unknownfuture
recently joined
Reged: 03/18/12
Posts: 2
Loc: Michigan
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During the entire time of my divorce, I was seeing another woman. My marriage (which was uncontested) was an understanding of the love and connection that wasn't there. During this time, lets call her Lynn, she has called my ex wife every possible name in the book - "child killer, money [censored], the "c" word, and so many more things. I've always said it was jealously. My ex received the house (new home) and receives monthly child support, taking care of our daughters (1 with special needs) and so she doesn't work. I'm ok with that - but Lynn, everytime its possible, she is wanting to make sure I never speak to her, asks why i don't tell my ex to "FO", to the point where my ex needed to get the utilities in her name, when the divorce was final, so I didn't push that - i thought that was not a big deal - yet Lynn thought I was "taking care of my ex". So, long story short - Lynn and I are no longer together. So, here is my question for everyone: did I do something wrong by not demanding the utilities (cable, dte, etc.) to be put in her name immediately or I would shut them off (affecting my girls)? Am I wrong to say I will take my girls any day of the week? Am I wrong by being civil with my ex? My ex and I are done - there is no getting back together. So, please give me your insight? I thought I was being understanding and supportive, and Lynn has now called me and my ex every name in the book. Do I look at her and consider her insecure with major issues or is it me?
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BeachBabeRN
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 01/16/06
Posts: 3049
Loc: VA for 21 years, NC forever!
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Definitely her.
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MrsB
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 07/03/10
Posts: 6355
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You sound like a decent man and a great dad. Lynn is the one with the problem. Not you.
Some people would rather their significant other hate and resent their ex rather than get along. I truly don't that thought process. It's simply jealousy and insecurity.
You keep doing what you're doing and someone who appreciates that will come along some day and it'll be well worth the wait.
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Sampoe
enthusiast
Reged: 01/27/11
Posts: 325
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Please take what this 'MrsB' advice with a grain of salt. She is the TROLL of this board. She steel's children from their Bio Moms and then when divorced, she keeps the kid from the Bio Dad. She is a known TROLL...Keep away from her.
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Maury
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/02/04
Posts: 8146
Loc: This Asylum --->
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MrsB's advice is sound - as compared wiht Sampoe, whose only apparent purpose on these boards is to follow MrsB around like a parasite and provide nonsensical ridicule.
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Annie7676
old hand
Reged: 06/05/05
Posts: 862
Loc: NY
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Nope you did nothing wrong, in fact I would say your choice is not seeing Lynn anymore was a good choice.
That much anger towards your X and daughters, name calling are HUGE RED FLAGS....
That much anger is not healthy.
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unknownfuture
recently joined
Reged: 03/18/12
Posts: 2
Loc: Michigan
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thanks everyone. I always say, "the heart wants what the heart wants" so with that, I started talking with Lynn again...and guess what...right. I'm a lying mother phuker, deceitful, lying bastard who supports a dyke, ugly, troll child killing piece of trash. Yes...that was the latest. And what completely dumbfounds me, is Lynn can be so nice, and I really think her friends don't know this side of her, then i get text messages like this - and then she taunts me with say, "the next man i'm with"...and yeah, the gets to me, but I have to believe she is not right. Are there any woman out there that can appreciate a man who takes care of his family, builds another home, a future, is supportive, has good communication (which means "no drama) with my ex, great career, ??? At this point, i'm thinking screw it.
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BeachBabeRN
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 01/16/06
Posts: 3049
Loc: VA for 21 years, NC forever!
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I'm thinking that whatever baggage she's carrying would fill the PLANE, never mind sticking anything else in there. Woman's got some issues, is what I'm thinking, none of which have to do with you.
Beauty on the outside doesn't equal beauty on the inside. I don't care if she's drop dead gorgeous, she's a dark vicious mean person, based on what you say here.
There is no reason for you and your ex to have an acrimonious parenting relationship. It's far better for your children to have a good parenting relationship with both of you.
The whole **next man I'm with** will be short lived as soon as she brings her evil side to the forefront. She's definitely not right and I suspect that she has something in her past that she wished would have gone as well -- or she believes that the only relationship that should be engaged in between divorced parents is dysfunction.
As long as you are able to provide for your children the way that you apparently do, who cares who pays the utilities? Or whose name they're in? As long as they're getting paid by the party that's using them and that credit records aren't being ruined by non-payment on something in your name.
The whole **taking your children any day of the week** I could see as a potential problem regarding boudaries in any relationship -- no one wants to feel less worthy than the other. Consistently cancelling on plans, etc. because you are taking your children on a last minute basis would put stress on any relationship. That's not necessary to have a civil relationship. However, if it makes YOU happy? Then anyone that you have a relationship with would have to accept that they will not be first and that any plans should be subject to cancellation, if you're able to see your children. That's a boudary you have to figure out.
This Lynn person? She's NUTS.
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