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elliesmom
Carpal \'Tunnel

Reged: 11/07/05
Posts: 8835

Re: Help me out here

[Re: annieo]
#785210 - 05/24/12 05:18 PM

I stole it from Oprah, LOL.

I try to remember it all the time. Because its not about them - its about letting go. And when you look at being unable to forgive as being unable to let go of the hope the past can magically change itself, it seems a little more tenable to me I guess.

--------------------
Forgiveness is...letting go of the hope that the past can be changed.

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finz
Carpal \'Tunnel

Reged: 06/17/08
Posts: 6462

Re: Help me out here

[Re: Char9]
#785225 - 05/24/12 07:08 PM

[quote] Like I told the therapist, there is a part of me who gets a sadistic pleasure hearing how poorly she behaves, which turns into guilt and self loathing for myself for even thinking that way. Picking at her scab will not help, nor will it help me. I think I will just keep it at being civil at the kids events, and drop the whole meeting thing. [/quote]

******************************************

This is part of the reason I am on "team DON'T meet with bm at this time"

Your reaction to the anecdote from your dh about the clothing was to 'hear' that bm wants something from her kids when she gives something.

You made light of the significant issue that those comments came from SD......a SD who is too self involved/poor planner/gossiping to shift the blame. She whined about wanting to go on this trip WITH kids, wanting your dh to help finance the trip, AND she couldn't even get her crap together to make sure that her child had appropriate semi dressy clothing.

Until you can ignore all the crap or learn to question everyone's motives, I would want to avoid the whole lot of them as much as possible.

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