alien_metal
recently joined
Reged: 12/18/07
Posts: 6
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Hello. My divorce decree says that my x and myself split the cost of tuition for our son. I work at a college and as a benefit of working here, any family member can come here for FREE.... That was his plan until about a month ago he decided to go to a college where the total tuition for what hes wanting to do is going to cost a total of $100K.. So according to the divorce papers half of that would be $50k since it say i have to pay half.... their has to be a REASONABLE way to settle this... i dont have $50K and i know she doesnt either... if i dont pay, guess that would put me in contempt... how can i reasonably handle this without her egging him to go to a very expensive college when im living check to check as well as she???? what are my options??? 
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Annie7676
old hand
Reged: 06/05/05
Posts: 862
Loc: NY
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Wow thats a huge tuition, is that for all 4 yrs or just one?
My X put in the divorce agreement that he would only pay half a state tuition which was about 2500 at the time. Fortunately son got scholarships which helped since I paid 3/4 of the tuition for the yrs.
Loans, I guess.
I hope for that price of the school that he is taking a major that he will get a job in. I see many of my coworkers who pay alot of money and the kids are majoring in majors that will very hard to get a job. If thats the case, maybe you can have him look at other schools?
The first two years are primarily basic courses, would he change his mind and then transfer to his dream school.
Lastly is he a good student? If he is a great student and will hopefully get good grades then it might be worth it.
But going into so much debt when one can't afford it and in a major where the job market looks bleak seems pretty dismal.
Good luck.
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Renny
addict
Reged: 09/24/11
Posts: 479
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Bear in mind that if neither of you can pay college tuition, neither of you have to pay anything. The only difficulty is where one parent can afford half the tuition and the other cant. But even then, an argument can be made that scholarships and grants are denied because of the higher earning parent and the lower income parent shouldn't be penalized,
With tuition running to over 50k ayear in many out of dstate schools, it is folly to leave out a cap on what the parents will pay or specify in state tuition full time.
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alien_metal
recently joined
Reged: 12/18/07
Posts: 6
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yes, it isnt fair that if one can pay the tuition and the other is barely making ends meet with two other childrens college to think about... i live in MS and i think i read it is common for that to be added into the decree, but sending one kid to college when they have 2 more to send and loosing my house over it isnt going to be good for anyone.... ever chance my x has had, she has hit me in the pocket book and i think thats why shes pushing this on my son....
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Annie7676
old hand
Reged: 06/05/05
Posts: 862
Loc: NY
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I am sorry to hear that, if your X is egging him on "just" to hit you in the pocketbook, its mean and spiteful.
I dont have any experience in this. Does this mean you go back to court and have to try and get the original decree changed? You have two other children with your X and that statement is in the decree to mean them also? Thats insane.
Its sad because as you said he could go to college for limited or free tuition but to urge him to go to a high end school just to get you back is disgusting.
At some point the best avenue for your son would get lost. Whats best for him? Sure if your son is a great student, totally focused on a career goal and will work hard in school, then thats one thing but if thats not the case, wow.
As I said I don't know what the rules are here but maybe seeking legal advice on what you have to do to make this more fair, especially if you have two other children coming up behind him.
Good luck.
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Renny
addict
Reged: 09/24/11
Posts: 479
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The age of majority in ms is 21. That means most college expenses are child support and can be modified. Good news for the op.
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