other is that he will see what you say is not what you will do.

When you say something follow through, and he makes up the work for the simple fact that he has a responsibility that has nothing to do with the phone, and him correcting it the best he can has everything to do with his responsibility. The phone was the cost of the zero in the first place. Don't change that now, or he will come to expect it.


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Avaya
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Re: Question on Punishment? [Re: Redlegg]
      #774132 - 01/13/12 11:04 AM

I make him make up the work whether you're giving the phone back or not - his grades will reflect the zero if he doesn't! If it CAN be made up, IMO it should be.

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annieo
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Re: Question on Punishment? [Re: c_jane]
      #774134 - 01/13/12 11:08 AM

I would let the punishment stand and he has to make up the zero's.

I agree with LeAnne and in my house it would be 0=1 week.

I don't wishy washy parent - punishment stands otherwise he will know he can always wiggle his way out if he puts a little effort into whatever - this is the same child that did not turn his assignment in and received a zero - one would think he would have learned - of course you never said if he was allowed to turn it in for credit - if he was allowed to turn it in later with full or partial credit - this is what he is learning - that behavior is being re-inforced and you now want to lessen the punishment if he makes up the zeros....


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LexieBelle
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Re: Question on Punishment? [Re: annieo]
      #774135 - 01/13/12 11:11 AM

I would be vehemently opposed to being allowed to go back NOW and make up the work. No no nooooooo... TERRIBLE life lesson IMO.

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annieo
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Re: Question on Punishment? [Re: LexieBelle]
      #774136 - 01/13/12 11:13 AM

he has to do the missed work - credit or no credit is up to the teacher - if I was the teacher - NO credit but has to do the work.

ETA: the assignment he missed before was a huge project worth many points

Edited by annieo (01/13/12 11:15 AM)


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LeAnne
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Re: Question on Punishment? [Re: c_jane]
      #774138 - 01/13/12 11:18 AM

He only uses his cell to listen to music in school. Quote

Sorry but he shouldn't even be doing that in school...

He is there to learn.

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ssmom79
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Re: Question on Punishment? [Re: c_jane]
      #774141 - 01/13/12 11:32 AM

I guess I'm confused. If he loses the phone for a day if an assignment isn't turned in, he gets it back the next day right? So has he missed four assignments?

Honestly I'd go the opposite way you're thinking. If you think that allowing the option to make-up the work is OK, you should stick to the original rule this time, then make the change on the next zero.


I like the punishment idea CJ. One day per zero. However, I would want my kid to make up any work that was available, phone or not.


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c_jane
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Re: Question on Punishment? [Re: ssmom79]
      #774153 - 01/13/12 12:47 PM

Yes -- 4 assignments. I can check his grades online, but because of the delay in teachers grading/recording grades -- the zero's all showed up in the space of a couple of days in 3 different classes.

His other grades & major grades are high enough that he still continues to maintain an A-B average. Which is why I felt a day per Zero was plenty.

I'm thinking since this is the first time, IF he can turn in the work late/make it up and the teacher accepts that (BIG 'If' since I don't know his teachers) -- I will accept that as 'deferred adjudication' & he can get his phone back. However, any further zero's will result in the ORIGINAL days being charged as well as the current ones added on.

And why shouldn't he listen to music in school if the teachers don't mind? Studies have shown that some students learn better this way.

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Cassie23
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Re: Question on Punishment? [Re: c_jane]
      #774154 - 01/13/12 01:25 PM

I would say no. So he doesn't think next time he gets a zero, he can do the same- ask to make up the zero and the punishment doesn't apply. I may be willing to look past ONE zero- the child forgot the HW, lost it, whatnot. However FOUR??? DS may have one zero a year for HW he forgot to turn in, or he was absent and forgot to ask what the make-up HW was for the day. If you don't ask, the teacher will not tell you and you get a zero.

