elliesmom
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 11/07/05
Posts: 8834
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It will just look bad.
Personally I would have approached her and asked how she wanted to handle that. Agree to an amount and quit splitting lunches, extra curriculars, etc., and move on. Sort of a "since I won't be seeing the kids 50-50 anymore and you will be handling the EC activities, perhaps we chould work out some CS amount so that when things come up like lunches or baseball you don't have to wait to get it from me?" Type of email. Or text if you prefer. And see what happens. If she hasn't filed you don't have to worry about backdating, it being a gift etc. If she does file then I would want the money to go through attorneys or CSE before I paid it.
IMO you don't want to be arguing about money while you are arguing about how much time you get to see your kids. You don't want to to piss of a judge over money and then have it reflected in your custody agreement, KWIM?
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Forgiveness is...letting go of the hope that the past can be changed.
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Nicole
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 01/25/05
Posts: 1762
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Good idea but honestly do you think she would work with him on it? I just don't see that happening right now. So then he shouldn't worry about filing? That is why we are continuing to pay for half of everything is because DH does support his kids.
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elliesmom
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 11/07/05
Posts: 8834
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If it involves her getting more money? I am betting she will be willing to participate. Do you even NEED her "work" - does your state take into account both parents incomes? If it does - trying running numbers - what is the difference between her say making min wage 40 hrs a week, what she probably makes, etc. Usually the CP income doesn't matter much unless one parent makes A LOT of money.
You can certainly LEGALLY wait until she files, but in my experience, it really impresses judges when parents financially support their kids even when they don't HAVE to. And lets face it - half of the extras is not exactly support when she has them all the time.
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Forgiveness is...letting go of the hope that the past can be changed.
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Nicole
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 01/25/05
Posts: 1762
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i just figure she will fight the amount even if we do it by state standards. Yes i do believe the state takes in to account both incomes. She is working at a factory so i am guessing she makes more than min. wage.
i agree with your last paragraph.
Our state has the option to take in account the amount of time DH spends with skids. if you use the amount of time he would see them based on what they are doing right now, it decreases it by $100.
ETA: if not using her income, the support is $200 more
Edited by Nicole (05/21/12 04:21 PM)
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Nicole
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 01/25/05
Posts: 1762
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What about during the summer(which has already started) while DH has the kids as much as BM? I don't want this to sound unfair or like he isn't wanting to pay but if we have them just as much as her during these summer months, should he wait to file until school starts? Also, if she/he files and gets support going through the state does it automatically void the requirement in the current CO to not split costs? I wouldn't think it would. I would think she would still expect him to pay half of all those costs. I don't even know what child support is suppose to "cover" I assumed it was for just basic food, housing, etc, not extra-curriculars or medical costs???????
ETA: I guess that would be factored in with the amount of days he gets according to the form we found online. It can go by how many days DH gets them. What if DH would like more but BM isn't giving him more should he take that into account? Sorry, I am just trying to figure this all out.
ETA: their current CO had child support calculated and stated what DH would pay had it been enforced. Would/could they go by that or since it was deemed unreasonable for him to pay since they had 50/50 would that not even matter?
Edited by Nicole (05/21/12 04:57 PM)
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SRS
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 11/05/10
Posts: 2161
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......it really impresses judges when parents financially support their kids even when they don't HAVE to. And lets face it - half of the extras is not exactly support when she has them all the time.
You bet it does. If he was really interested in supporting the kids, he'd have been paying already and filed a temp order with the court. He doesn't need his attorney to do that. She has the kids all the time so her expenses have increased. 1/2 of the ECs? Really?
ETA: It bit my ex in the rear during court because he didn't want to pay CS until it was ordered. Bad advice from his attorney to not support his kids.
Edited by SRS (05/21/12 05:12 PM)
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SRS
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 11/05/10
Posts: 2161
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Unless they had changed the CO through CSE or the courts, he may be in a heap of trouble.
In a past post, you said that you guys had already figured this stuff out when you planned the move - to make it financially worth it for yourselves and your sks. Guess not?
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Nicole
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 01/25/05
Posts: 1762
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heap of trouble for what? finacially worth it what?
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SRS
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 11/05/10
Posts: 2161
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If you have a CO to pay CS and you don't - You change it on a verbal agreement without filing through the court, you will owe back support. Verbal agreement or not.
Someone asked if you had made plans since you'd be paying CS now. You said you had. Guess not.
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Nicole
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 01/25/05
Posts: 1762
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The CO state: It is futher ordered, adjudged, and decreed by the court that the presumed correct child cupport amount as calculated is $[censored] for one child and $[censored] for two children; and, that after consideration of all relevant factors pursuant to Section [censored].[censored].X and Rule XX.XX, is rebutted as being unjust or inappropriate; and that neither party should pay support to the other parent as support for the minor children.
I guess I meant we are prepared to pay support if she filed. That we fully expect to.
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