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Nicole
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To clear it up...
      #780600 - 03/21/12 05:15 AM

The other thread was getting crazy, so here it is:
DH did try to call BM yesterday. She didn't answer nor did she answer any texts he sent her yesterday. (I sent none to her) He tried calling skids phone. They did not answer. He txt BM again and said he wanted skids to call him. SS10 called he was at his uncles house. 2 hours later SS12 called, he had been at a friends house. When DH talked to SS12 he was with BM and he asked after he was done to talk to BM and she hung up the phone when he handed it to her. So, he tried.

DH never told me to communicate to BM. It happened gradually and just naturally. It became more of a constant thing with her and I when she left her husband and was living at her moms house with the kids. Because I had to ask her everyday where she would be to pick up skids after school.

I HAVE told DH before that he had to deal with BM on certain issues. Last year after she cussed me out via txt msg and then at a baseball practice, I told him he had to deal with her until she could handle herself. Told BM that as well. I told her that I would not allow someone to speak to me that way.

And srry SRS, but Cassie suggested the calling BM before you. When you posted a couple of posts in a civil way I responded the same.

And maybe because I have been gone for awhile but is LB, PM? That would make so much sense to me if thats the case.

Do I paint DH as a saint? No. I have come on here before and complained about him. That was the past. He stepped up. He changed. A lot. I would have lost my mind if he hadn't.

Also, DH did not just txt BM his idea for a visitation plan. He personally met with her last year to discuss it and give her a heads up about a possible move. HE met with HER, not me! He mainly sent the txt so he had proof of what he offered and that she turned it down. But the first mention of it was over lunch.

It bothers me that ppl on here are predicting the destruction of my marriage. I think it might make some of them happy but is sad that someone could even say it.

DO NOT feel sorry for me. I am a grown woman and I make my own decisions. If I was unhappy with DH I would not have married him or stuck by his side for 9 1/2 years. I can/will own up to my mistakes. But being with DH is not one of them.


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MrsB
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Re: To clear it up... [Re: Nicole]
      #780601 - 03/21/12 06:52 AM

I think you guys have handled it the best possible way.

Love how she will send them to the uncles and friends houses but not their dads after you requested it and knowing you're about to move. I think I agree with Leanne - she's likely bitter about the move which does not excuse her behavior.

Yup - LB is PM.

As for the predictions - this coming from women who are miserable in their own lives they want to see everyone else miserable and actually find joy in it. It's disgusting. Ignore it.


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meganb
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Reged: 10/29/05
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Re: To clear it up... [Re: Nicole]
      #780602 - 03/21/12 06:56 AM

Nicole,
You do not have to justify to any of us your or your DH actions. You really did not have to make a new post to clear up anything in the post below, as you had stated everything you posted here in your second post. If people would take the time to read everything there would not be people pointing fingers and saying "oh I thought it was a 2 week move, now you say it has been in the works for 2 years" You had mentioned that in one of your first threads. Sorry you feel as though you have to repeat what you have already posted.

I feel for you. I was also one of those SM who had to communicate with the BM. My late husband and his ex would not speak, so everything went threw me. She and I did all the talking, planning ect. I see nothing wrong with that if all parties involved agree. Sometimes it just works. For others it does not. In your case and mine it did.

As for your question if LB is PM....yes she is.

As I brought up in the thread below...why do people think if she would not answer a text why would she answer a phone call? I asked that in the very last post????? I cant understand people who keep harping the same thing over and over. I for one didnt think she would answer a call and from what you said seems I called that one right on.

I'm glad your DH did get to speak to his sons though.
Best of luck to you.

Edited by meganb (03/21/12 07:05 AM)


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Nicole
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Re: To clear it up... [Re: meganb]
      #780604 - 03/21/12 08:10 AM

I know I didn't have to repost. I know that for the individuals who don't read the entire post or focus on just one statement that it will not matter anyways. But I did want to state that I will not stand for someone saying my marriage will fail, or my DH will leave me. Or boo hoo Nicole she is in a horrible spot. I am not to be pitied.

