Buck
recently joined
Reged: 02/06/12
Posts: 1
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I was 42 when I brought a 22 year old mail order bride to the US on a fiancee visa. I am now 55, she 36. She came here with nothing, no English, and no education past high school. We now have healthy 10 year-old twins, and she just graduated from college with an Accounting degree that I mostly paid for. She has a $15K student loan that I am willing to pay off. The remainder (approx $23) was paid by me. She does not have a job (yet). She worked may 10 hrs/week PT while pursuing her degree.
I owned the house that we live in prior to her coming here, and it is now fully paid for. I have been at the same company for 29 years. I am eligible for full retirement in 3 years, and can take a reduced early retirement this year. Most of my financial assets are held in trust, with my kids named as heir. We have only had a joint checking account for about a year.
My wife wants a divorce. There are no particular reasons other than she wants out of the marriage, and is bitter that I have not made her a co-owner of the house. There are no issues such as substance abuse, infidelity, health, lifestyle or criminal activities on either of our parts. We are both involved parents and I don't think either of us wants to tear the kids away from the other. Now that she has her college degree and citizenship, I think I have served my purpose and she no longer needs me.
We have a prenup, where she signed away any claims to my assets due to our age differences and relative economic status. Not sure how a judge will view that. But I did have it translated to her native language by a certified translator, and paid for a lawyer for her to consult prior to marrying me. So she cannot claim ignorance or coercion when she signed.
I want to save my marriage and family, and have offered to adjust the terms of my estate planning, and perhaps make her the trustee and possibly the heir of my assets. It may be too late.
Can someone tell me what a reasonable outcome to expect is, in terms of both custody and settlement?
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Gecko
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/01/04
Posts: 19803
Loc: Third rock from the sun
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I have to say it...1) there is no fool like an old who compounds stupidity with idiocy; and 2) you get what you pay for.
At least you were smart enough to not only protect ass(ets) with a pre-nup, but you went the added distance of a translator and legal counsel for her. Unless the Judge is a total asswipe, it is doubtful that the per-nup will be set aside.
Yes...you have 'served your purpose'...and you will continue to do so for the next 11 years (if not more).
Now that I have that off my chest.....
Alimony - 14-year marriage, no work history, housewife/SAHM; even with a recent 4-year Degree you've looking at approximately 7 years of writing her a check every month.
Child Support - Do not count on just paying for the next 8 years; depending where you live, child support can go to 19 and even 21. Also, many states have provisions for the continuation of child support...to age 21...as long as the 'child' is in school.
Parenting Time - Be prepared, regardless of what she is currently saying or what you think you know about her...to only see your children EOW (every other weekend).
Marital Distribution - Housewife/SAHM...you're going to get stuck with all the debt. Even though you were smart enough to get a pre-nup, she will still get at least 50% of whatever ya'll accumulated during the marriage.
The above...worse-case, but not outside the realm of possibility.
As for saving your marriage...you do NOT do that by opening your wallet and/or jeopardizing your children's futures. This woman has already taken you for a 14-year ride...what do you think is going to happen if you give her access or control of your assets? It won't take her 14-years to clean you out...she can do it in a couple of hours and disappear.
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If you air your dirty linen in public, expect people to comment on the skid marks!
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Renny
addict
Reged: 09/24/11
Posts: 479
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Fortunately you have what seems an air-tight prenup.
Gecko has given you the worst case scenario for alimony, child support, division of assets and liabilities, and parenting time, which is good to keep in mind.
I must concur that it would be very unwise to "to adjust the terms of my estate planning, and perhaps make her the trustee and possibly the heir of my assets"/quote. Don't even think of it.
At 55 you still have a long life ahead of you. My advice is to put this marriage behind you as best you can and move on. Be thankful you have the twins.
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hanzblinx
enthusiast
Reged: 08/13/10
Posts: 380
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put her back in the box and return her to the sender. Or list her on ebay.
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Maury
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/02/04
Posts: 8146
Loc: This Asylum --->
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Imagine - that relationship didn't work. What a surprise.
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