Nicole
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 01/25/05
Posts: 1762
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DH and I made a mistake last week in not realizing that skids spring break with their mom started on Friday of our week not Sunday. We thought we had all week to spend with them before we move and it finally dawned on us Wednesday that they were going to BM's house on Friday.
So, yes, I txt BM and asked her if we could have some extra time. I know I know, her time, she doesn't have too. Which is why I told her that I knew she didn't have too but that we would greatly appreciate it and that it didn't have to be a whole day, we could pick them up early afternoon and return them that evening. I asked her for Sunday since he had family coming to our house that day and DH was also off that day. BM replied "I will get back to you on that"
Next day, hadn't heard anything from her, so I sent her a quick txt just asking if she had thought about it. She said she had talked to her husband about it. I thanked her for even thinking about it since she didn't have too and that we would love to see them before we leave. (Baseball practice was schedule for today so we knew we were going to see them but we just wanted some time to take them out to dinner and see some of his family) BM txt back "I don't want you to think I am not going to let you see them I just don't know what time yet" I was a little taken back because I really didn't think she would let us see them but it looked like she was going too. I txt her back thank you that we were so bummed when we realized we didn't have the weekend with them. She said she understood and that she would let me know Friday for sure what time. Ok.
Friday came, at 2pm we hadn't heard from her so I txt her and asked if she had figured out a time. Never heard back from her. DH txt her that night and asked if she had figured out what time. He never heard back from her.
Saturday, nothing.
Sunday, I txt her asking if we were going to get to see them. A very short txt just saying we would love to see them for a little bit, his family was at our house saying goodbye and would appreciate them being able to come. Nothing.
Monday, BM txt me in the morning saying she should have got back to me sooner but she was at the hospital all weekend and didn't have her phone on her. Once we talked about the hospital thing I asked if DH could see them today since he was off. BM asked if I had skids baseball pants. I txt back yes and that I was going to bring them to practice but with the weather it is highly unlikely they are going to have practice so if DH could see them tomorrow I would just send them with him. She never txt back. After work I went to go buy skids their new baseball pants and socks for the season and txt her if she wanted me to go ahead and get a helmet she was planning on buying. She txt back that she would txt me in a bit she was at the dr. I said ok. I waited about 35 mins and never heard back from her so I just purchased the baseball pants and socks and left. I txt her and told her I got the pants for them and socks. Nothing.
Later last night she had never txt me back. So I sent her one last txt and just said even if you don't want us to get the skids we are still going to have to meet up sometime this week so I can give you their baseball pants for the season, since we obviously won't have practice. So plz get back on when that could happen. Nothing. Tried txting skids just to see if they had their phone with them but they never txt me back either.
So I look on Facebook for this weekend. And I see that BM was posting all weekend what she was doing, playing catch with the kids, bike riding, etc.. all weekend. So I don't believe the hospital thing.
NOW, I am not bothered by her not letting us seeing the kids on her time, well it bums us out but we knew when asking that she didn't have too so we had already come to terms with that. What is bothering me now is that she is flat out not communicating with us. I asked DH last night if she doesn't txt me back what was I suppose to do with their baseball pants that I have? Should I mail it too them? He said return them and have her buy them, that we would have proof that we at least tried to help out.
I know some ppl might say she might not have her phone on her at all times she just hasn't txt you back or something along those lines. But I know BM, she keeps her phone with her all the time. She just does.
I just don't know how this is going to work once we move and try to get visitation worked out while we wait for the temp to be done. Do we just leave that to our lawyer or still try through her. BM still has not been served, which I really thought she would be by now.
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4Summer
veteran
Reged: 07/14/09
Posts: 1508
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Would she be more responsive if DH were to call or text her?
If she makes a habit out of not communicating regarding the kids, DH can always communicate with her via emails and request read receipts that will show when she's read them. Atleast with those you have proof that she's refusing to communicate.
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"Sometimes I need what only you can provide: your absence"
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Nicole
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 01/25/05
Posts: 1762
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DH did try txting her as well on Friday and I forgot to add he txt her on Sunday as well. But she is normally responsive to me. I had thought about DH doing the letter thing. Which is what we will have to do once we move I guess. But her not responding to our txts also proves she isnt communicating very well. This is just the start of it.
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Cassie23
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 10/07/05
Posts: 14714
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I think the read notify emails are a good idea. That way you have proof that you are trying to communicate and that she is reading them, but not responding. If I remember correctly the read notify isn't obvious so she would not know that the emails are being tracked.
I think, if it were me, at some point over the weekend- DH should have CALLED BM. Is it unusual for DH to call his children on a week that is BM's?
I really think BM and your DH should have lunch or get together to discuss communication and such details before you guys move. Maybe HE should extend that offer to her? I know that is what we did in our situation. That way he isn't leaving without at least trying to communicate with her. I would bet she is just unhappy with the move. Did she receive the court papers yet?
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Nicole
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 01/25/05
Posts: 1762
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The weeks they are at BM's DH might call once or so but usually with practicies or activities he sees them once or twice that week anyways.
Do all email accounts have read notify or would we have to get a certain kind?
I think that is a good idea getting together but she won't talk to us. lol So I don't see how they could arrange a lunch. I don't want us to keep txting her because I am starting to feel like we are stalkers but I just spent $50 on baseball stuff for skids and would like to get it to them.
And I 100% agree with you Cassie on the reason she is being like this. She is unhappy about the move. I think this is why it might be hard for some ppl to care that she isn't responding to us right now, before the move was decided her and I txt all the time. Not always about skids sometimes we just talked. But she was ALWAYS great about responding because she always has her phone on her. lol She is a SAHM who all of her kids are in school so we talk a lot while I am at work and she is at home.
But once we told her we were moving, the communication just started going downhill. This is why it is frustrating because I know better. I know she is just avoiding us or avoiding the issue.
No, she hasn't been served yet, which I am suprised but maybe it is a good thing for now.
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Cassie23
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 10/07/05
Posts: 14714
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You have to get read notify attached to your account, I believe. They have a site: readnotify.com. Others on here may be able to direct you in regards to that- I know there are a few that have it or have had it in the past.
I think DH should take the time to just call her and ask her to meet him for lunch so they can talk. Can't hurt. If she doesn't respond at least he can say he tried.
I would send the skids baseball stuff in the mail. That's just me, you bought it for them and surely they can use it.
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Nicole
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 01/25/05
Posts: 1762
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oh ok. i think i have looked into that before.
Should I send the baseball stuff certified then so I can prove she received it?
I will mention to DH about calling her.
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4Summer
veteran
Reged: 07/14/09
Posts: 1508
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You could send it certified mail, however, if she's not available when it's delivered, she doesn't have to pick it up from the post office.
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"Sometimes I need what only you can provide: your absence"
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MrsB
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 07/03/10
Posts: 6355
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Check your Pm's :)
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Cassie23
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 10/07/05
Posts: 14714
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Nah- send it with delivery confirmation. That just shows it was delivered, she won't have to sign for it.
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