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LexieBelle
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Re: To clear it up... [Re: Nicole]
      #780605 - 03/21/12 08:23 AM

Yup, I'm PM.. I lost my "cookie" with my pword at some point and had to create a new id. No big fat deal.

As for "predicting destruction", look, I just call it like I see it. Is what it is. I'm right more often than I'm wrong (JL is a PERFECT example, that deal is going down pretty much EXACTLY like I called it) sooooo.. don't like it? Mmmm.. perhaps it hits a bit too close to home for your comfort? Don't know. I truly feel bad for you, I do. I think you've accepted a bad situation and now do what most people in those situations do.. excuse it away.

Good luck. I won't bother your threads anyyyyyymore.


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Nicole
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Re: To clear it up... [Re: LexieBelle]
      #780606 - 03/21/12 08:28 AM

Never said it was a big deal you changed your name. I have noticed many others have.

You don't call it like you see it, you call it like you want to see it. You do not know my marriage nor do I even post 98% of what goes on in our life. You want to predict based on what you think my reality is.

But thank you for not bothering my threads anymore, because unlike SRS I have not gained anything positive from any of your posts.


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M5M5
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Re: To clear it up... [Re: LexieBelle]
      #780607 - 03/21/12 08:32 AM

You're not right most of the time. I'd like some proof of that. You said JL would be pregnant before she got married...well, you were wrong there. Nicole's marriage has lasted almost 10 years...why wouldn't it last longer? Just because you say so? BAER.

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LexieBelle
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Re: To clear it up... [Re: Nicole]
      #780608 - 03/21/12 08:32 AM

You're funny. Funny, we all called it right before you skedaddled years ago when you were just about ready to leave your husband, no?

But whatev.. you justify it how you want. SRS didn't say anything different than I did sooo.. you're welcome from me too :):)


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LexieBelle
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Re: To clear it up... [Re: M5M5]
      #780609 - 03/21/12 08:34 AM

Go look at JL's court case. Point proven :):) That was too easy stupid :):) This site is tooo funny, really it is.

OH and the ONLY reason I was wrong about JL and pregnancy? Is because she can't GET PREGNANT NOW. Derrrrr. Are you this stupid in real life or do you just pretend to be here? Honestly.

ETA: you KNOW I'm just playin' now JUST to see if you'll react? Thanks for, once again, proving my point:) Have a nice day ladies!! :):):):)

Edited by LexieBelle (03/21/12 08:35 AM)


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Nicole
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Re: To clear it up... [Re: LexieBelle]
      #780610 - 03/21/12 08:35 AM

You called what?

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M5M5
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Re: To clear it up... [Re: Nicole]
      #780611 - 03/21/12 08:42 AM

Nothing....as usual she is full of manure. I'd just ignore her...she's just soooo full of hate and bitterness. Seems so unhappy to me, so I do feel sorry for her. But, that's no excuse to treat ppl like she does.

Anyway, I'm off here for here for the day...taking the kids to the mountains.


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MrsB
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Re: To clear it up... [Re: M5M5]
      #780612 - 03/21/12 09:10 AM

Have fun!!

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Cassie23
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Re: To clear it up... [Re: Nicole]
      #780613 - 03/21/12 09:48 AM

I think you are doing the best for what you have to work with. Things have changed and you and DH just assumed the WAY you communicate wouldn't change. I believe I told you this in one of your most recent posts. H spoke to BM about moving and she was completely okay with it. When it happened she would not allow SD to go house hunting with us. In the end she did a disservice to SD. She should have wanted SD to be part of our move just as much as we wanted her to be because it would have been BEST for SD. Unfortunately that is often a hard pill to swallow. BM did come around, but not before she sent H a "parenting plan" that actually gave him less than he had ever had. She was angry. I think in part because we moving that that would affect their daughter. In other part because she didn't have the same option. She was living at her Mom's house or subsidized housing and I think she was jealous of the life that H and I made. In fact, she had told me so just a year or 2 earlier. So there could be a few things taking place inside her head right now.

