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Char9
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Reged: 06/03/05
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OT Update -Therapy, Skids, BM
      #784571 - 05/11/12 09:52 AM

I have taken your advise, and have been avoiding any situation that places me near or the potential to have to interact with BM or the kids right now. As I told H the other night, my sanity, emotional and psychological well being are my priority. I am skating on very thin ice right now, and will not subject myself to a situation that could do more damage to my already fragile self esteem. I have not attended any of gs's games the past two weeks. I am either in therapy or just don't go. Besides he only "growls" at H when he sees him, and doesn't even care if I am there or not. The gkids usually don't interact with us/me, they cling to BM. That's fine, they spend most of their time with her anyway. I will no longer feel I am not part of the family. I am NOT responsible for BM's lack of self esteem, I do not have the power to make her feel bad b/c she isn't going to be involved in SS air force graduation. The nephews are doing the "pinning" and the dinner is for spouses. I will no longer stay in the room when the girls start talking about how bad their mom feels. I will change the subject or walk away. MY mental health is more important. H has been a rock, concerned especially after the "suicide" discussion we had last week. And I told him to lock up the guns and take the keys. Not that I would EVER consider it, or take action. That as the therapist said is an angry and selfish action for a long term problem. I have been having melt downs and panic attacks the last week. Found out it was stopping the meds. Am now on Xanax for panic and lexapro for depression. I pray to GOD this works, and that I will get the tools I need to get past my feelings of guilt, etc. H has been understanding, and I worried that he would "leave me" after hearing that his ex had given him hell when he didn't take her seriously when she "threatened" suicide herself. Cry wolf so many times, people don't listen. He told me that if I need him to take me somewhere, I need to tell him. He is not going anywhere. He is in this relationship for the long haul. I am grateful for his understanding and sticking by me.

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Buckeye
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Reged: 12/08/05
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Re: OT Update -Therapy, Skids, BM [Re: Char9]
      #784574 - 05/11/12 11:19 AM

I think you H's last statement will do for your emotional help - it is wonderful knowing they will stick by you thru thick and thin.

When I had my breast cancer operation and couldn't move either of my arms, I told my hubby that he better hope I didn't have to make a BM. He told me no problem, it will wash off. Made me love him all over again.


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annieo
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Reged: 07/07/10
Posts: 1496
Re: OT Update -Therapy, Skids, BM [Re: Buckeye]
      #784580 - 05/11/12 12:17 PM

Char

After you gain the tools you need to build your self-esteem and understand that you are just as worthy as the rest of us you will be able to be healthy and be in situations that are hard but not let the situation take over your emotions and thoughts of how you may have or may not have had a hand in creating the situation and even if you did create the situation - you do not have to keep reliving it - that's why it is called a past - you can move forward every day.

Your H sticking by you and helping you is really great and should help you emotionally if even just a little because you need to take those moments you feel good and remember them when the tough time hits and the work you do about your mothers abuse of you will be HARD there is no way around that and with your fragile state I hope your therapist goes slowly and is one of those therapists that are worth their weight in gold because your life can really change with his/her help and your dedication to the work you need to do.

You need to change your internal dialogue from the one you have now - you need to tell yourself you are worthy everyday - several times a day until you believe it....because you are =)


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