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doingmybest
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Reged: 04/04/12
Posts: 9
Have no idea what to do.
      #781588 - 04/04/12 08:33 PM

Long story short...

Never married to the father of my son. When I got pregnant, he said get rid of it, broke up with me when I didn't, and told me he never wanted to see me or the baby. Fine with me, you can't make someone love or want thier child.

I moved back home to be near my family in another state for the remainder of the pregnancy and birth. I was allowed to telecommute at work.

Gave birth to my son 4 months ago and there were complications. He was in the NICU and it was touch and go. I let the father know and his text back was "maybe this is god's way of showing you that the baby should have never been born". I have not contacted him since.

My son was able to pull through and is now thriving :-)

I went back to where I used to live for 2 weeks to introduce the baby to friends and co-workers, and it seems the father somehow found out that I was back in town. A week into my vacation, I was served papers to establish paternity and he want's to be primary parent of our son. Found out that he want's to make sure I can't go after him for child support.

Can he do that? The baby and I are living in another state, Ohio. Can they make me return the baby to the father's state California?

Edited by doingmybest (04/04/12 09:41 PM)


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gr8Dad
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Reged: 06/07/04
Posts: 31212
Re: Have no idea what to do. [Re: doingmybest]
      #781651 - 04/05/12 10:57 AM

Well, what do you want? You seem upset that he DIDN'T want to be a father, then you appear upset that he DOES want to be a father.

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Why give a "senior" discount, they have had plenty of time to raise the money...


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kkimberh
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Reged: 03/24/10
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Re: Have no idea what to do. [Re: gr8Dad]
      #781656 - 04/05/12 11:52 AM

Respond to his papers w/ NO OTHER ANSWER Except that he has filed in the wrong jurisdiction, that you and the child live in such and such state/county, that the child was born there and has never lived in his county/state, etc. and that is the proper jurisdiction. It would be best to get an attorney to help you with this.

If you answer with any other answer besides he filed in the wrong jurisdiction, you run the risk of it being allowed to stay.

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I love therapy. It's like a talk show, where I'm the guest and the only topic is me.


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doingmybest
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Reged: 04/04/12
Posts: 9
Re: Have no idea what to do. [Re: gr8Dad]
      #781665 - 04/05/12 01:39 PM

[quote]Well, what do you want? You seem upset that he DIDN'T want to be a father, then you appear upset that he DOES want to be a father. [/quote]

He doesn't want to be a father, he wants to get out of paying child support, which is strange because he filed first.

Since the baby was born 4 months ago, he has not contacted me once about his son. Does that seem like the actions of a man who wants to be a father? I wont let him use the baby as a pawn in whatever game he is playing. Fine you want to be a father, be a father. Ask for a picture or at least ask how your son is doing.


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doingmybest
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Reged: 04/04/12
Posts: 9
Re: Have no idea what to do. [Re: kkimberh]
      #781666 - 04/05/12 01:40 PM

[quote]Respond to his papers w/ NO OTHER ANSWER Except that he has filed in the wrong jurisdiction, that you and the child live in such and such state/county, that the child was born there and has never lived in his county/state, etc. and that is the proper jurisdiction. It would be best to get an attorney to help you with this.

If you answer with any other answer besides he filed in the wrong jurisdiction, you run the risk of it being allowed to stay. [/quote]

Thanks, I have an appointment with an attorney tomorrow.


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gr8Dad
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Re: Have no idea what to do. [Re: doingmybest]
      #781680 - 04/05/12 03:37 PM

So do you only want to be the custodial parent so you can GET child support? If not, then you cannot say the same about him. People have a change of heart all the time. Sometimes they get scared. MEN have post partum depression as well. Unfortunately, society only allows women to use it as an excuse.

NOT slamming you, but give it a chance. We all wish our ex's/other parents would be BETTER parents, and sometimes it is tough to accept it when they DO finally change.

--------------------
Why give a "senior" discount, they have had plenty of time to raise the money...


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SweetLight
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Reged: 01/07/10
Posts: 2060
Re: Have no idea what to do. [Re: gr8Dad]
      #781750 - 04/05/12 10:16 PM

Wow, she doesnít seem to be upset that he didnít want to be a father, not sure where you get that from. She is upset that he said get rid of it, broke up with her when she didn't, and told her he never wanted to see her or the baby. Then when the child was born he said ďmaybe this is god's way of showing you that the baby should have never been bornĒ. She was served papers by him to establish paternity and he suddenly wants to be the primary parent and make sure she canít get any child support. So he files papers with the court, going Zero to 60. And you turn it to her only wanting to be the custodial parent so she can get child support from him?

OMG, you are almost as bad as the lamestream media. If you are going to spin this story and then declare that men have post partum depression, I hope you will atleast provide a source for that disorder among men. Did Josh Powell have it?


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gr8Dad
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Re: Have no idea what to do. [Re: SweetLight]
      #781759 - 04/06/12 02:56 AM

"Wow, she doesnít seem to be upset that he didnít want to be a father, not sure where you get that from. She is upset that he said get rid of it, broke up with her when she didn't, and told her he never wanted to see her or the baby."

Yes, because suggesting an abortion, then abandoning them are HUGE signs that he WANTED to be a parent, right? You are an idiot.

"So he files papers with the court, going Zero to 60. And you turn it to her only wanting to be the custodial parent so she can get child support from him?"

Well, if you had a reading comprehension level a bit higher than a piece of processed cheese spread, you would see that I said NO such thing. I would explain it further to you, but why waste the time, right?

"If you are going to spin this story and then declare that men have post partum depression, I hope you will atleast provide a source for that disorder among men."

Of course, because women can KILL a baby under depression and get away with it, but a guy can't even have second THOUGHTS about parenthood...got it.

--------------------
Why give a "senior" discount, they have had plenty of time to raise the money...


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JCB
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Reged: 08/21/10
Posts: 11
Re: Have no idea what to do. [Re: gr8Dad]
      #782277 - 04/08/12 01:32 PM

No judge is going to pull an infant away from his mother unless extraordinary circumstances are present. That's just not going to happen, period. He won't be the custodial parent. As for jurisdiction, it's going to be where the child was living for those last 4 months. Keep the text message as proof he was aware of his son's birth. No matter what he says, he'd need to explain why it took him 4+ months before he did anything to try to compel you to move back to California (assuming he in fact, did nothing). Get an attorney and file for CS in your jurisdiction. Your son deserves support from your ex-boyfriend. And they both deserve a healthy relationship with each other, regardless of how late dad is coming into this.

gr8Dad - Wow. You reply to people looking for help with aggression that I can only assume is due your perceived unfairness in the way that some domestic situation of yours was handled by the courts. If doingmybest is accurate on what she says, her ex is the reason that great dads get the shaft in court. So why not direct the aggression more appropriately, which would be at prick-deadbeats that cause the courts to equate penis with lesser-parent.


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gr8Dad
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Re: Have no idea what to do. [Re: JCB]
      #782339 - 04/09/12 03:33 PM

"If doingmybest is accurate on what she says, her ex is the reason that great dads get the shaft in court."

Nope, he had second thoughts when he found out she was pregnant. Was it right? Nope. But it happened. He now wants to be a parent. Well, she wants child support, she has to share the parenting rights.

"So why not direct the aggression more appropriately, which would be at prick-deadbeats that cause the courts to equate penis with lesser-parent."

Well, if I wanted to direct my anger at the people who are WORST at paying support, they don't have penis's, they have vaginas, but thanks for playing.

--------------------
Why give a "senior" discount, they have had plenty of time to raise the money...


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