Now, your DS is in HS- just as mine are. WHAT teacher allows your DS to make up a zero? If I recall he is also taking some Honors classes? In my DD's honor classes there are NO makeups and there is NO extra credit. Very seldom do any teachers give extra credit or let you make up a zero.


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javajunkiee
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Re: Question on Punishment? [Re: Cassie23]
      #774157 - 01/13/12 01:36 PM

I say he makes up the work AND he takes the punishment. Just like if he screws up in college or on the job, he has to learn there are consequences and you don't always get do-overs.

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LeAnne
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Re: Question on Punishment? [Re: c_jane]
      #774162 - 01/13/12 02:24 PM

And why shouldn't he listen to music in school if the teachers don't mind? Quote

Seems most teacher don't give a crap anymore if the kids learn anything.
They are tired of fighting with the kids and parents. The teachers are no longer in charge of their classrooms.
Little Johnny wants music, Little suzy's mom has to be able to text her and if they don't get to...some parent is standing in the principals office telling the principal this is how it "IS" going to be.

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Gecko
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Re: Question on Punishment? [Re: c_jane]
      #774163 - 01/13/12 02:26 PM

I'm totally against 'make up work' in school UNLESS there are extraordinary circumstances to cause not being able to turn in the work in the first place...like illness, death in family, accident.

Let him keep the zeros and extend the punishment. I think Leann suggested one WEEK for each bad grade.

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Redlegg
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Re: Question on Punishment? [Re: Gecko]
      #774165 - 01/13/12 02:29 PM

And why shouldn't he listen to music in school if the teachers don't mind?

4 zeros....someone should mind.....


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Cassie23
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Re: Question on Punishment? [Re: Cassie23]
      #774167 - 01/13/12 02:55 PM

I am believer that classical music amongst other things can aid in studying and learning. However, I doubt most kids listen to classical music. My kids school does not allow cells or Ipods in the room. There were a couple teachers my kids had last semester that didn't care if they used their Ipods during "homework" time. Which I believe was 20 minutes at the end of class. These teachers were the young ones, having only been in their teaching positions there for a year or so.

I thought that was ridiculous because it did not coincide with the rules of the school as a whole. It does seem like our high school makes rules with the intention that they will probably be broken. My kids have been told that Ipods and cells are only to be used before and after the beginning and end of the school day.


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LeAnne
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Re: Question on Punishment? [Re: Redlegg]
      #774168 - 01/13/12 02:55 PM

Maybe it falls under that NO CHILD LEFT BEHIND law?

And why do we have so many entitlement kids laying around?

Next it will be I work better with music and I have to have me cell out, because mommy is going to text me when she is bringing my lunch to work.
Then mom is running late, because well she was in the middle of ironing your underwear, fluffing the pillows on your bed, while she cooks you something else because you don't like what she made for dinner.

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youngatheart
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Re: Question on Punishment? [Re: LeAnne]
      #774171 - 01/13/12 03:05 PM

Actually, a lot of people do work better with music. And is totally different than the distraction of a phone.

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LeAnne
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Re: Question on Punishment? [Re: youngatheart]
      #774173 - 01/13/12 03:13 PM

Not from Osha's point of view. It is called a distraction.

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youngatheart
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Re: Question on Punishment? [Re: LeAnne]
      #774189 - 01/13/12 05:27 PM

I'm not sure I'd use osha regs as the end all, be all of productivity.

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rocketgirl
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Re: Question on Punishment? [Re: c_jane]
      #774196 - 01/13/12 06:08 PM

Boy, you are naive...

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c_jane
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Re: Question on Punishment? [Re: rocketgirl]
      #774200 - 01/13/12 07:12 PM

[quote]Boy, you are naive... [/quote]

???????

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Reilly
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Re: Question on Punishment? [Re: c_jane]
      #774229 - 01/14/12 06:55 AM

You stated that he only used his cell phone to listen to music...AND that it was the most important thing to him...Given that, a very nice MP3 should do the trick and would likely not get him in much trouble...