I really do hope your H gets to see his kids before he leaves. I hope that BM allows him that opportunity because I am sure the boys want to.

Lastly, I have been in your shoes and in the end SD lives here with us. Her BM no longer speaks to her. I think SD is where she belongs.


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Cassie23
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Re: To clear it up... [Re: LexieBelle]
      #780617 - 03/21/12 12:05 PM

SRS didn't say anything different than I did sooo.. you're welcome from me too :):)
---------------------------------------

I think she meant unlike SRS who stated she did gain something positive from your posts, she has not.

I don't think Nicole's marriage is going to fail nor do I think he will do the same to the kids they have together. It may be tough from some people to understand how it works with someone who is tied to a job in which they have to move or married to a person who has to move with the job market. Even with us- the first time we moved... the job H had was literally (physically) killing him. That move, although away from SD, actually made us better people together and as parents because he was physically able to do more.

In time they (Nicole and her H) will be able to see if they made the right decision, if they didn't he can certainly look for a job back closer to the kids.


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LexieBelle
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Re: To clear it up... [Re: Cassie23]
      #780618 - 03/21/12 12:22 PM

No offense but? Your situation is HARDLY a success story Cassie. Your stepdaughter is a train wreck, your husband and her mother TOTALLY failed her as parents. Your marriage is, by your own admission, not a passionate one, you're what'd you call it once? More like "brother and sister".. ewwwwww. I wouldn't hold yourself up as the gold standard of success and even YOU have said you wouldn't do it again. My guess is you're like a Finz.. you stay for the kids and you'll probably be gone when they're grown. let's call a spade a spade.

I just think it's so funny people apparently forget what they say about their own situations.. repeatedly. Now Nicole's dh is Mr. Responsible? Please, he JUST learned to dial the phone for HIS KIDS..yesterday? Give me a break. Honestly.. it's become totally amusing the fantasy worlds people here live in.


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SRS
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Re: To clear it up... [Re: MrsB]
      #780620 - 03/21/12 12:38 PM

JL -

2 marriages in 5 years? Evicted for nonpaymnet of your rent. Plus a false sexual harassment claim? Puls all of the other court related things that are happening according to the rest of the board?

I'd probably crawl back into my hole and work on my own life, if I were you.

Do you have a job yet? FIred how many times in the past few years? How many of those were for misue of the internet?

Pull your life together before you start in on others....or sweep your own doorstep as your siggy says.


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SRS
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Re: To clear it up... [Re: Cassie23]
      #780622 - 03/21/12 12:44 PM

Cassie you are here ALL OF THE TIME complaining about your SD. Her grades are never good enough and now she has an idea of a career - you are dissing her on that too (just a few posts down). Is that the kind of relationship you want Nicole to have with her SKs?

You have admitted that your DH was not a good father to his daughter. Her mother wasn't any better.

Gosh.....I'd hope that Nicole can do better than you have with your SD.

DOn't hold yourself up as an example of how to do things properly.


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Cassie23
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Re: To clear it up... [Re: LexieBelle]
      #780624 - 03/21/12 12:55 PM

You can call it as you like LB, but my SD is doing way better now that she out of her Mother's home. She is an A/B student here which she was not there. She has made some poor choices, but she is way LESS trouble than she was there. Her and I have a good relationship.

I have made my story known and I recently posted that my marriage is better now that we don't have to deal with BM. I am VERY grateful and love my children and H. I don't have a perfect marriage, we are friends. I had a lot of things to work on and I am in the process of doing that.

I have BTDT and I think my SD is in the best possible place now. It didn't RUIN her relationship with me, her Dad or her siblings. The difficulties that BM threw our way didn't cause him to run out on me and find someone else and do the same thing he did to them with our kids. May not be the success story you want to call it, but I'm happy with it.


