DMM
recently joined
Reged: 03/19/12
Posts: 1
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My husband and I have been cohabitating although in separate bedrooms and have not been sexually active for over a year. Are there any laws that state this is grounds for a divorce?
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googledad
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 12/31/05
Posts: 10207
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It may be constructive desertion .
Willful refusal of sex, without just cause and nonperformance of other marital duties as to practically destroy the home life. The denial of sex alone does not constitute desertion. The spouse also has to stop carrying out the mutual responsibilities of the marital relationship.
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BeachBabeRN
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 01/16/06
Posts: 3049
Loc: VA for 21 years, NC forever!
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In VA, you can states that you've been separated for a year and no one is going to question that -- you've constructively been living apart for a year. Especially in a no fault action, this will fly.
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Maury
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/02/04
Posts: 8146
Loc: This Asylum --->
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Under VA law, being separated means one of the parties has left the marriage and presumably the marital home with the intent not to return. You cannot be separated while living in the same house..
However, there are exceptions. Separation under the same roof is possibl but proving to an inquiring Judge that you are liiving separately within the same residence can be very difficult. At a minimum, you would likely be required to show that you have separated your finances. If a court does not accepty the contention, you may be asked to come back after 1 year of living separately in your own residences.
According to websites on VA law, the things you must present to be considered living together but separated include:
No Sex with spouse
You must present yourselves as being separated to others.
Use separate bedrooms.
Do not engage in romantic or sexual intimacy.
Each spouse should shop for his or her own food, prepare his or her own meals; should not shop for the other, including clothing and other necessities.
Do not use the other spouse's food or other purchases.
Do not eat meals together (exceptions: holidays or children's birthdays).
Each spouse should be responsible for caring for his or her own space within the home.
Each spouse should do his or her own laundry.
Use a separate and secure computer and be VERY careful of how you use that computer.
Use a separate and secure telephone/cell phone for personal and business calls.
Establish separate checking accounts.
Cease socializing together, e.g., do not attend parties, movies, theater, etc. together.
Do not attend church together.
When there are minor children, interact as parents only where strictly necessary from the child's perspective and their wellbeing, e.g., it would be acceptable for the parents to go together to a meeting with a school official relative to problems confronting a particular child, but less appropriate for the parents to ride together and sit together at a child's school play or soccer game.
Cease gift giving between spouses for such occasions as birthdays, Christmas, anniversary, Valentine's Day, etc.
Make known to close associates, relatives, etc. that you are not living as man and wife, but are separated within the residence as part of getting divorced in Virginia.
Have an objective third party come to the home from time to time to personally observe the two spouses separate and distinct living quarters (bedrooms, bathrooms, etc.).
Utilize separate entrances to the residence if feasible.
Be prepared to explain reasons for living separately under the same roof, e.g., financial considerations; unavailability of separate residence; easing children transition to parental separation, etc.
Do not role play as the happy couple in front of neighbors and social acquaintances. You cannot hold yourselves out as husband and wife to the community, as this will be seen as cohabitation.
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