The idea that the music is "helping" in some way doesn't bear out the fact that he has a bunch of zero's for imcompleted work...

Have you checked the cell phone usage during school hours...?

ETA...Hence.."naive"..


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Edited by Reilly (01/14/12 06:56 AM)


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spinnerdegrassi
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Re: Question on Punishment? [Re: Reilly]
      #774235 - 01/14/12 08:04 AM

It's a wonder we all survived without cell phones when we were in HS 20+ years ago. Imagine, no internet, no cell phones, no laptops....but most of all...I don't ever recall getting a Zero on anything...because I wasn't distracted figuring out who I was going to text or update on facebook.

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Cassie23
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Re: Question on Punishment? [Re: spinnerdegrassi]
      #774241 - 01/14/12 08:21 AM

Or tweet...

I would have to agree with that. Absolutely.


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Reilly
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Re: Question on Punishment? [Re: Cassie23]
      #774245 - 01/14/12 08:38 AM

Absolutely!

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Runswithscissors
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Re: Question on Punishment? [Re: Reilly]
      #774249 - 01/14/12 09:41 AM

Both kids use cell for music at school, bit with Sprint I can shut off texting, calls and internet during certain times....so neither can use it for anything but music stored on their iphones.

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youngatheart
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Re: Question on Punishment? [Re: spinnerdegrassi]
      #774250 - 01/14/12 09:47 AM

I just love it when people start going down this path. It's pretty much exactly what was said 20-25 years ago about boom boxes and walkmans and Ataris.

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spinnerdegrassi
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Re: Question on Punishment? [Re: youngatheart]
      #774252 - 01/14/12 09:52 AM

I wasn't getting zero's at school since I never brought a boom box, walkman or atari to school to deviate my attention from the work I had to do. If the kid gets mutiple zero's then it' pretty much

A: He's a moron
B: His parents suck at parenting
C: It's a combination of both along with him being undisciplined enough to focus on why he's at school


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c_jane
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Re: Question on Punishment? [Re: spinnerdegrassi]
      #774260 - 01/14/12 12:10 PM

The ZERO's are NOT for SCHOOL work -- they're for HOMEWORK either not done OR not turned in. Since Exhole is CP, I guess HE'S the one I should be blaming. HIS parenting must 'SUCK' (which I've always known it does but NEVER ONCE mentioned Exhole in this thing).

NOTICE ALSO that FOTY has NOT even NOTICED anything about DS's ZERO's, never MIND levied a punishment which means either (1) he doesn't care that DS gets zero's, (2) he doesn't care what a SUCKY father he is (Spinner's words), or (3) he doesn't care about DS's education in general. Pick one. OR all 3.

And for all of you that NEVER got ZERO'S in school Goodie for you. I'll be the first to admit I did. Heck in college I FLUNKED Organic Chemistry for NOT doing the work because COLLEGE DORM life was more FUN!! THAT was what it took for me to realize *I* needed to buckle down and do the work.

The CELL PHONE (in school, out of school, in DS's backpack and not being used, etc.) is NOT the problem. NOT turning in HW is the problem. Which is something FOTY SHOULD be dealing with, but ISN'T. SO like usual, I'M having to step up to be the PARENT, since Exhole/SM aren't interested.

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youngatheart
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Re: Question on Punishment? [Re: spinnerdegrassi]
      #774261 - 01/14/12 12:15 PM

Actually, most zeros are from homework not being completed or turned in. So really has nothing to do with listening to music at school.

And there are lots of possible reasons for that. The parents job is to find out what that reason is, and combat it. It may mean punishment to deal with a lazy kid. It may be organizational assistance/training. It may be a tutor. It may be better communication with teachers. Lots of possible reasons that have nothing to do with technology.


