farmdwg
recently joined
Reged: 03/19/12
Posts: 4
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I am my kid's father (7 and 9 year olds) and have 100% custody of them. The other day they came home from an extended visit with their mother with a cell phone. I was not happy at all. In my opinion kids at this age do not need a cell phone. My ex said that since she was paying for it that they could use it to txt and call her. I was I don't agree with them txting and having a cell phone in my own house, that I wish she had called me to talk about this before she went out and bought the thing. She said that it would be used so the kids can get a hold of her easier.
The court orders says from 2 years ago say that I need to allow them to talk with their mom, which I totally agree with. They can use the house phone and Video Skype anytime they ask. Not a problem. I actually encourage them to call their mom since she moved out of state.
I don't think I have to allow them to use of the cell phone within my own house do I? I think I still have a say what goes on in my house. right?
thoughts?
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LexieBelle
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 11/07/10
Posts: 3680
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I would say, NO YOU DON'T!!!!!!! My ex did this with his first wife and their daughter. And they essentially have 50/50 (or darn close). Apparently it caused World War III and the phone is now at dad's. Not used at mom's.
I feel the same way. I see ZERO purpose for a child under driving age to have a cell and even then I'm opposed. Use a house phone, parent's cell, video conference like you said. Absolutely. You are NOT obligated to have them use "her" cell phone she gave to them when they are in your custody.
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MrsB
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Reged: 07/03/10
Posts: 6355
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Your house your rules, however if you keep the phones at home I don't see an issue with allowing them to use it instead of your home phone.
How often do they see their mom? Have you asked mom why she purchased them?
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LexieBelle
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 11/07/10
Posts: 3680
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She was probably just being a controlling biotch. She had ZERO business sending them home with cell phones without consulting with the custodial parent who, in this case is DAD. You just take the phone away... you can send it back with them to mom's and if she wants them to use it THERE, mor thrills to her.
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gr8Dad
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/07/04
Posts: 30199
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You can open a can of worms, and FIGHT her on it, costing you money and mental anguish...or you can just put the phones up, taking them down when the kids want to talk to her and let them use the cell phones for that, fooling her into thinking they have them, and you are still meeting your requirements in your home.
Was she wrong? Of course. Could you win? MAYBE. Is it a hill worth dying on? Probably not.
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Why give a "senior" discount, they have had plenty of time to raise the money...
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LexieBelle
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 11/07/10
Posts: 3680
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He'd absolutely win! Why on earth wouldn't he?? It's HIS home, he is NOT required to have his 7 and 9 yr old have cells. Period. He is allowing access, as he's legally required in his agreement. End of discussion.
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mydejavooo
recently joined
Reged: 03/04/12
Posts: 10
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I am the SAME way with my kids.....NO CEL PHONES! I too am a father with primary custody, and I can see my ex pulling something like that. What does a 9 yr old need a cel phone for? So they can be sneaky and call mom behind your back? No thanks!! I'll pass. You did the right thing. Heck, I'd box them up and ship them back to her.......without the batteries. LOL!
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ssmom79
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Reged: 06/27/07
Posts: 7784
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If you don't want the kids to use them, don't let them. She is paying for it, and she can allow them to use them while in her home/her care, but you don't have to do the same. So yea, you still get a say in your own house. I doubt either party is going to be willing to go to court over this.
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MrsB
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Reged: 07/03/10
Posts: 6355
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My son doesn't have a phone, however, in divorced situations sometimes it happens. I know some kids that age who have phones, it's not an issue b/c the parents are married - however, it really isn't up to someone else to judge what another person's child should or shouldn't have. There are some very valid reasons some children have cell phones - and there are plans offered where only certain numbers are able to be called from the phone, etc. It isn't the same as what an adult uses it for.
His house, his rules - same for her.
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farmdwg
recently joined
Reged: 03/19/12
Posts: 4
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I really appreciate the feedback. My ex is threatening legal action cause of this. Oh boy, here we go. This was something I was hoping to avoid.
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