gr8Dad
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/07/04
Posts: 30195
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What was the parenting time arrangement before the change? In other words, what did he get before it went to 50/50?
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Why give a "senior" discount, they have had plenty of time to raise the money...
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Goodmom
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 06/17/07
Posts: 2004
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Another option is to make one of your vacation weeks coincide with the third week (or whichever week they are not away).
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Goodmom
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 06/17/07
Posts: 2004
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[quote]What was the parenting time arrangement before the change? In other words, what did he get before it went to 50/50? [/quote]
That is irrelevant. And the only reason you are asking is so that you can attack the OP if it wasn't what you think it should have been.
What IS relevant is what the schedule CURRENTLY is.
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gr8Dad
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/07/04
Posts: 30195
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No, it is very relevant, especially to HIS mindset. If he got, as she stated, two non consecutive weeks in the summer, but only EOW for the rest of the summer, that means in PAST summers, he got two weeks, she got TEN, so him getting THREE weeks this first summer is not even CLOSE to unreasonable.
"What IS relevant is what the schedule CURRENTLY is."
And if it IS as she says, then he is PERFECTLY right in his request.
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Why give a "senior" discount, they have had plenty of time to raise the money...
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Debi
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/03/05
Posts: 7135
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You're assuming he was the NCP before 50/50 was implemented.
If you have 50/50 placement it's normal to assume you take your vacation when you have the child.
Yes 3 weeks IS a long time. I would not want to be away from my kids for 3 weeks, their dad would not want to be away from them for 3 weeks and they would not want to be away from either of us for 3 weeks. they would however be fine not seeing each other for 3 weeks.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with requesting a bit of time with the child during the week they are not on vacation. True there are plenty of people who do long distance pareting plans. It doesn't sound as if this child has ever done that so it is HUGE deal to her. Not because it's mom she won't see for three weeks, but not seeing either parent for that amount of time.
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When we were together, you said you'd die for me. Now, I think it's time you kept your promise.
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ssmom79
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/27/07
Posts: 7783
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Hi there, I have 50/50 rotating schedule like you. We have done this several ways. At their current ages 15/17, we just carry on for the three weeks.
We have also done a midweek switch up where we shared our own week since we 'took' her week.
We have also changed the whole schedule and switched the weeks off entirely. So in your case he'd have the kids your vacation week, then when he returned, you'd start the next week and 'start over'.
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gr8Dad
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/07/04
Posts: 30195
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"You're assuming he was the NCP before 50/50 was implemented."
No, I am not, I ASKED what his parenting time was before the 50/50. When responding to goodmom, I said "IF" he had that, one could understand the mindset.
"If you have 50/50 placement it's normal to assume you take your vacation when you have the child."
That would depend on the TYPE of 50/50 you have. If you have a 5/2 type, that would mean you couldn't go away for more than 5 days EVER.
"Yes 3 weeks IS a long time. I would not want to be away from my kids for 3 weeks, their dad would not want to be away from them for 3 weeks and they would not want to be away from either of us for 3 weeks. they would however be fine not seeing each other for 3 weeks."
No, it is NOT. MANY MANY of us have to give the ex SIX WEEKS of the summer. So HALF of what MANY MANY people have to give up is NOT that long.
"There is absolutely nothing wrong with requesting a bit of time with the child during the week they are not on vacation."
There is nothing wrong with requesting that you ex smear themselves with Jello and run through the street naked. You can ask for whatever you want.
"It doesn't sound as if this child has ever done that so it is HUGE deal to her."
So at what age IS it okay for a child to LEARN to be away from Mommy or Daddy for three weeks? Tens of THOUSANDS of kids go away to CAMP for longer than that in the summer.
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Why give a "senior" discount, they have had plenty of time to raise the money...
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Debi
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/03/05
Posts: 7135
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No, it is NOT. MANY MANY of us have to give the ex SIX WEEKS of the summer. So HALF of what MANY MANY people have to give up is NOT that long.
However this in NOT one of those situations so keep saying it's NOT a long time as much as you like. I say it IS. And just because there are people with long distance parenting plans it doesn't mean the kids like the arrangements.
At what age is it ok to teach the child they can be away that long? How about when the child is comfortable with it? Most of my my kids are teens and I have never been away from them for 3 weeks and they have no desire to be away from either of their parentsfor that length of time.
I will have to respectfully agree to disagree with you because it's obvious neither of us will change our POV.
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When we were together, you said you'd die for me. Now, I think it's time you kept your promise.
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gr8Dad
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/07/04
Posts: 30195
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"However this in NOT one of those situations so keep saying it's NOT a long time as much as you like. I say it IS. And just because there are people with long distance parenting plans it doesn't mean the kids like the arrangements."
And just because YOU think it is, does not make it so.
"How about when the child is comfortable with it?"
SO your kids NEVER tried something NEW? I mean we do not get "comfortable" with something until we DO it. The thing is, YOU are basing YOUR POV on YOUR feelings alone, while MY POV is based on something that happens to tens of thousands of kids EVERY year, without incident.
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Why give a "senior" discount, they have had plenty of time to raise the money...
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Tweeby
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/05/04
Posts: 7100
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So if you don't want your D gone for that long and it is a planned vacation then have your D fly home. She can fly home alone as an unaccompanied minor or you can buy a round trip ticket to fly back with her. Sounds silly doesn't to disrupt a vacation because a child doesn't want to be away from the other parent for so long.
Since your ex is doing it than you can take 3 weeks either before or after he does.
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