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spinnerdegrassi
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Re: Question on Punishment? [Re: youngatheart]
      #774263 - 01/14/12 01:02 PM

Kid is probably texting, listening to music when he should be doing school work. Eh, it's ok, the world needs counter help at Quiznos and he can look forward to a long career in Sandwich making if he likes his zeros.

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Tweeby
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Re: Question on Punishment? [Re: c_jane]
      #774264 - 01/14/12 01:17 PM

We are talking about a HS student here and one that is suppose to be in honor classes? IMO by this age I don't micromanage their classes or homework it is up to them on what they want and it is all their choice of course if they fail or get a low grade than they already know what the conquences are. I remind them from time to time but I don't need to be checking every single assignment.

In younger grades getting zero's on homework I would be working with the student.


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spinnerdegrassi
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Re: Question on Punishment? [Re: Tweeby]
      #774265 - 01/14/12 01:22 PM

That's what's funny. The kid is what...15 now? He can't figure out how to hand in homework? He needs mom and dad to wipe his ass (figuratively) and call up the school to try and weasel out of his bad decision making. I've seen this kind of sh!t even with the college nursing students I've taught during assement and foundations classes. Lazy ass students who don't do the work, then are trying to get their parents to call me to give them a 2nd chance.

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Miranda
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Re: Question on Punishment? [Re: spinnerdegrassi]
      #774268 - 01/14/12 01:26 PM

[quote]That's what's funny. The kid is what...15 now? He can't figure out how to hand in homework? He needs mom and dad to wipe his ass (figuratively) and call up the school to try and weasel out of his bad decision making. I've seen this kind of sh!t even with the college nursing students I've taught during assement and foundations classes. Lazy ass students who don't do the work, then are trying to get their parents to call me to give them a 2nd chance. [/quote]

Yes and I get to deal with these lovely "kidults" when they get to college. You would not believe the excuses I hear...from being in the hospital with kidney stones to being in a sorority and "volunteer/charity work" (A.K.A. getting drunk) taking up too much of their time.

I only have one major paper/assignment/project per 16 week course and they can't even get that done on time. It's ridiculous.

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c_jane
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Re: Question on Punishment? [Re: Tweeby]
      #774269 - 01/14/12 01:27 PM

Since DS has had a total of 62 ASSIGNMENTS to do and got ZERO's on FOUR of them, that is 6.5% ONLY. As I said, his OTHER grades are high enough for him to STILLL get A's/B's as final grades. In Honors courses.

HOWEVER, DS is NOT a ZERO student. Therefore, I'm getting that point across to him the best way I know how. And I DON'T have the ABILITY to check EVERY single assignment since I'M NOT the CP.

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Gecko
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Re: Question on Punishment? [Re: Miranda]
      #774274 - 01/14/12 02:14 PM

Yes and I get to deal with these lovely "kidults" when they get to college. You would not believe the excuses I hear...from being in the hospital with kidney stones to being in a sorority and "volunteer/charity work" (A.K.A. getting drunk) taking up too much of their time.

---> My instructors were always willing to work with students when the NEED arose, but yeah...some of the excuses these 'kids' came up with...it was all about 'entitlement'. Like the kid who got upset with the instructor because he wouldn't arrange for him to take his Final...in Hawaii.

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DedicatedDad
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Re: Question on Punishment? [Re: Gecko]
      #774275 - 01/14/12 02:24 PM

I've posted this before, but it fits here again.

I was late for a meeting where I was the speaker. The crowd was young; most were under 25.

I apologized for being late and said I had poorly managed my time.

I wish a video camera was going. It looked like a bunch of puzzled dogs with their heads suddenly cocked sideways.


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c_jane
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Re: Question on Punishment? [Re: DedicatedDad]
      #774280 - 01/14/12 03:01 PM

ROTFLMAO!! This board reminds me of that game "Gossip". It's gone from wanting SIMPLE opinions on 2 ways DS's punishment could go to his flunking out of college and making sandwiches the rest of his life because of these FOUR zeros. You ppl are a HOOT!! Thanks for the laugh!!

