SRS
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 11/05/10
Posts: 2161
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Your move has changed her life. Think about it from her POV. Not to mention, she doesn't owe you anything. Sure, it would have been nice to have been with the boys this weekend, but it wasn't your scheduled time.
Also, try CALLING. Have your husband get off his ass and call her. Not you - have him call and leave a message if nothing else.
I know, I know. I am mean for forcing you to look at this from her POV.
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LexieBelle
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 11/07/10
Posts: 3680
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[quote]Your move has changed her life. Think about it from her POV. Not to mention, she doesn't owe you anything. Sure, it would have been nice to have been with the boys this weekend, but it wasn't your scheduled time.
Also, try CALLING. Have your husband get off his ass and call her. Not you - have him call and leave a message if nothing else.
I know, I know. I am mean for forcing you to look at this from her POV. [/quote]
------------>> WELL SAID!!!!!
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Nicole
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 01/25/05
Posts: 1762
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You are not mean. I can see that this is crazy fast and maybe throwing her off a little. But either way communication still has to happen. Like I said this isn't so much about us not seeing the kids, now its about just getting them their stuff I have for baseball.
Right now her status quo for communication is communicating through me. DH is trying to get ahold of her too she just usually responds to me better. Hence the reason she txt me last week about us moving and not txting DH.
I am going to talk to DH about calling her.
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SRS
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 11/05/10
Posts: 2161
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There is always an excuse, isn't there.
Why didn't your husband take the fricking pants to her house when the kids were home. Ta Da..... he would have seen the kids.
Quit texting and have him pick up the phone. Leave a pleasant message about seeing the kids.
She is controlling when he can see the kids because YOU AND YOUR HUSBAND MOVED AWAY. HE MOVED AWAY AND LEFT HIS KIDS WITH HER. I'd recommend not stalking her on Facebook, quit trying to get 100% custody, and make him learn to play nice.
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Redlegg
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 10/05/06
Posts: 26677
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What if she has communicated with you as much as she wanted to?
It sounds like right now, at this point, she did not cooperate with you. You have said she provides a loving home, and you are not going for custody, but only a visitation change. As much as you guys want to see them extra, the paradigm for her is you are changing the status quo. What exactly is she not doing that suddenly deserves read notify, documenting, and all to prove that she does not communicate to your standard. I wonder if she thinks the exact same thing, that communication is hard, when so much has gone on that she did not know about. Whether you like it or not, you are making decisions that change her life. I would say she sees that as not cooperating. Maybe at this point, it is time to leave it alone, try to get the visitation changed, and work on it when you move, get established, and there is a rythm to work with, a new status quo. Right now, it seems like it would difficult to establish a status quo, in the middle of such a huge transition. Work on the visitation change, do not get caught up, right now, in her communication level. Let the dust settle, see what is really going on. Your transition is causing a transition for BM, for the kids, for the kids relationship with their friends, their life in general, and there are effects. I just don't think the full scope of the coming changes are identifiable at this time.
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Cassie23
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 10/07/05
Posts: 14714
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I know, I know. I am mean for forcing you to look at this from her POV.
----------------------------------------------------
BAER. Everything you said has already been said to her numerous times. She doesn't think you're mean nor are you "forcing" her to see anything she isn't willing to.
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Cassie23
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 10/07/05
Posts: 14714
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Why didn't your husband take the fricking pants to her house when the kids were home. Ta Da..... he would have seen the kids.
----------------------------------------
Given your situation SRS where your X has wanted to call the cops on you for being on his property in the past, I don't go to houses I am UNinvited. Just not my style. I would, however, extend my hand for a lunch just the 2 parents if she is able to. I think they have a few things to talk out if she allows. If not, then as Red suggested maybe this needs a little dust settling time?
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Nicole
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 01/25/05
Posts: 1762
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What excuse?
Why didn't DH take the pants? Because if she starts acting like she did during the divorce she would call the cops on him, she did that before. That is why we are trying to set up a time to meet.
I am just wondering when you are going to get it through your thick skull that he is no longer going for full custody, LIKE I STATED BEFORE!! (I know how much you like to capitalize so I figured that would help you read it!)
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SRS
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 11/05/10
Posts: 2161
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Cassie -
Why do you feel the need to attack me and defend her? Are you sleeping with her? Is she your daughter? Do you think she is not intellectually with it enough to respond for herself?
She needs realism on this move away. Not defense on how wonderful she and her husband are for bettering ther lives and leaving his kids in the dust.
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LexieBelle
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 11/07/10
Posts: 3680
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Or, get used to long distance parenting/exchanges and just SHIP the pants home. Drop them in the mail.
Sorry, they just sound very childish.. ALL of them. And I totally agree with SRS.. Why does her HUSBAND man the heck up, and CALL the other parent???????????
And the "let me check on Mom's facebook to see what she REALLY did this weekend" thing is sooooo stupid. I have to say I don't know why ex's "friend" each other like this. OTHER than to monitor. Particularly in contentious situations. Makes no sense.
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