Char9
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/03/05
Posts: 2942
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So SD is finally moving out, divorce papers have been signed (I think). She called and asked H if he could help and he said yes. I refused to go. I will no longer condone her behavior. I also will no longer bytch to H about it. It is his decision, however I will say that lately he is beginning to feel as if they don't care if he is around or not, unless they need him for something. His son hasn't called since he left in Feb. He has called his mother at least once a week. WTF? I've sent him cookies which he thanked me for, and brownies which he didn't. Not sure if he got them, but you'd think he'd at least say something since I asked? H is hurt, and pissed at his son. He's emailed him a few times, and texted him telling him to call him. Nothing. I think H is reaching the end of his rope with the kids. He said the other day that the gkids just grump at him, don't care if he goes to the games, and pretty much ignore us. They hang all over BM and her H though. We are always going to be 2nd class citizens, and H is beginning to realize it. FINALLY! I won't put myself in an uncomfortable position anymore. I am worthy and caring and just can't do this to myself.
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LexieBelle
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 11/07/10
Posts: 3680
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You guys seem to do too much "score keeping". Extremely unhealthy and a huge turnoff. Speaking from my own experience with that type of parent? I'll deliberately NOT contact them, bc of that. You just sense it.. It's annoying. I'll always contact the other, less pressure etc parent. They weren't a great parent, pretty much emotionally absent but the other parent? Is like a vacuum sucking air out a room. You know every movement is tracked and tabulated.. And yup, god forbid the other parent get more attention {{{rolls eyes}}}.
Not proud of you at all, more of the same, just different approach.
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Char9
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/03/05
Posts: 2942
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Give me a effing break. H has bent over backwards to help his kids. It isn't a matter of BM getting more attention. She has more than once told the gson that H is an alien. He always helps the kids whenever they need something; moving, fixing stuff, etc. I am not keeping score. I am doing what is in MY best interest right now. And that is to stay the f*ck away from the skids right now b/c I am pissed at their attitudes. I have already told H that if SD's bf moves in with her and the kids after she just moved out and divorced her H? I will no longer be there. He can see them whenever he likes, but I won't go out of my way to talk to her, or see the grandkids. I wash my hands of the whole situation. I am done feeling guilty for something that happened 14 years ago. BM can have all the glory and be the great "parent" in her kids eyes. I could give a rats azz anymore. I am going to take care of ME for once. And if that means never seeing the skids again, or BM for that matter then so be it. I have to protect myself emotionally and this is the step to do it.
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SRS
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 11/05/10
Posts: 2161
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Did his son go off with the military in February? Just wondering. We were limited to one call a week - maybe.
Receiving cookies and stuff was a huge thing that we got in trouble for.
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Char9
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/03/05
Posts: 2942
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Yes, he went in the end of February. I understand that he has not been able to call or contact many people. All I was asking for was a phone call to his dad at the very least. He takes the time to post on FB, and call his mother every week, how about his dad? H has emailed, texted, and FB him. No response. The one time he did try to skype, and H didn't catch it in time? H went on and tried to get in touch with him but SS "had to go". Hm, time for your mom but not your dad? It hurts H, and I realize that SS is in a very strict program. But at least call for 5 minutes to say hello or let H know he is ok. I am not asking for that much am I?
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annieo
veteran
Reged: 07/07/10
Posts: 1410
Loc: Pacific Northwest
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When my nephews were in basic training they were only allowed the one call when they got there and then sometime after they were allowed one call a week, in addition to receiving letters (our entire extended family wrote) and this was just a couple years ago, it is the Navy, don't know what branch your ss went into.
I wrote my one nephew four or so letters and I got one in return, which I really did not expect but was cool to receive it =)
I do not get where your ss is getting all this free time and computer access?
When my brother was in basic we did not hear from him but the one call and letters - this was however 27 years ago.
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LexieBelle
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 11/07/10
Posts: 3680
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Why and HOW are you keeping SUCH close tabs on who he calls when?????? What business is it of yours, or even your husband's, how often he calls his mother? Jiminy crickets. You're scorekeeping. It's neither normal, nor is it healthy.
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Redlegg
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 10/05/06
Posts: 26679
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Are you kidding me, post on his FB, tell him he has one week to call and say hey, if he does not call by Sunday 2359hrs, you will be sending cookies every day for the following week, and if you do not get a call on the next Sunday, the same thing....and if you really want to have some fun, make sure you send lots of letters with Manly return addresses, and soak them in old spice. I am guessing you will hear from him pretty quick......ok, just kidding. But if you know he is posting on FB, why not post and just leave a message of encouragement or something along those lines. Can't make him do what you want, but you can let him know....
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Char9
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/03/05
Posts: 2942
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LOL. I have posted some on his FB when he posts his rank updates. Usually only once every 2 weeks, once in a while he posts in the middle of the night during the week. I'll just keep saying encouraging things on FB. Hopefully, now that he is "up there", he will have more free time since he has 29 days left of training. It's Officer's training for the AF.
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Char9
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/03/05
Posts: 2942
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How do I know? B/c BM told me. I am not score keeping, just hurt for H that he hasn't taken 5 minutes to call his own father since Feb. 28th. But he has time to call his mother, post on FB? You either hate me and H or you just don't get it. You are very bitter and don't have a clue how the other parent may be feeling.
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