--------------------
John Constantine: God's a kid with an ant farm.... He's not planning anything.


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Gecko
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Re: Question on Punishment? [Re: c_jane]
      #774286 - 01/14/12 05:08 PM

It's gone from wanting SIMPLE opinions ....

---> Bullcatmoneyshit! All you REALLY want is affirmation. As usual, people got sucked in to giving you excellent advise...which you 1) ignored or 2) bashed.

---> And then there is of course, the opportunity for you to bash your ex.

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spinnerdegrassi
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Re: Question on Punishment? [Re: c_jane]
      #774294 - 01/14/12 06:52 PM

[quote]ROTFLMAO!! This board reminds me of that game "Gossip". It's gone from wanting SIMPLE opinions on 2 ways DS's punishment could go to his flunking out of college and making sandwiches the rest of his life because of these FOUR zeros. You ppl are a HOOT!! Thanks for the laugh!! [/quote]

Hey, someone's gotta make those sandwiches. It's more likely going to be the kid who gets zero's than the kid who hands in his homework on time.


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c_jane
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Re: Question on Punishment? [Re: Gecko]
      #774297 - 01/14/12 08:39 PM

[quote]It's gone from wanting SIMPLE opinions ....

---> Bullcatmoneyshit! All you REALLY want is affirmation. As usual, people got sucked in to giving you excellent advise...which you 1) ignored or 2) bashed.

---> And then there is of course, the opportunity for you to bash your ex. [/quote]

Which YOU will notice that *I* did NOT bring up until Spinner said the zero's reflected on parenting. And I TOTALLY agree with that. Unfortunately I am dealing with a complete AZZ who is NOT stepping up to the plate and dealing with DS's zero's like he should. Hence, *I* removed the phone -- WHICH WAS NOT THE PROBLEM but the most surefire and QUICKEST way to get DS's attention.

And it is obviously working. He just came by to tell me he cleaned out his backpack and turned in one of the missing papers (with his teacher's permission). He also talked to one of the OTHER teachers and she dropped the grade entirely. He is also suffering GREATLY w/out his phone since he's with Exhole this weekend and they took a trip out of town and back & he had NOTHING to do but stare out the window the entire 6-hour trip!! <grin>.

And all those SHITZ back to you since ALL I asked in the original post was opinions on whether I should let DS have the phone back if the zero's were taken care of. I DIDN'T ask for how long I should make the punishment (already decided in advance). I DIDN'T even reference the point of taking the phone to school until others started ASSUMING the PHONE was WHY he got the ZEROS (don't know & don't care really). I DIDN'T mention Exhole AT ALL until Spinner pointed out the correlation to parenting, which I knew but didn't think it mattered since *I* was dealing with the problem to MY satisfaction.

A FEW posters ACTUALLY offered input, which I took into consideration, withOUT going off on tangents -- which is totally beyond what MOST of you can do.

--------------------
John Constantine: God's a kid with an ant farm.... He's not planning anything.


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annieo
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Re: Question on Punishment? [Re: c_jane]
      #774307 - 01/14/12 10:34 PM

I am sitting here thinking - WOW - my 10 year old who has ADHD appears to be more capable of turning in his homework better than the 15 year old honors class student and yes my 10 year old has homework all the time, including projects etc... however he is not allowed to take his nintendo ds to school or his bey blades or anything that will distract him from his education AND I do not have to check every thing for him he does it all on his own - MAYBE because he isn't parented in such a way that a punishment can be wiggled out of, or that I am not wishy washy or maybe even that I do not allow the blame (eta: for things he has done or not done) to land anywhere but squarely in his lap....