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Cassie23
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Re: To clear it up... [Re: SRS]
      #780626 - 03/21/12 01:00 PM

I worry about her because I LOVE HER. I worry she will make choices just to make them and not because they are the best for her. I also posted an update earlier today, which I thought was good news. Either way our lives have not been perfect there was a good 16 years where SD wasn't parented or disciplined well. Cannot go back and change that now. I am certain we have all made some mistakes as parents, I know I have. I think, in the end, she is where she belongs and on the right track. Even if she doesn't become a nurse because she doesn't have it in her then so be it. I do believe she will be okay. She is lucky enough on the classes she has struggled in-- one C right now that they give extra credit. That should be enough to bring her up to a B. She has maintained over a 3.0 thus far- I hope she continues to.

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Cassie23
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Re: To clear it up... [Re: LexieBelle]
      #780628 - 03/21/12 01:08 PM

Just remember LB you have been on this board and have changed your thought process and feelings on a lot of things in your life. Others do the same. The most dramatic of all in the past saying that you were strongly against moveaways until you did it now you are no longer opposed. Things change, people change- whether they are success stories to a group of outsiders really makes no difference. If you are happy in your life, with your choices you have made, I don't think someone predicting the outcome of your marriage or relationships will make much difference. I would have predicted 5 years ago that SD would still be living with BM. SD thanked us most recently because she truly believed she would have been a drop out of she had not moved here. I believe everything happens for a reason and I'm okay with that.

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sampoe55
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Reged: 12/19/10
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Re: To clear it up... [Re: LexieBelle]
      #780632 - 03/21/12 02:13 PM

LB #771979

"And yup, I'm a bytch that uses the "C" word quite liberally. Applies often
Wanna stereotype me as being neurotic? Dysfunctional? Go right ahead.
Don't fvck with me regarding my pregnancies. I never shared that stuff so it'd be used as a personal shove it up my ass ram for the village bitches. I shared it, for the same reason I share it with anyone, so they understand me, and maybe just MAYBE someone learns something"

HYPOCRITE


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LexieBelle
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Re: To clear it up... [Re: sampoe55]
      #780633 - 03/21/12 02:22 PM

Bite me :)

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Maury
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Re: To clear it up... [Re: LexieBelle]
      #780634 - 03/21/12 02:25 PM

"Bite me."

Be sure to get vaccinated first.


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elliesmom
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Re: To clear it up... [Re: Maury]
      #780635 - 03/21/12 02:39 PM

LMAO.

I don't understand why anyone would think your marriage is on the brink Nicole. Seriously - did we take some mean pills? You are moving, altering a custody agreement, changing jobs, if you aren't spitting nails at each other things are pretty good. Those are all really hard transitions to make together. What is SOOOOOO horrible? He forgot to get permission to breathe and took the advice of his lawyer before checking with Nicole? He is a grown a$$ man who makes decisions. After he discussed it with his wife he changed his mind and changed his course of action. My gawd - call the lawyers this marriage is over. Sheesh. Seriously Nicole good luck with the move. I don't envy you that or dealing with BM from here on out.

--------------------
Forgiveness is...letting go of the hope that the past can be changed.


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Miranda
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Re: To clear it up... [Re: SRS]
      #780638 - 03/21/12 03:30 PM

[quote]JL -

2 marriages in 5 years? Evicted for nonpaymnet of your rent. Plus a false sexual harassment claim? Puls all of the other court related things that are happening according to the rest of the board?

I'd probably crawl back into my hole and work on my own life, if I were you.

Do you have a job yet? FIred how many times in the past few years? How many of those were for misue of the internet?

Pull your life together before you start in on others....or sweep your own doorstep as your siggy says. [/quote]

How on earth would you know all of that? Weird.

--------------------
13.1...because I am only half crazy!


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Miranda
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Re: To clear it up... [Re: elliesmom]
      #780639 - 03/21/12 03:31 PM

[quote]LMAO.

I don't understand why anyone would think your marriage is on the brink Nicole. Seriously - did we take some mean pills? You are moving, altering a custody agreement, changing jobs, if you aren't spitting nails at each other things are pretty good. Those are all really hard transitions to make together. What is SOOOOOO horrible? He forgot to get permission to breathe and took the advice of his lawyer before checking with Nicole? He is a grown a$$ man who makes decisions. After he discussed it with his wife he changed his mind and changed his course of action. My gawd - call the lawyers this marriage is over. Sheesh. Seriously Nicole good luck with the move. I don't envy you that or dealing with BM from here on out. [/quote]

Well said EM, I totally agree.

