LexieBelle
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 11/07/10
Posts: 3680
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But what he has or hasn't done CAN make a difference in a move case.
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SRS
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 11/05/10
Posts: 2161
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How about ever having been to a doctor or dentist appointment? No parent-teacher conferences? Missing First Communion - even though he lived 4 miles away at the time.
Plus, living 65 miles away.
I've got almost 6 years of this documentation.
Edited by SRS (01/25/12 12:12 PM)
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LexieBelle
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 11/07/10
Posts: 3680
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I'd say anything and everything is fuel for the proverbial fire.
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Runswithscissors
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 05/29/04
Posts: 13381
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My current husband doesn't do that... and he's a great dad.. so your point is??
My ex as the custodial did NEVER did any of those... so in our move away (him moving) it did impact him because I was seeking full custody because he did not follow procedures for our state (as Maury indicated in his post).
Again, my suggestion is to follow the orders for your state OR your orders according to your papers... if you have to notify him, you do so...and let the chips falls where they may. I am not against the move, but I am against you not doing it the correct way... and in doing so, again.. you may be expected to pay for travel, etc.
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Runswithscissors
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 05/29/04
Posts: 13381
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No it doesn't.... she will be allowed to move.. I'm not saying that.. but she will have to have a plan in place such as visitation.. she may lose her summers with him and she may have to pay for 1/2 travel, etc. But, if she doesn't follow the orders... she could lose custody... just ask my ex.. LOL!
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elliesmom
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 11/07/05
Posts: 8835
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My first thought/recommendation is find out what your decree says and what your state law/policy is on the topic of moveaways. And go from there. Develop a plan for what visits will be like, how transport will be handled etc.
Unless your state has extremely strict move away laws - I am guessing in the end you will be permitted to move your kids. Being behind on CS, not taking visits etc are usually going to put him in a bad place with a judge if it comes to that. The thing that I would be worried about is getting stuck with the transportation.
The other thing - I would be concerned about being that far away from my kids while they are with a flake. What if he gets tired of it and wants to drop them off at your place (as I believe he has done in the past???) and now he can't because you live 5 hours away. Being forced to keep them might bring out an ugly side of him that is not good for your kids.
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Forgiveness is...letting go of the hope that the past can be changed.
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LexieBelle
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 11/07/10
Posts: 3680
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Oh, absolutely! I wouldn't suggest she just up and move! Sorry, didn't mean it to come across that way if I did. I assumed that was assumed, lol.
Absolutely she will have to find out what her state "law" or guidelines are on moves.. and what her decree says.
I'd definitely agree that she should be prepared to do all transportation or to pay for all (however they do it) but I will say... for all everyone talks about how the moving parent is nearly always 100% responsible.. in my experience now as a moved parent, and going on a year using the ferry and meeting all these families doing long distance.. only myself and one other mother are doing 100% and even that, her ex does what mine does now, meets us at the ferry, so I do 3 1/2 hours round trip, he does 2 hours round trip, 4 days a month and I obviously pay mine and dd's passage on the ferry, roughly $180 a month. Anyway, all the other families, one parent brings over, the other parent brings back. Like I mentioned earlier it's been very educational becoming with BOTH sides of the equation (daughters, similar ages.. dd has a travel buddy).
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SRS
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 11/05/10
Posts: 2161
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I have just starting the planning process. I need to sell my house, find a job, save up money for private school, and a bunch of assorted other things before we could even consider it. I am no where near actually doing it at this point. It will take me a year to do a good solid move.
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LexieBelle
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 11/07/10
Posts: 3680
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I'm sure you'll be very thorough and make it smooth :)
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Debi
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/03/05
Posts: 7139
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In my state anything over 100 miles (within the state) would require the NCP to be on board. You'd have to notify him, I believe it's 60 days prior to the move to give him time to respond.
I would say that coming up with a long distance parenting plan beforehand would be a good place to start. he might never use it but at least it will show that you've thought it through.
Sometimes a move is best for the kids, sometimes it's not. Only you know if it's worth it for your family but I don't think his moves really have a bearing on what you will or won't be allowed to do.
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When we were together, you said you'd die for me. Now, I think it's time you kept your promise.
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