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Reged: 04/14/12
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my military husband has a fiance
      #783093 - 04/14/12 09:01 PM

I am separated from my military spouse who is a commissioned officer. Him and I have been married for over 10 years (he was not in the service for all of this time). I asked for a separation when I began to fear for my safety two years ago, because he has an explosive temper. I asked him to complete anger management as one of the prerequisites to reconciling. Instead of using the separation to get help, he begins to see other women, and today, I see an ANNOUNCEMENT in a military online newspaper from him to his fiance.

During the course of the separation, he has repeatedly abandoned me financially, and this is the last straw. As a disabled military veteran, I am familiar with the UCMJ. His conduct has been repeatedly unbecoming of an officer, and his commanding officer seems to be aware and complicit in his behavior. I have spoke to his CO on more than one occasion about my husband failing to support me financially, so he is fully aware of my husband's marital status. I also have contacted the base IG about his behavior in the past, but it appears that his leadership, and him, are not living up to the standards that all soldiers are taught.

My spouse was an enlisted soldier when I met him, and I had two undergraduate degrees. I helped him get through school, but unfortunately, I had to leave the military when my health failed. Now, he wants to redirect BAH money for my care and give it to his fiance, and he refuses to consider giving me alimony for a few years while I work on becoming financially independent. I saved the article from the online newspaper, and I am just trying to figure out what to do with this information. Any advice would be appreciated.

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Carpal \'Tunnel

Reged: 11/07/05
Posts: 8852
Re: my military husband has a fiance [Re: Cheer4life]
      #783157 - 04/16/12 10:43 AM

Since you guys are separated for such a long time - I doubt his command will care much regarding him seeing other people. And unless you have kids - they will likely not get involved in issues of him supporting you financially.

My suggestion would be to hire an attorney, move forward with your divorce, and figure out how you will support yourself on what you bring in. If you get alimony, it probably won't be forever.

Forgiveness is...letting go of the hope that the past can be changed.

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