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Reged: 04/29/12
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How To Cope??
      #784485 - 05/09/12 12:02 AM

MY wife and I are getting a divorce after dating for 1ya and being married for 7yrs. We have two children (2yr & 6yr). I met her after getting out of active duty. We had our first child and then I deployed for year with the Natl Guard when he was two, while deployed she wanted a divorce, but changed her mind and we were doing great when I got back. We bought a home and had our youngest son. She said that she was not happy, that we fought all the time (about little stuff like who was picking up kids and what not) noting major like cheating drinking or what not. I am in law enfrocement so I work odd hrs and with what I do in my field can and do get called out at various times, which had added stress to our marriage. I offered to get out of it and counseling, both of which she stated were not an option and that it was to late, that she is sick of worrying abut when the next fight will be. I know she wants a divorce and she deserves to be happy, but I still love her so much. Does anyone out there have any tricks about how to cope with this emotinal rollercoaster? Does it ever get any easier? I like to consider myself pretty level headed but I cannot control my feelings, I will just start sobbing all of sudden. I guess I am just looking for tricks that may help me through this.

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Reged: 05/17/12
Posts: 4
Re: How To Cope?? [Re: central74]
      #784800 - 05/17/12 07:49 PM

Not really sure how to cope in a healthy way. I was with my husband for 16 years and married for ten. We have two sons. I loved him wildly but he was not very good to me. He cheated on me at least once that I know of. He lied to me alot and never showed me any affection. I had enough one day, packed my things and left him. He followed me and the children to the state where I moved to. After talking a few months I decided to reconcile with him. We fought a little but it was sooo much better. Then 3 years later it started again. The lying and the lack of affection. He did not cheat on me again but I felt that he was clearly not into me as I was him. So I forced him out of my home. Now its me and the children. I stopped eating, I stopped drinking water, I have just enough life in me to go to work,get counseling and take care of my kids. The crazy part is im a 35 year old beautiful, loyal and hardworking woman. Men would chase me constantly but I only ever had an eye for my husband. I will never understand how he could not see how wonderful I was and why he could not give me the love I desperately needed from him. I may move on eventually but im sure I will be the one to die with the broken heart. He will probably find a new girlfriend and forget I ever existed. Its strange how unfair life can be.... lol

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Reged: 06/05/05
Posts: 926
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Re: How To Cope?? [Re: central74]
      #784805 - 05/18/12 06:44 AM

have you considered counseling to help you cope, a "good" counselor can give you coping or as Dr Phil says, a bag of skills to use.....

Keep busy on your free time, exercise, lean on friends, family, take up new hobbies, the time you spend with your kids, make it as fun and easy as it can be....cherish each moment with them, letting them know even though mom and dad are divorcing its going to be okay

join a support group, go to church...

its hard when a marriage ends and the one being left doesn't want it to end but once the leaver leaves not muchyou can do..

it does get better with time
but it takes a lot of work
recovery is possible
and the best recovery is to come out of it
learning from your experience, not feeling bitter or angry and in some way being a stronger person

good luck

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Reged: 06/04/12
Posts: 11
Re: How To Cope?? [Re: central74]
      #786175 - 06/04/12 02:32 PM

My name is Sherry Calhoun and I'm casting a new documentary based on a growing trend in relationships. I am looking for couples who are Divorced or Legally Separated and are still Living Together. Please feel free to pass the information on to your clients, friends, family members, or anyone with an interesting story to share. If you have further questions, I can be reached directly at the number provided below.

Sherry Calhoun
Casting Producer

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