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haventstartedyet
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Divorced...update....children Xmas visit w/ X.
      #773460 - 01/09/12 11:53 AM

I don't know how to shorten this, but I'll try. I agreed to meet X at a 1/2 way point so he could take the children back to his home. This is a 10 hour drive total for me and the same for the X. I have to rent a car when I do this because my 18 yr. old car is unreliable & can't be taken on long trips for fear of breaking down. I am a full-time student & I don't currently work.

Before the visit, I had spoken to X in length about his new living situation. He is no longer in base housing and lives in a house about 20 minutes from the base. In speaking with him, he completely lied to me so that I wouldn't give him any issues with visiting with the children. When I asked him who lived in the house with him, he told me a guy friend lived there. When I pressed him further, I found out he has a gf and her son living there as well. The son is 16 yrs. old. Per our divorce decree, it is clearly stated that we are not to have any adult of the opposite sex(gf or bf)unrelated staying overnight in the home while the children are there. He assured me that the gf and her son were not going to be staying overnight when the children were there. Fast forward...I pick up the children at the 1/2way point and come to find out, the gf and son did spend every single night there....and the gf stayed in the same room with X every night. Obviously X blatantly lied and went against the divorce decree.

Here are my 2 issues: First, I want to know what I can do since obviously X is lieing and went against the divorce decree. Secondly, since I am not working and I can not afford to rent a car every time the children will visit with X...do i have a leg to stand on to get this part of the divorce decree changed? I would like for him to have to pick up the girls and bring them back. I will gladly go to court to do what I need to do.


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Renny
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Re: Divorced...update....children Xmas visit w/ X. [Re: haventstartedyet]
      #773490 - 01/09/12 04:08 PM

Briefly, imo, even if you can prove the gf is spending the night (your son could testify), the judge will probably just warn your ex to abide by the CO. Your son is old enough to have input in any modification of custody decisions and he might actually prefer living with your ex. In sum, given the age of your son and the expense and difficulty of proving the overnights and the likely result, I would let it go.

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elliesmom
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Re: Divorced...update....children Xmas visit w/ X. [Re: Renny]
      #773493 - 01/09/12 04:48 PM

A judge very well could just remove the requirement about overnights. You won't get much traction with this unless this woman is dangerous. Generally judges don't like to police morality.

If memory serves you moved back home? You should be grateful you only have to make half the trip. Usually the person who moves must do all the travel.

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Forgiveness is...letting go of the hope that the past can be changed.


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annieo
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Re: Divorced...update....children Xmas visit w/ X. [Re: elliesmom]
      #773546 - 01/09/12 11:18 PM

you could drive one way and the ex the other you take them all the way and he then he returns them all the way - it is highly unlikely you would be successful in having him do all the transport given you moved and in most cases the ONE who MOVES provides ALL transport.

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Miranda
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Re: Divorced...update....children Xmas visit w/ X. [Re: haventstartedyet]
      #773676 - 01/10/12 04:07 PM

Not wokring with children is really not an option for you. How are you living? You will be expected to contribture towards your children's expenses.

You will have a hard time enforcing the morality portion of your decree. How often are your kids even going there?

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13.1...because I am only half crazy!


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haventstartedyet
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Re: Divorced...update....children Xmas visit w/ X. [Re: Miranda]
      #775628 - 01/26/12 01:41 PM

Thx for the comments.

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