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momtothreekids
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Reged: 05/01/12
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court again
      #784162 - 05/01/12 11:40 AM

I am new here and I need some serious thoughts on what to do. My ex husband and I divorced last year. I have since remarried. We were seperated for a long time before the divorce was final, mostly trying to sort the divorce out. I left my husband after finding out that he had opened up 18 credit cards in not only both of our names but some in my name without my permsission. He ran us in to debt that we could not even pay the mortgage. After he left the house I chose to do a loan modification to help with the $15,000 in back payments owed. I did this all on my own, and we are now caught up with the mortgage. Our divorce stated that I was to refianance immediately to remove ex's name. Ex and I both had to file for bankruptcy, and when I did I had no idea I could not refinance. I did reaffirm the mortgage. I assumed my new husband would be the main borrower and I would be to co-borrower since I had to be on the loan to refinance since I am on the title to the house. Well I can't! So now my ex is taking me back to court next week to set a timeline to refinance but since I have to wait until Feb 2014 to refi due to FHA regulations my attorney thinks the judge will order me to sell the house. This is the only house my kids have known. They walk to school, they walk to the park, we are surrounded by many friends and we are happy here. I worked so hard at keeping my house! This is the perfect white picket fence neighborhood. My husband has perfect credit so he can buy the house outright, HOWEVER there is a 10% down payment required with a loan from our credit union or if we do an FHA loan it is 3.5% down. We can't afford either. The FHA might be harder to get. We just spent $2000 on this attorney for court. Ex has other issues that are to be addressed at this court date, which are petty and stupid but I know I needed an atty.
Does anyone have any suggestions on what we could do? I lose sleep at night, I am cranky around my family, and I am stressed. I don't want my kids to see me like this. We are a very happy family (the kids are not fans of their dad which is NOT my doing). It would crush them to know he was doing this and we might lose the house. They are 8 and 10 and I have a newborn with my current husband.
Thank you so much!


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Renny
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Re: court again [Re: momtothreekids]
      #784204 - 05/01/12 10:22 PM

Does your divorce agreement spell out what is to be done if you cannot refi? If not, it's a poorly drafted agreement. The "immediately" part is very unfortunate. You should have informed yourself before signing whether the refi was a certainty or not. Its not unusual to have a year or two to refi, fter which the house is to be sold aggressively if it doesnt pan out.

The judge may order you to sell the house.


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momtothreekids
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Re: court again [Re: Renny]
      #784224 - 05/02/12 08:40 AM

It does not state what is to be done if we do not refinance.

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MinnesotaMom
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Re: court again [Re: momtothreekids]
      #784363 - 05/06/12 12:44 PM

If you can't afford something, you lose it.

You expect your ex to help you out, but you are enforcing stuff like ROFR?

Would you expect anything different?


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finz
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Re: court again [Re: momtothreekids]
      #784563 - 05/11/12 05:26 AM

"It would crush them to know he was doing this and we might lose the house."

*******************************************

Then if they ever find out, make sure they understand that "he" didn't do ANYTHING wrong in wanting his name off of the mortgage. YOU were supposed to have done that. It's not his fault that you didn't know that you couldn't refi so soon after a bankruptcy.

It's fine to still dislike your ex for his financial games during your marriage. Don't blame him for the entirely reasonable and legally proper desire to be off of YOUR mortgage now that you are divorced.

No offense, but if your new hubby isn't old enough/established enough in his career to have assets equal to 3.5% of the value of your home and you are still trying to recover from a costly divorce and bankruptcy, I would have had a much longer engagement and would not have chosen to have another baby until I was financially stable.


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javajunkiee
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Re: court again [Re: momtothreekids]
      #785286 - 05/25/12 05:46 PM

First off as other stated, its not your ex's fault you might lose the house. He has the right to not have his credit affected by his ex-wife's ability to pay bills, or have issues with his own credit due to high debt to income ratios. His past skill with finances aside, he'll plead "fresh start being delayed by my ex-wife", and the judge will give you the evil eye.

That said, sell your house to your new husband. Your current mtg company may have programs to assist with the financing. Does your H have a 401k he can borrow against for the down payment? Stock he could sell? If not have your atty prepare to argue strongly about the efforts you've made to take care of business, and that you'd like nothing more to have his name off the house you worked so hard to save from BK.

If worse comes to worse, your kids will be upset, and then they'll adapt. You'll likely have a harder time adjusting to losing the picture perfect fresh start. Whatever you do, don't blame daddy to the kids. Doing that will hurt THEM more than him.

eta: Honestly? What ex wants to see an ex's new spouse living in a home with THEIR family and their name still on it? Would you? If you're having other legal spats with him, this is collateral damage - you'll have to do what you have to do. I don't know YOUR employment situation, but if you don't have a job or a home-based business going to add $$ to savings, I'd get moving on it. If the judge gives you anything over 6mos to re-fi it'll be a miracle IMO. You need the $$.

--------------------
Marriage doesn't come with a money-back guarantee.


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Goodmom
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Re: court again [Re: momtothreekids]
      #785296 - 05/26/12 05:26 AM

Did both you and your ex reaffirm the house or just you?

If it was just you, well, your ex is no longer liable of the debt. And it will show on his credit history as being discharged in a BK. You refinancing is not going to change that.

Either way, a judge cannot force a bank to refinance. Bring all of your paperwork (including the denial) showing that you attempted to comply with the court order but were unable to. And if your ex did not reaffirm the mortgage,well, bring in proof that you refinancing isn't going to change anything on his credit rating.


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