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Arden
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Reged: 02/27/06
Posts: 860
Re: Kids and Cell Phone from Ex [Re: farmdwg]
      #780391 - 03/19/12 07:44 PM

Personally, I don't like cell phones for kids that age. I think they are way too young to have to be responsible for all that goes along with having a phone.

However, now here you sit with an unwanted cell phone, trying to figure out what to do with it.

I myself would plainly tell the ex, "yes, the phone is yours but, it is in my house, so there will be house rules". Such turned off and "locked" away at night. Maybe make it available to them for a certain amount of time, after homework, dinner, chores or whatever. As they show some responsibility you can allow texts during certain hours or on weekends. If they fight over the phone or it causes a distraction or upsets, it will be put up and they as always are welcome to call her from the home phone.

Set the rules that work best for you. If she doesn't like your rules, she is welcome to the phone.


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Tweeby
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Reged: 06/05/04
Posts: 7100
Re: Kids and Cell Phone from Ex [Re: farmdwg]
      #780392 - 03/19/12 07:55 PM

When my YSS was younger his Mom got him a cell phone and we didn't agree with it being at our home. My husband was the CP. We made rules for the cell phone and if my YSS didn't abide by them then he wasn't allowed to bring it into our home.

1st rule was that we were NOT responsible if the phone was lost or 'stolen'. We didn't buy and didn't want it so we wanted NO responsiblity for it. 2nd was that there were limits to using hte phone. It was not allowed to be used while we had family time and it had to be on the counter at bed time. We also reserved the right to check the phone at any time.

In our siutation it was a bit different. My YSS recieved a new phone about once a year, sometimes twice. His Mom would buy a plan but within a couple of months the plan was turned off due to nonpayment. This was before texting.

We still have similar rules in our home for cell phones for anyone under age 18. When we decide one of the kids are ready for a cell phone the rules and conquences are known. We are going out this week to get YS15 his own cell and add him to our plan. IMO it is a want not a need. It is not a hard fast rule on when someone (in our home) gets a cell phone.


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LexieBelle
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Reged: 11/07/10
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Re: Kids and Cell Phone from Ex [Re: gr8Dad]
      #780395 - 03/19/12 08:02 PM

He sounds perfectly capable of handling a legal aid lawyer lol. Any case would be a total joke that a 10 year old could argue.

I'm disappointed he's considering giving up his principles on the issue. Very sad. It's a no brainier. His house, NO PHONE. Period. One thing I agree with ex's first wife on. Ex pulled this with her. And really only cuz he was too lazy/too late to get the kid something else for Christmas.. Probably a last minute 7-11 purchase.. Anyway.. Mom was like no fareeking way in hell. That was 2 years ago apparently, she's going to be 11, phone stays at dads. When he told me the story he hinted he'd get dd one. NOPE. Or he can, but it'll sit at dads.

I wouldn't compromise my principles-beliefs on this one itsy bitsy iota. It's probably my number one kid peeve. Nothing pisses me off more than a kid with a cell. Dd's playmates in our building have one. Why? Dads too lazy to leave his apartment, walk downstairs and get his kids. Tubby could stand to walk his fat ass down the stairs a few times too lol. Insanity. And I guarantee you the kids are ZERO more safe with the phone. Guarantee it. Pathetic excuse for lazy parenting.


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NikkiL
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Reged: 06/03/05
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Re: Kids and Cell Phone from Ex [Re: LexieBelle]
      #780397 - 03/19/12 09:17 PM

What I guess I dont get, is WHY anyone would care to stop communication with another parent, especially one that lives out of state. That communication is all they have most of the time...whats wrong with texting little bits of information about what is going on with their day, or to say good morning or goodnight? TOTALLY failing to see WHY that needs to be controlled. Cant stand my ex. But you know what? He loves his dad, even if I dont, and they should be able to talk to each other without me being involved somehow, but then Im not a controlling hag who pulls out the MY HOUSE MY RULES crap over something positive, such as BUILDING a relationship with a parent who lives out of state and doesnt get to spend as much time with the child. Being the CP I can talk to my son anytime I want. I dont have to call the ex and ask to speak with him. Why should my ex have to call my home phone and have to ASK me to talk to DS?
It IS 2012. Cell phones make this possible. Dont see the point of making it a BAD THING.


