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BackedinaCorner
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Reged: 09/14/11
Posts: 3
To make a long story short.....
      #762460 - 09/14/11 01:41 PM

HI Everyone, this is my first post here so forgive me in advance! I am hoping for some insight, advice, and a bit of help. Firstly my musband and his ex wife have been divorced for a little over a year, they have a 7 year old daughter, my husband is in the Marines and we are stationed in SC although we as well as the childs mother are orginally from AL. My husband chose to divorce his when after returning from deployment and discovering that she had been cheating on him, there as no attempt to hide the infidelity and the man was even allowed to be around and stay over in my stepdaughters presence. The parents havent gotten along for a long time and the father chose to do a very quick agreeable divorce in order to "keep the peace" I should add that my husband and I are lifelong friends that grew up together and kept in touch and the information I am providing isnt hearsay but what I have experienced as well. Since the divorce my husband has paid child support and followed all court orders regarding the minor child. The mother has bad mouthed my husband to the child over and over again, she has unlawfully entered our home (we have a police report in our favor) she constantly calls texts and harrasses my husband about anything and everything she wants up until recently when we had a mutual protection order put into place to stop it, she interrogates the child when she gets her from us and it should also be noted that we have the child from thursdays through sundays each week and half the summer, she has disregarded the custody agreement and signed the child up for numerous activities without consulting us for example she has cheerleading 4 days a week, 3 practices and a game, 3 of those days are on our weekend, but she refuses to split games with us so we have to carry her to said game but cannot stay without violating the mutual protection order. e have miles and miles of text messages that are either harrassing or reek of her unfit"ness" and NOW my husband is set to get out of the Marines in 6 months and we have been informed that she is pregnant, and has married the man she cheated on my husband with and that he is fixing to get orders from the military to move to Okinawa, Japan and she wants him to sign over his joint custody rights and give her full custody and allow her to move with his daughter to Japan. This may seem like a loaded story and question and it is but Im not sure what is pertinent info and where to start. She has been threatening to take full custody for months with no basis, my husband and her can by no means communicate with each other in a civil manner and by court order I deal with the mother so they wont have to speak. I guess my question is.. what is the likelyhood of a father getting full custody these days? What can we do to stop the harrassment if we contunue to have any custody? Can we stop this move overseas? OR with all of that being said it has recently been suggested to us by friends and a atty that if nothing else in order to stop the constant harrassment the child recieves from the mother due to being with us would it be advisable to consider giving up custody or parental rights in order to give the child a more normal life.. I hate to even write that because I would cringe if I heard someone else say it but we really feel like we are being backed into a corner here. The ex has made it very clear that she plans to make his life as difficult as she possible can for as long as she can and in turn this makes my stepdaughter miserable as well. So I hope someone can help me and I hope that I have given enough detail in this question? We are terrified at making the wrong decision and any help would be much appreciated. Please feel free to ask any more questions if you feel the need and please be kind I truly hope that this does not come off as sounding harsh or uncaring, make no mistake we love this little girl with all of our hearts and have shed many tears over what is the best thing to do. Thank You ...

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d2njti
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Reged: 03/05/08
Posts: 187
Re: To make a long story short..... [Re: BackedinaCorner]
      #762469 - 09/14/11 04:47 PM

"likelyhood of a father getting full custody these days?" Not very likely.

"What can we do to stop the harrassment" Not much.

"Can we stop this move overseas?" Very likely.


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annieo
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Reged: 07/07/10
Posts: 1480
Loc: Pacific Northwest
Re: To make a long story short..... [Re: d2njti]
      #762576 - 09/16/11 10:45 AM

fathers get custody more and more these days and if the cp is not granted the overseas move and goes with spouse then the father in this situation would get custody but that is a lot of ifs - the thing on this fathers "side" is the move is overseas and it is for a new spouse so the likelihood of stopping it is very high although on any given day court is a crap shoot.

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jchristian
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Reged: 03/21/12
Posts: 2
Re: To make a long story short..... [Re: annieo]
      #780650 - 03/21/12 06:14 PM

I think the father should fight for primary custody. Depending on your state, county, judge, and lawyers involved (most custody proceedings are done between lawyers nowadays with very little input from either parent) he may have a very difficult time in getting this custody. Accurate and thorough documentation is essential in him getting his custody. As for the children being relocated overseas, that likelihood is extremely slim. A good place to start working to prevent that is on the military side. Contact the JAG associated with this new guy's unit/ duty station. explaining to them the situation and providing them that documentation will almost definitely either stop his movement overseas or cause the JAG attorney to refuse the proposed parenting plan. Your husband's choice to get out of the military will also be beneficial in the civil proceedings since unfortunately the chance of frequent deployment is often used against a parent in a custody battle. (You are penalized for honorably serving your country) Ultimately though the father making the choice to take on the battle for something he loves and believes in will teach the daughter a valuable life lesson to fight for what you believe in. the inverse would also teach her that her father gave up on her because she "wasn't worth the hassle" as a 10 year army veteran I will never stop fighting to have full custody of my children despite missouri's habit of favoring the mother despite all else.

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