Edited by annieo (01/14/12 10:35 PM)


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spinnerdegrassi
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Re: Question on Punishment? [Re: annieo]
      #774310 - 01/14/12 10:47 PM

What's funny is how these kids are so impotent without their phones that their lives come crashing down without them. I see it at work. No one is supposed to carry cell phones on the floor, they're to be kept in their lockers. Yet it seems like most of the nurses/techs who are under 25 can't seem to grasp that concept and continue to pull them out during working hours even though it's a blatant hippa violation to do so. I've heard all the excuses..." Oh i need it in case something happens and my kids need to contact me" (yeah cause calling the front desk is impossible?). Mostly it's because they want to check facebook statuses (because our computer system blocks it) or text useless crap all day. Then they wonder why they get written up for it or yelled at for being so blatantly stupid.

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finz
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Re: Question on Punishment? [Re: spinnerdegrassi]
      #774318 - 01/15/12 12:23 AM

CJ,

I understand the reasoning of the "don't decrease the punishment no matter what" crowd.

Maybe I am too soft, because I would consider it (this time) to encourage him to get the make up work done. My concern specific to your case is that I think the "one day" per zero was too short. If it had been 1 week per zero, with doing the make up he could get it down to 2 weeks. I think going down to 2 days is just too short.....especially if the punishment started over this weekend when he could just facebook his friends instead of texting and play video games instead of playing games on his phone.

I think you screwed yourself out of any chance for leniency with shortening the time because the time/punishment wasn't tough enough to begin with.

Live and learn.


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Gecko
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Re: Question on Punishment? [Re: c_jane]
      #774375 - 01/15/12 02:02 PM

It's real simple...the punishment should stand and he should NOT be allowed to make up the points.

At 15, he needs to start understanding that in REAL LIFE, you don't get 'make up work'. Instead, you lose your job to the person who does their work in a timely manner.

And yes, discussions often diverge...you've been here long enough that you know that so what exactly is the issue? You have the choice to respond or not.

--------------------
If you air your dirty linen in public, expect people to comment on the skid marks!


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DedicatedDad
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Re: Question on Punishment? [Re: Gecko]
      #774385 - 01/15/12 03:12 PM

I'm always open to negotiation, but it would have to be initiated by the child.

One thing I would never do is to call their teacher and make demands or negotiate with them.

That's up to the child.


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c_jane
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Re: Question on Punishment? [Re: DedicatedDad]
      #774393 - 01/15/12 04:07 PM

I DID NOT contact any teacher. DS said he did. However I haven't seen the results yet online so I still have the phone.

--------------------
John Constantine: God's a kid with an ant farm.... He's not planning anything.


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Loretta
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Re: Question on Punishment? [Re: c_jane]
      #774395 - 01/15/12 04:20 PM

I like that your son asked if he could make it up, and talked to the teachers himself. I agree with the poster that said the initial time was too short. I hate when people try to act superior. You know what works for your child. Each kid is different and responds to different things. Sounds like this worked for him. Now if I were the teacher I don't know if I'd let him make it up or not. All my kids' teachers had them sign their policies at the beginning of the school year. Some offered reduced grades some said absolutely not.

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Gecko
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Re: Question on Punishment? [Re: Loretta]
      #774402 - 01/15/12 06:42 PM

Some offered reduced grades some said absolutely not.

---> One of our instructors offered reduced grades up to 40% off (10% per day), but he had to quit doing that because some students would consistently turn in their work late because they could still get a grade for it.

---> But the general policy for all the instructors...talk to them...and talk to them BEFORE the work is due. I never had a single instructor who didn't full-credit if there wasn't a valid reason.

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Sherron
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Re: Question on Punishment? [Re: Gecko]
      #774404 - 01/15/12 07:02 PM

"---> But the general policy for all the instructors...talk to them...and talk to them BEFORE the work is due. I never had a single instructor who didn't full-credit if there wasn't a valid reason."

