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this is why fathers walk away
      #702819 - 10/31/10 01:12 PM

I have been divorced for almost 2 years now and I have already been to court 5 times with and without attorneys , and getting ready for number 6. 2 weeks ago at our last court appearance the judge granted me co parenting classes because I do not know what else to do. My ex wife does not know how to co-parent because she just got remarried and wants her husband raising our children. 2 weeks ago we were also there because she has totally disobeyed a court order from July and the judge did nothing !!. What is so frustrating is that I also asked for more parenting time and I was denied. I only see our children on Wednesday evenings from 4-8 and every other weekends. The judge said I signed an order for parenting time 10 months ago and he is not changing it, due to the fact that there is no change in circumstances. He also said I violated our parenting order because this was a parenting issue and I did not go to mediation first which is in our decree.
In the last 10 months my ex wife has gotten engaged and married and poisoned the children even more. My 12yr old has referred to my ex and her husband as his parents on a few occasions and has asked me if he can change his last name. I would think that all of this would be a change in circumstances but the judge didn't want to hear it. We have been to mediation 7 times and I usually walk out because my ex tells the mediator its her way or the highway, so I leave. I have spent 50k on 2 attorneys and that is not an option anymore because my ex doesn't even listen to the judge. She is already in contempt of 7 more issues from July and it becomes very frustrating that the judge does nothing but deny the biological father more time with his children . Here is a biological father that wants more time with his kids and a judge says no. What am i to do now ?

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Re: this is why fathers walk away [Re: msycle]
      #703891 - 11/05/10 12:47 AM

Actually, real fathers don't walk away. They take action where it is appropriate.

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Re: this is why fathers walk away [Re: Maury]
      #706668 - 11/15/10 08:15 PM


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Re: this is why fathers walk away [Re: MrsB]
      #707424 - 11/17/10 06:29 PM

WOW, I say you still keep fighting. I'd give my eye teeth if my ex wanted to spend any time with our twins. In a million years, I never thought he would walk away. He probably sees them 5 or 6 times a year. He's missed out on so much. I've left the doors open for him to see them when he's sober any time he wants to. Very sad, but I admire you for trying to still see your kids.

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Re: this is why fathers walk away [Re: msycle]
      #708900 - 11/23/10 01:28 PM

How wonderful to hear a father wanting to spend more time with his kids! Whats up with the new husband, does he think this is ok? Is there a good relationship between you and your ex? You would think your ex would just let you see the kids whenever you want, dont need a court order for that.In my case my ex is selfish more worried about his social agenda, his girlfriend and her kids. He spends very little time with our kids. There is no stipulation in my divorce degree with times, days or anything he is free to see them whenever....if he wanted to

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Re: this is why fathers walk away [Re: Kar1958]
      #708949 - 11/23/10 07:39 PM

If you are not positive that you have an attorney that deals with custody issues ALL THE TIME and is excellent at what he does, you may as well represent yourself and speak from your heart.

Maybe you should make an appointment with the mediator......alone. They will probably want to see your ex, so fine. And then just tell them exactly how you feel: YOU are the children's dad.....YOU want to see them and parent them, YOU want to be a hands on dad......ask what you have to do to do this and ask WHY the judge is denying you this right.

Do not say anything bad about your ex..........this is not about her right now.....It is about a dad that wants and should be able to see and spend a significant amount of time with his children.

And ask that question: I am their father, and a very good one.....why can I not see them more? Why is the court making me see my children like I am a distant uncle?" Ask and demand (politely) an answer.

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Re: this is why fathers walk away [Re: Eve]
      #710925 - 12/03/10 05:02 AM

I feel you men. I am goin thru the same thing but I can never walk away from my boy so hang in there it pays off in the end.
Judge said "don't take your son around your boyfriend" I have video of my son in her boy friends house, the judge did nothing. The whole thing is like a movie to me.

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Re: this is why fathers walk away [Re: msycle]
      #738394 - 03/28/11 10:40 AM

The divorce that my X filed (irreconcilable differences/unsupportable) was like an atomic bomb going off. At the conclusion of the divorce I was granted 45/55 custody as I had demonstrated that I was a great father and I had done nothing other than "you don't make me feel loved or appreciated enough". After everything was legally settled and all of the damage she created in my and little son's (2 years old at that time) life had been irrevocably done and finalized. 2 weeks after our divorce (that I did not want) was finalizes, she dismissed her current lawyer and then hired another lawyer and together those 2 filed perjured paperwork to amend my visitation saying that I was a drug addict, that I was an alcoholic, that I frequently beat people up and that I had emotional problems. I spent all of my savings about $70k fighting her in court trying to keep the custody I was granted and all that I got from that process was a lesson; when it comes to family court in South Texas (Hidalgo County), whomever has more $$ will win (she is a physician), whomever has corrupt connections and can buy favors will win, you can lie and get away with it. My son and I never asked to not see each other everyday, to go to sleep and wake up everyday in 1 blessed home under 1 blessed roof, his Mom asked for that and yet she has much more time with him than I do. Why does a loving and responsible father have to lose time with his child when his X wife decides she no longer loves him? I don't understand how our system can justify that? I lost my job at a large pharmaceutical [censored] in a 50% ATS downsizing, I had to short-sell the small home that I bought for my son and I after the X kept the home that I built for our retirement and for our son to own as an adult. I sold my cars to keep the little house going for and long as I could (mistake). I had to settle forstandard visitation as I could no longer fight in court due to my savings being exhausted. Except for my son, I wish that I had never met that woman. But truthfully, my son is the greatest gift I have ever been given so I guess it is all worthwhile. My son is the joy in my heart and God gave him to me. Thank you father. Code:

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Re: this is why fathers walk away [Re: Loving_Father]
      #779019 - 03/05/12 02:15 PM

Don't give up. Represent yourself. Don't ever walk out of a mediation. Learn to control your temper should be the first step. Follow the order to a T. Do all the basics and do them right. Show up 5 min early to pick up the kids, go to all school events, don't argue with the ex, take detailed notes, read all the divorce books you can. Keep trying. You will not be able to live with yourself if you give up on your son. Again, rep. yourself, it's free and when you are right, and have no dirt on you it won't matter how much she spends on a lawyer.

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