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MamaKitty
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Reged: 01/30/06
Posts: 1632
Loc: California
Dog Custody
      #78310 - 02/14/06 07:54 PM

Can you top this?

This is my second go-round in separation. The last separation lasted about a year, but just sort of went away because the BUMD (between little league and regular visitation) was at my house almost every evening, eating dinner with us and everything.

This time I am determined not to have that happen again, so I am avoiding some of the things that I think led to that happening last time; no phone calls, no meals together, etc. I started putting the youngest's carseat on the porch when he picked them up at 5:15, and then he kept opening my car and putting it back in when they returned at 7:20. I asked him several times to just leave the seat on the porch, but he wouldn't. I asked him for my car key back (he claimed in papers that each of our cars was to be our sole property), which he grudgingly did, but then tried to start fighting when he realized he was locked out of my car and had to put the seat on the porch.

Then, I realized he was opening the front door if I didn't get there fast enough, letting himself in, and then visiting with the dogs before pickup. He emailed me saying he wanted to give the dogs a fleabath but I told him they have a grooming appt. He has not offered any money for child support, but he offered money if I couldn't pay the groomer, which I declined.

Each time he has come to pick them up I have been more organized so there would be no reason he would need to come in, which is making him mad, and today had the kids on the porch (so he had no reason to come inside), which he wasn't pleased about. At the gate when I handed him the carseat he asked "You aren't letting me visit the dogs anymore?". I told him to not start anything up. Then he says, 'Can I have Adobe?". And I said no, you cannot. Then he starts to complain. At this point the kids start telling him 'just get another dog, daddy'. He keeps up the complaining that I got everything- the kids, the car, the house... but I say no, I haven't gotten anything, he's gotten everything he's asked for, and now he wants my dog? No, he's my dog. So then he threatens me that he is going to ask his lawyer to force me to give him the dog. I told him yeah, talk to his lawyer about it...at the same time he's talking about the house, because he still doesn't seem to understand that nobody just 'gets' the house, it will have to be sold to split whatever equity there is. And then I turned and walked back into the house because I didn't want a fight.

Yes, I got the dog while we were married. I went down to the SPCA for weeks looking for the right dog. I paid for him, I got him fixed, taught him tricks, to play ball. I take him to the groomers. After I got Adobe, I got Maggie, (to keep him company) from the pound later, and take care of both of them. We've had them about 3-4 years. I consider them my dogs, but NOW the BUMD (after seeing how good he was at ball with me, taught him to chase frisbees, cats, other dogs, people (meaning generally bad behaving dog)...taught him to jump over the fence so now he runs away several times a day if not watched, and has bitten 3 people since the BUMD started 'playing' with him) wants him.

He refused to take the dog for training last summer as promised, and when he left us at the first of the year, I had been having the dog trained at my house a couple of times a week, and he'd gotten a little better. Since then I haven't had the trainer come back because I can't afford it.

Can his lawyer ask for the dog? Has anyone heard of someone doing that? It's kind of rude- he's not even asking for the other dog, just the one that plays frisbee. When he left the last time he didn't ask for the dog.

Is it really about the dog, or is it more likely he's getting p*ssed because I'm not letting him into my car, or letting him 'hang around' in the house before or after pickups? Last time he complained that I had them say goodbye on the porch, and I said, 'would you like it if I came over to your house, just walked in, and then walked all over inside any time I wanted?' He said it was different because I hadn't lived in his house. I cannot even talk to him on the phone without us fighting, so I don't want to talk to him in person, and I'm getting resentful that I keep having to see him every other day. I shouldn't have to see him in my house.

Please answer- when parents switch off, they don't actually have to go inside the other person's house every time, do they? And also, any thoughts about my dog would be appreciated.

c


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jaiye
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Reged: 10/27/05
Posts: 860
Re: Dog Custody [Re: MamaKitty]
      #78330 - 02/14/06 08:59 PM

Yes your husband can ask for and possibly get one of your dogs in the divorce. My husband asked for one of mine and the judge ordered it. It has been 2 months since we got the judgement and he still has not picked up the dog. And in fact was and as far as I know still is living with his mother who is not going to let him have the dog at her house.

My question is this, How long do I have to hold and care for the dog and at what point if there is one, can I say no you can't have the dog without being in contempt of court?


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MamaKitty
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Reged: 01/30/06
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Re: Dog Custody [Re: jaiye]
      #78332 - 02/14/06 09:13 PM

I just don't see why he can't get his own dog. I picked this one out, paid for it, take it to the groomers every 6wks...

It's a poodle! And the BUMD is 6foot 3. They look silly together. So he wants to take just the one, leave it at home from 5am till 5pm, and my other dog has to sit here by herself? Yes, I know he likes the dog, but he didn't try to take him last time when he left.

How did your x get custody, anyway? If I have receipts from the pound when I bought him, and records from the vet where I took him, and records at the groomers, receipts for his recent training, how can he get custody? Is it because according to the law he's just a possession, like a piece of furniture that has to be split?

I can just imagine the court telling me I have to give up custody because I have the other one... or worse, force me to also give visitation on a schedule with the BUMD. With my luck dog visitation days would be different than the bratties' visitation days, and I'd end up again having to see him every single day.

