8kidsandshocked
recently joined
Reged: 10/01/11
Posts: 13
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My husband left last fall to start a band at age 50. He left me with his grown daughter and our 7 kids under age 11. He came home before the holidays and agreed to try to work it out.
After spending the next 3 months sleeping 12 hours a day, he snapped, smashed all of our kitchen furniture, and left. I was pregnant at the time.
The pregnancy was ectopic, and I've recovered physically. In the first 2 weeks he was gone he canceled my car ins., dropped my cell service, stole my computer out of the house while we were at church, overdrafted our joint account, spent his $7000 profit sharing bonus from work on tattoos, guitars, a new bed and I can only imagine what else. And I now have. The Court ordered child support as a result of obtaining a full order of protection by his consent.
I am relocating out of state to a farm that is almost rent free as a fixer-upper. It's a mile from my in-laws and just a few hours from my mom and sister. He is threatening me about my move and taking the kids, but we haven't paid the rent in 2 months because I can't afford it. He has agreed to pay me 80% of his weekly pay.
I can raise my kids with family nearby, I can avoid the trauma of putting them in school (and yes, they are very distressed and upset at the thought), and our family life remains as stable as I can keep it.
And for all those wondering and speculating as to his side of the story, I found out last night. He texted a raunchy message to me. Unfortunately it was intended for his 22 year old girlfriend. Yes, 22. I guess we can all agree things make more sense now.
Thanks for the support. I'm sorry for everyone going through this kind of trauma.
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gr8Dad
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/07/04
Posts: 30375
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You got knocked up by a guy who did all that to you during the period when you were seeing if you could work out the marriage?
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Why give a "senior" discount, they have had plenty of time to raise the money...
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hanzblinx
enthusiast
Reged: 08/13/10
Posts: 380
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[quote]7 kids under age 11. [/quote]
This is why women who choose to reproduce with useless thugs, pretty much get what's coming to them. Meanwhile he rides off into the sunset with the 22 year old hottie. If the victim card is what you want, congrats, you now have it. It's not going to raise those 7 kids though. I suggest you drop the victim card and start looking for the one labeled common sense.
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finz
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/17/08
Posts: 6491
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Have you and the 21 year old been able to find employment yet ?
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javajunkiee
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/01/08
Posts: 3158
Loc: SC
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:shaking head:
"... I can avoid the trauma of putting them in school (and yes, they are very distressed and upset at the thought), and our family life remains as stable as I can keep it."
You seriously need counseling. FAST. YOU are harming your kids more than anything their mid-life crisis suffering freak of a father is doing. You're so busy grasping at the past you're hurting their future.
Rather than encouraging your kids to adapt to their changed lives in a POSITIVE manner, you have them "distressed and very upset" at something as adventuresone and normal as school. They wouldn't have that fear if YOU weren't giving it to them.
Yes, stability is a good thing. The way you're trying to give it to them? Smacks of a someone who is trying to control the only thing she has left to control - her kids. Check your motives. Make sure you're not taking the steps you're taking because you're embarassed that you've fallen for your husbands stupidity not once but twice, and that you're holding onto those kids for YOUR dear life because YOU'RE afraid of change.
Because your life has changed, obviously, and what you wanted is GONE.
Your post sounds like your kids are afraid to leave you alone and that you're someone who's on track to successfully raise her kids to be dysfunctional and enabling adults.
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Marriage doesn't come with a money-back guarantee.
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yregna
veteran
Reged: 07/25/06
Posts: 1265
Loc: Oregon
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SEVEN fricken' kids...
Take a bungie cord and wrap it around your thighs...Actually, take 10 bungies and wrap them around. WTF made you do the last pregnancy ?
Can you just explain why you want sperm inside you so bad ? WHY ?
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"Anything free is worth what you pay for it..."
"Climate is what we expect, weather is what we get"
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yregna
veteran
Reged: 07/25/06
Posts: 1265
Loc: Oregon
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Oops, my bad, its obvious she is going for a MLB lineup. Please people, spay and neuter your pets and children.
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"Anything free is worth what you pay for it..."
"Climate is what we expect, weather is what we get"
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javajunkiee
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/01/08
Posts: 3158
Loc: SC
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She didn't get knocked up without help. He can wrap it; to not wrap it means he's just as warped as she is. What man WANTS to have ANOTHER kid with the woman they're divorcing, and add yet ANOTHER 18 yrs of cs responsibility, except a total moron of a man?
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Marriage doesn't come with a money-back guarantee.
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hanzblinx
enthusiast
Reged: 08/13/10
Posts: 380
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[quote] What man WANTS to have ANOTHER kid with the woman they're divorcing, and add yet ANOTHER 18 yrs of cs responsibility, except a total moron of a man? [/quote]
I have a neighbor who was impregnated by her (now ex) husband 2 months after he filed for divorce. Apparently they were going at it like bunnies between court sessions. Unreal.
Women: for the sake of the children please stop having sex with the men that already left you in the dust. I know women are attracted to bad boys and thugs because they are exciting. But just for once, think of the kids before you strip.
Thanks.
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javajunkiee
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/01/08
Posts: 3158
Loc: SC
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...and Men: for the sake of the children please stop having sex with the women you already left in the dust. I realize men just need the ego boost that the woman they dumped will still take them back, or that its too much work to live up to the new chippy's expectations sometimes. But for just once, think of the kids and the cs you'll be obligated to before you slide that zipper down.
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Marriage doesn't come with a money-back guarantee.
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