parentingqs
recently joined
Reged: 10/11/11
Posts: 23
|
|
Not sure the best forum to get an answer on this but reposting here just in case:
SO here's my story. I have a 3 year old daughter, was never married to the father. Father confirmed his paternity and is listed in the birth ccertificate and pays child support most months though he's skipped a few payments (after 2 years of dodging it all together). Other than that he has no custody or visitation rights because in my state if the unwed father doesn't petition for custody then he doesn't have any. It has been several months since Father has spent time with Daughter (his choice not mine), the last time they saw each other she stayed with him for a few weeks. Well I just found that he has a profile on adultfriendfinder.com in which he is looking to engage in casual sex and swinger type activities, problem I have is that this profile was created during the time that Daughter was staying with him. At the time he lived in a small 1 bedroom apartment and had her bed in his room. He also had claimed that he had been unable to find a babysitter during this time. So needless to say I am extremely concerned that he had people of questionable backgrounds that he found on the internet for a hook up around my daughter, and that he also may have been hosting swinger parties while she was staying in his apartment with very limited privacy. If this occured while she was in the apartment then I don't want her staying overnight with him anymore, however if he only recently started engaging in these activities then I'm fine with it as long as he doesn't bring it around her. Problem being there's no way he's going to tell me the truth about the situation (I've caught him in many lies involving his treatment of our daughter).
My question is, if I were to create a fake profile on this site and use it to ask him when he starting hosting swinger parties and how long he's actually been meeting people off the site, and it turns out this stuff was going on in front of our daughter, could I use those emails in a court case?
I just want to find out for sure that she is safe in his home, and be able to take the appropriate steps if she isn't.
|
buckwheat
journeyman
Reged: 10/09/11
Posts: 86
|
|
I think you need to leave this alone. Surely he is father enough to know not to bring these types of people around his kid. Now that being said you might be suprized the people that engage in this activity, so I dont get where them just being there is a problem either. Only if he is engaging in this activity around your daughter.
Im sorry I dont think you have any right to determine who your childs father is friends with, and just because he got on the site while she was there doesnt mean hes doing anything in front of the child.
I think you are just setting yourself up for unnecesary drama, by spying and I dont think that doing a fake profile would help you in court, If my ex had tryed something like that all I would do is have my lawyer get her for lying about who she was, and why was she on there in the first place. Thats an instant credibility killer, in fact in my divorce I used something of that nature that just destroyed some things she tryed to put on the table.
I think if this bugs you, then just tell him that someone said you are on a swinger sex site, I just want to make sure that you know that I think having that kind of activity around my daughter is innapropriate.
You do what you got to do, and good luck
|
parentingqs
recently joined
Reged: 10/11/11
Posts: 23
|
|
Yeah, but he isn't father enough to make good choices sometimes. One time he left her in the care of a girl off of one of these sites that he had only met in person once, so that he could travel out of state for a weekend to hook up with another girl from an online site. I don't care who he's friends with or what goes on behind closed doors. I do however have a right to know who is watching my daughter, and if these orgies go on while she could potentially wake up and see a room full of people screwing. Anyway, as I said in the other forum, if you think posting an ad on the Internet asking people you don't know to come to your house and bang while you have no privacy from your children and nobody else they can stay with, isn't a cause for concern, then God help your kids.
|
buckwheat
journeyman
Reged: 10/09/11
Posts: 86
|
|
I dont have those problems with my kids parenting, so I have no comment on your comment.
I would address this directly with him, like i said, so he knows where you stand on this, hopefuly that will send the message that you wont tolerate it.
|
Eve
member
Reged: 11/28/05
Posts: 112
|
|
Parentingqs........I really don't get this. You say you, "have caught him in many lies involving his treatment of your daughter." And you also say he left your daughter with a virtual stranger for a weekend? And you still let your daughter go on overnights with him? And he really has no rights of visitation because he has not petitioned for any! Why would you leave a three year old with a man that clearly feels meeting a strange woman for sex is more important than his daughter??? That is the bigger question.
Edited by Eve (01/19/12 03:40 PM)
|
Previous
Index
Next
Threaded
Edit
Reply
Quote