Why can't he be just like other xs that hate their xs so much they avoid them like the plague, would never dare set foot in their house, and who would insist I provide transportation for the bratties visits? I would love to drive the bratties over every time if it meant I could just drop them off and not have to see his face at/in my house again.

What was the judge's reasoning behind giving your dog to your ex?

c


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getnadivorce
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Reged: 08/22/05
Posts: 791
Loc: Illinois
Re: Dog Custody [Re: MamaKitty]
      #78353 - 02/14/06 09:45 PM

I knew someone that got divorce and they fought about the dog more than anything else. The judge actually found it comical that the dog was the major issue. When the whole doggy visitation thing came up, she walked away because she wanted nothing more to do with him and she didn't want to put herself through it.

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almostheaven
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Reged: 07/13/04
Posts: 10468
Loc: West Virginia
MamaKitty and Jaiye... [Re: jaiye]
      #78455 - 02/15/06 09:09 AM

Mama, he can ask for the dog, yes. However, if you can show YOU are the one who actually got the dog and cared for it (see if the trainer will testify), and since the dog has been with you...well, it's a lot like kids in that respect. The judge isn't likely to order the dog change residence after you've been separated for so long with the dog living solely with you. AND...if the kids stay with you, the dog is more likely to follow the kids as a family pet situation rather than being given to an NCP.

Jaiye...get back to court. If you can show he hasn't picked up the dog, wait a few more months just to insure you've still had the dog for some time, then go back to court. Odds are that you can get the ruling reversed.

--------------------
Char Fox


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almostheaven
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Reged: 07/13/04
Posts: 10468
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It's not a laughing matter at times... [Re: getnadivorce]
      #78456 - 02/15/06 09:12 AM

as our pets can be nearly as close to as as kids sometimes. I know I cried my eyes out when my kitty was put to sleep. She'd been with me for over 13 years and was dying. The only thing I could do for her was either watch it or ease her misery.

But it still can be funny, depending on how you look at it. So, no offense intended to the dog lovers (I love em too), but....

Everybody I know who has a dog usually calls him "Rover" or "Spot". I call mine Sex. Now, Sex has been very embarrassing to me. When I went to the City Hall to renew the dog's license, I told the clerk that I would like a license for Sex. He said, "I would like to have one too!" Then I said, "But she is a dog!" He said he didn't care what she looked like. I said, "You don't understand. ... I have had Sex since I was nine years old." He replied, "You must have been quite a strong boy." When I decided to get married, I told the minister that I would like to have Sex at the wedding. He told me to wait until after the wedding was over. I said, "But Sex has played a big part in my life and my whole world revolves around Sex." He said he didn't want to hear about my personal life and would not marry us in his church. I told him everyone would enjoy having Sex at the wedding. The next day we were married at the Justice of the Peace. My family was barred from the church from then on.

When my wife and I went on our honeymoon, I took the dog with me. When we checked into the motel, I told the clerk that I wanted a room for me and my wife and a special room for Sex. He said that every room in the motel is a place for sex. I said, "You don't understand. ... Sex keeps me awake at night." The clerk said, "Me too!"

One day I entered Sex in a contest. But before the competition began, the dog ran away. Another contestant asked me why I was just looking around. I told him that I was going to have Sex in the contest. He said that I should have sold my own tickets. "You don't understand," I said, "I hoped to have Sex on TV." He called me a show off.

When my wife and I separated, we went to court to fight for custody of the dog. I said, "Your Honor, I had Sex before I was married but Sex left me after I was married." The Judge said, "Same here!"

Last night Sex ran off again. I spent hours looking all over for her. A cop came over and asked me what I was doing in the alley at 4 o'clock in the morning. I said, "I'm looking for Sex." -- My case comes up next Thursday.

--------------------
Char Fox


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almostheaven
Carpal \'Tunnel
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Reged: 07/13/04
Posts: 10468
Loc: West Virginia
OMG!... [Re: almostheaven]
      #78457 - 02/15/06 09:13 AM

The UBBC code is working!

Quote:

Hallelujah!




--------------------
Char Fox


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almostheaven
Carpal \'Tunnel
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Reged: 07/13/04
Posts: 10468
Loc: West Virginia
Re: OMG!... [Re: almostheaven]
      #78460 - 02/15/06 09:15 AM

But it doesn't work on the CS board??? WTF!

--------------------
Char Fox


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jaiye
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Reged: 10/27/05
Posts: 860
Re: MamaKitty and Jaiye... [Re: almostheaven]
      #78570 - 02/15/06 11:31 AM

Do you think I can take him to small claims court for boarding fees? He got the dog because we had several since I was a show breeder. On one hand he claimed the dogs were "all mine" and he had nothing to do with them and then he tried to put a rediculous amount of value to them and then whined that he wanted one of them even though he was not in a position to take him. He tried to put a $6000 value on dogs that are almost all over the age of 10. I think somewhere in his pea-sized brain he thought the judge would offset his 401K for the value of the dogs.

It was all just game playing on his part.


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jaiye
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Reged: 10/27/05
Posts: 860
Re: Dog Custody [Re: MamaKitty]
      #78573 - 02/15/06 11:35 AM

Remember anything purchased during the marriage is marital property and most judges do look at animals as property.

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