Tones
recently joined
Reged: 10/24/11
Posts: 14
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Long story short over the past several months my children and I have been experiencing serious verbal and emotional abuse. I filed for divorce but didn't let my wife know due to the fact that last time we discussed it she flipped out and started threatening to take the kids, quit her job and running. Granted she has used divorce as a threat multiple times over the past several months.
So one day we got into an argument. She left home around noon and came back at 1:30am. I didn't know where she went but had been in contact all day with her father. I went to bed and she engaged in an argument. I put earplugs in my ear (I work shift work) and rolled over. She then attacked me and beat me with a landline phone multiple times in front of my 4 year old whom was sleeping with us. My wife actually called the police and asked for me to be picked up. Then she admitted to everything.
So the next morning I took my children down to get an emergency protective order. I received it and my wife was served the same day with both that an the divorce papers.
So I go to the hearing with my attorney and the judge looks at both attorneys and suggests they work something out since the divorce hearing is in two weeks. I was insulted but my attorney was adimant. So they worked out a deal to let me keep the house and 50/50 with the kids. My attorney was blaming me for being unreasonable since the week before the hearing I suggested supervised visitation as opposed to letting her keep them overnight. I was afraid she was not stable and she has a history of talking bad about me to them...and thought that was the whole point of the order.
I then requested a police escort for my wife and her attorney laughed at me. My attorney made the deal and ran out of the courthouse and I had nothing on paper but a court order saying the papers would be served to me.
So after I got home my wife her sister, friend and godfather shows up. My wife ran straight upstairs to my 4 year old and sister and started crying and started saying bad things to them. Telling my daughter that daddy broke his promises, doesn't love her and even had the nerve to accuse me of looking at [censored] to my sister in front of my daughter. She then went on to show the bruise she received on her leg from the door when I was trying to get away from her during the domestic. At this point I thought she was packing but she was just spending time upstairs trashing me. She wouldn't proceed to get her things and was very confrontational so I was forced to contact the police. They showed up and she still wouldn't leave. Eventually the police made her leave. Even her godfather couldn't get her to go. The only way she left was due to me having pressed domestic charges against her she was not supposed to be contacting me.
I am completely insulted at the way the court and attorneys handled this. Someone could have gotten seriously injured and I fill that the seriousness of my domestic violence was not handled with respect to the crime. Even now she is not sticking to our agreement with the exchanges of the children and she is poisoning the children's minds about me.
I am looking for opinions on why the attorney may have handled it this way and what I can now do about it.
Is there a reason they would be taking this so lightly? My attorney for the hearing is the daughter of the attorney I am using for the divorce. My divorce lawyer is highly recommended but her daughter is young.
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yregna
veteran
Reged: 07/25/06
Posts: 1265
Loc: Oregon
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Look down, if you see a penis, there is your answer.
Women get men in trouble for domestic. If you are a man, you have to take the beatings and everything else if you ever want to see your kids. And in the end, you'll pay $$ anyway. Hope I cleared that up for you.
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"Anything free is worth what you pay for it..."
"Climate is what we expect, weather is what we get"
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Tones
recently joined
Reged: 10/24/11
Posts: 14
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[quote]Look down, if you see a penis, there is your answer.
Women get men in trouble for domestic. If you are a man, you have to take the beatings and everything else if you ever want to see your kids. And in the end, you'll pay $$ anyway. Hope I cleared that up for you. [/quote]
OK... does anyone have a helpful answer? It's this line of thinking that keeps things from evolving.
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KDogg
journeyman
Reged: 01/02/05
Posts: 96
Loc: West Virginia
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1) Fire the young attorney but keep the older one if she's actually helping. If not, fire her too. If you feel they didn't represent you appropriately, you can file a complaint with the lawyer disciplinary board of your state.
2) You already have several points in your favor. She immediately violated the court's order of no contact and you had to have the police remove her, and she's not abiding by the agreement already in place. You also have several witnesses, take them with you to the next hearing. If they refuse, subpoena them.
3) Get used to the fact that your ex will always badmouth you to the kids. That alone won't be enough to convince a judge for full custody and the ex supervised visitation, but the fact that she attacked you with the phone in bed with the child right there might be. That shows she had no concern for the kid, as she could've hit him/her as well, accidentally or not. Push the issue of physical violence as hard as you can.
4) Document EVERYTHING! Date, time, and details. Whenever something happens, write it down immediately or as soon as possible so that no tidbit of information is lost. That way, if something comes into question at the hearing, you can detail exactly what happens. Also, since police were involved, get copies of their reports, even if they are nothing more than a note saying they were there. The more evidence you have, the better.
5) Record as much as possible. If she calls (or for some reason you call her), record it. If she shows up and you have a conversation, record that too. That way, if you read something from your notes and she refutes it, whip out the recorder and play it back for all to hear. This would especially be handy if she's still threatening to take the kids and run. If the judge hears that chances are she'd be strapped with supervised visitation due to being a flight risk.
Hope this helps...
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KDogg
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