So... you can get 'make up work' later on in life... ;)


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Loretta
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Re: Question on Punishment? [Re: Sherron]
      #774405 - 01/15/12 07:26 PM

He's 15. Sounds like he's learned a lesson. Maybe a bigger lesson was that he had courage and ambition to try to make something he did wrong right???? My kids made a lot of mistakes, them owning up to them was hard, but they did. I'm pretty sure this will not lead to flipping burgers or prison.

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c_jane
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Re: Question on Punishment? [Re: Loretta]
      #774417 - 01/16/12 12:02 AM

[quote]He's 15. Sounds like he's learned a lesson. Maybe a bigger lesson was that he had courage and ambition to try to make something he did wrong right???? My kids made a lot of mistakes, them owning up to them was hard, but they did. I'm pretty sure this will not lead to flipping burgers or prison. [/quote]

Actually he's 14 for 3 More months & I don't think his entire life's in the toilet now either <grin>.

--------------------
John Constantine: God's a kid with an ant farm.... He's not planning anything.


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Redlegg
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Re: Question on Punishment? [Re: c_jane]
      #774456 - 01/16/12 06:04 AM

So, it's not going on his permanent record?

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c_jane
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Re: Question on Punishment? [Re: Redlegg]
      #774509 - 01/16/12 11:13 AM

BWAHAHAHAHA!! Thanks for the laugh!

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John Constantine: God's a kid with an ant farm.... He's not planning anything.


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BeckaLeigh
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Re: Question on Punishment? [Re: c_jane]
      #774697 - 01/17/12 11:07 PM

You may be NCP, but there is still a P in there, which means you are a parent. This isn't all your X's problem. Everything this kid does is either someone else's fault or he has no consequences, to me, one day of cell phone loss = no punishment. You nor your DS are ever responsible for anything that goes wrong.

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I tried being normal once. Worst five minutes of my life.


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spinnerdegrassi
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Re: Question on Punishment? [Re: BeckaLeigh]
      #774702 - 01/18/12 12:52 AM

We have a name where I live for those type of kids when they grow up.....unemployed.

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Sherron
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Re: Question on Punishment? [Re: spinnerdegrassi]
      #774731 - 01/18/12 08:21 AM

"to me, one day of cell phone loss = no punishment. "
The kid took the initiative to make arrangements with his teachers to turn the work in, sounds like it's working since it's motivating him to do what he needs to.


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BeckaLeigh
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Re: Question on Punishment? [Re: Sherron]
      #774739 - 01/18/12 09:43 AM

I am going to refrain from commenting anymore on this one. She feels justified in how she has dealt with it and that's all that counts, I guess.

--------------------
I tried being normal once. Worst five minutes of my life.

Edited by BeckaLeigh (01/18/12 09:44 AM)


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Sherron
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Re: Question on Punishment? [Re: BeckaLeigh]
      #774745 - 01/18/12 10:06 AM

"I am going to refrain from commenting anymore on this one. She feels justified in how she has dealt with it and that's all that counts, I guess."

What counts is that it's working, no? The kid took initiative to correct his screw up, what other outcome do you want.


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LeAnne
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Re: Question on Punishment? [Re: BeckaLeigh]
      #774747 - 01/18/12 10:12 AM

As long as he does not do it again...only time will tell?

Will a kid remember one day without a cell? Probably for a little bit.
Will a kid remember being without a cell for a month? Probably the rest of his life.

I guess it depends on how many times you have to deal with the same issue?
Being a single parent I didn't have time to deal with repeat offenses. When I punished I always believed in come big or don't come at all.

--------------------
Empty Nesting


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BeckaLeigh
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Re: Question on Punishment? [Re: LeAnne]
      #774772 - 01/18/12 03:04 PM

In CJ's case, whatever works is good for her. I am glad this worked out in her favor, I just don't believe in going lightly in punishment that resulted from pure laziness on my child's part. She didn't ask for opinions on the punishment, actually made it quite clear that she doesn't want them, which is why I deleted my last post.

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I tried being normal once. Worst five minutes of my life.


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