LB-So if I call my kids on their cell phones and tell them to come home, Im being lazy? LOL. Says the woman with one kid who isnt old enough to venture out on her own yet. I have 3 kids coming and going all the time, because despite having cell phones they are very rarely hanging out in the house texting people. Yeah, Im lazy because Im not walking all over the neighborhood every time I need one of my kids to come home. HAHA. You can call it lazy, I call it living in the year 2012 and using technology available to me to make my life easier. I also wash my clothes in a washing machine, listen to an ipod, surf the internet, dvr my favorite programs..I dont have to get lost anymore because I have GPS on my phone...technology my lazy ass LOVES IT...


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gr8Dad
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Re: Kids and Cell Phone from Ex [Re: c_jane]
      #780398 - 03/19/12 09:22 PM

"no, don't call your Mom now. We're going to eat dinner/go somewhere/you're going to take a bath/ etc. in a few minutes."

That is not limiting your time, that is RAISING A CHILD.

"Now DS doesn't have to let Dad know how much he really talks to me."

Teach the child to lie, GOOD CALL, again, with EACH post from you, it becomes clearer and clearer why you are the NCP.

--------------------
Why give a "senior" discount, they have had plenty of time to raise the money...


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Debi
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Re: Kids and Cell Phone from Ex [Re: NikkiL]
      #780399 - 03/19/12 09:32 PM

What I guess I dont get, is WHY anyone would care to stop communication with another parent, especially one that lives out of state.

My daughter is 4. Her dad has been a truck driver all of her life. From the time she could babble into a phone he has called my landline or cell and spoken to her. Now she can answer my cell phone better than I can but is she getting one of her own any time soon? Hell no. It has nothing to do with keeping her from taking to him. From the time she could say "I want to talk to daddy" I have grabbed the phone and dialed. Now with pictures next to most of the contacts in my phone she can find him and call herself. There is no valid reason anyone can give me for a child who is not even old enough to be left alone for 5 minutes to have their own phone.

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When we were together, you said you'd die for me. Now, I think it's time you kept your promise.


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NikkiL
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Reged: 06/03/05
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Re: Kids and Cell Phone from Ex [Re: Debi]
      #780400 - 03/19/12 09:38 PM

Im sorry Debi, I didnt know we were talking about your 4 year old. I thought we were talking about 7 and 9 year olds. A 4 year old having a cell phone is ridiculous.

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Redlegg
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Reged: 10/05/06
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Re: Kids and Cell Phone from Ex [Re: NikkiL]
      #780404 - 03/19/12 10:38 PM

How about because a parent wants to make a choice for his house. I got it, many do not agree with his choice, but he is not stopping communications. He said no cell phones. But why should he change what he wants. He doesn't like cell phones, why should that choice be disrespected. I don't agree with the choice, but it is his to make, and he should feel free to make it. They have access to skype, and a house phone, and them not hearing her voice over a mobile device is the issue. Why does there seem to be so much intolerance over his choice of what will, and will not be in his house. If he would not let them communicate, then different story, but he is making sure they communicate. If he decides to take the phones when they walk in the door, great, if he decides to let them use the cell phones great, but they are talking to their mom, just not on a cell phone.

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Tweeby
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Reged: 06/05/04
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Re: Kids and Cell Phone from Ex [Re: NikkiL]
      #780415 - 03/20/12 05:08 AM

[quote]I thought we were talking about 7 and 9 year olds. A 4 year old having a cell phone is ridiculous. [/quote]

And that is how some people feel about a 7 and 9 yo having a cell phone. Each parent has a right to have their own 'rule' about when their child has a cell phone IN their home.

Texting and phone calls CAN be excessive. Doesn't sound like this parent is actually limiting because phone calls can be made by landline and by computer.


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NikkiL
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Re: Kids and Cell Phone from Ex [Re: Redlegg]
      #780444 - 03/20/12 08:45 AM

I gave him my opinion and one way he could look at it. OF COURSE he can do whatever he wants its his house. He can get into a battle with his ex over it. If he wants. I fail to see the point. At age 7 & 9, I would bet money within a few weeks, the phones will be lost, (he didnt buy them so why would he care) or rarely used.
My ex husband has done many things that have ticked me off, that I didnt agree with. None of them mean a thing now. They werent worth fighting over. I happen to think phones are not worth fighting about, and that if looked at in a positive way, could actually be a good thing. But no lets encourage him to fight with his ex over a PHONE. That sounds like its whats in the best interest of the children.
FIGHTING. Thats great for kids. He should do that. I stand corrected.


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