I don't envy the position Nicole is in, and I wish her and her family tons of luck with the move and the future.

--------------------
13.1...because I am only half crazy!


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MrsB
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Re: To clear it up... *DELETED* [Re: Miranda]
      #780640 - 03/21/12 03:35 PM

Post deleted by MrsB

Edited by MrsB (03/21/12 03:43 PM)


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Sampoe
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Re: To clear it up... [Re: MrsB]
      #780641 - 03/21/12 03:37 PM

[quote]Wow. I have the psycho on ignore. LMAO.

SRS - WTF are you talking about? You sound like the trolls.

You are seriously F*CKED UP lady. [/quote]

What part of what SRS said is not true?


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MrsB
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Re: To clear it up... *DELETED* [Re: Sampoe]
      #780643 - 03/21/12 03:47 PM

Post deleted by MrsB

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Sampoe
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Re: To clear it up... [Re: MrsB]
      #780644 - 03/21/12 03:59 PM

I thought I was on ignore? All anybody needs to do is look at your court record to determine that your life is not awesome in the least! And I'm not just talking about your BS with your ex. You know EXACTLY what I'm talking about. Everything SRS said was FACT.

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Loretta
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Re: To clear it up... [Re: Maury]
      #780661 - 03/21/12 07:27 PM

[quote]"Bite me."

Be sure to get vaccinated first. [/quote]

Lmbo, to quote pm "yup, yup, yup"!!!!


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M5M5
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Re: To clear it up... [Re: Miranda]
      #780662 - 03/21/12 07:33 PM

I've been saying that for a while now. She calls JL by the same name that one of the trolls do too.

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LexieBelle
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Re: To clear it up... [Re: Loretta]
      #780668 - 03/21/12 07:45 PM

Oh most def!! I've got the herp, the clap, you name it, I'm a walking disease. STRONGLY recommend it! ROFL!!!!!!!!

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TruthPLEASEnoW
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Re: To clear it up... [Re: LexieBelle]
      #780670 - 03/21/12 07:47 PM

D u act so smart yet u spend all ur time on here. Poor E. she gets none of ur attention. Rdy for that next glass of vino?

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LexieBelle
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Re: To clear it up... [Re: TruthPLEASEnoW]
      #780674 - 03/21/12 08:24 PM

Your credibility would go way up if you got her initial right :). Those who know me, see my fb, know I spend an enormous amount of time with "E".

As for drinking, not so much :). I did get two bottles of excellent red wines for Christmas from my office mates. I think I shared the first one with a girlfriend Christmas night.. I had half a glass. Had the other one last night with my neighbor. Had half a glass. I'm not a home drinker. And my days of going to clubs are long long gone. I don't go out at all really, even when dd is gone, I'm home. You must have me confused.


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MrsB
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Re: To clear it up... [Re: Miranda]
      #780949 - 03/24/12 10:00 PM

What's funny is what she thinks she knows. How sad that even if all that we're true she would actually find humor in it. I'm not a fan of SRS and believe she has some SERIOUS issues. However I'd never find joy in her pain if she were going through it. I find it truly sad that anyone would find joy in someone else's pain and heartache if they were going through it. I can only imagine how it rubs off on her children. Very very sad. like all children they will either follow in her wicked footsteps or see the way she is and I hope they learn to behave the opposite. I truly feel sorry for her and LB and others who find joy when they think someone else is hurting. I don't care how one feels about another - to find it comical or to find joy in that is just sad.

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MrsB
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Re: To clear it up... [Re: M5M5]
      #780950 - 03/24/12 10:03 PM

[quote]I've been saying that for a while now. She calls JL by the same name that one of the trolls do too. [/quote]

Yup. I don't find that to be a coincidence in the least.

She also posts and says the same things the trolls do. Either she's dumb enough to believe every word or she's the one typing them herself. Wouldn't be surprised by either.


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