gr8Dad
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/07/04
Posts: 30386
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Spoken like a TRUE "Never been an NCP, how hard can it be" person. You have ZERO idea what a court will do to an NCP, and the advice we are iving is CORRECT, while the advice YOU are suggesting is NOT. Whine, moan, complain, use anecdotes, whatever, its still bad advice you are giving.
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Why give a "senior" discount, they have had plenty of time to raise the money...
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Reilly
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/05/05
Posts: 3376
Loc: right here ----->
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[quote]. He needs to help support the children he created - physically, financially and emotionally. [/quote]
And I completely agree with that...but making the jump that they've made a molestation accusation against one of their own children for the sole purpose of "getting the children out of their lives" is a bit of a jump, isn't it?
I just don't find it logical...stranger things have happened, yes..but I just can't imagine just up and accusing one of my husbands children of molestation unless I had some pretty substantial evidence...no one, not you, me or anyone, should take that lightly...
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Ever notice how 'What the hell' is always the right answer?~Marilyn Monroe
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SRS
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 11/05/10
Posts: 2161
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Logical? Not at all.
Stranger things have happened however.
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SRS
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 11/05/10
Posts: 2161
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gr8, I am not the only one who gave that advice. They moved away, aren't supporting their children, don't have a LD parenting plan in place.....said the attorney told them to send the child to his Mom during a BB game to tell her he didn't want to play. Just totally weird stuff.
Honestly, I hope they don't rely on this place for their divorce advice soley. All most have to offer are antecdotes about their own lives. Including you.
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gr8Dad
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/07/04
Posts: 30386
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"They moved away"
We get that, they had to for job reasons. Sorry you don't LIKE it, but it happens.
"aren't supporting their children"
They are following the court order.
"don't have a LD parenting plan in place"
They PROPOSED a number of plans, ALL were refused by BM. Well, when one party offers a number of things, and you continually say NO, you have a responsibility to offer something in return. BM wants COMPLETE control of the parenting plan, then she needs to come up with one.
"said the attorney told them to send the child to his Mom during a BB game to tell her he didn't want to play"
So? If the kid doesn't want to play, telling Mom he doesn't want to play makes sense.
"All most have to offer are antecdotes about their own lives. Including you."
And YOU. We get it, you don't like step parents, especially step moms, that is CLEAR in your posts, but to call her a liar with NO evidence is WRONG.
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Why give a "senior" discount, they have had plenty of time to raise the money...
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Cassie23
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 10/07/05
Posts: 14714
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I think some people are under the impression that Nicole and H wouldn't want to pay the increased CS. Nicole has said over and over they EXPECT the increase and they have NO issue with it. Not seeing the children at all, in some states, could cause them to pay MORE CS--- if in fact Nicole was using the molestation charge to get out of seeing the children.
We also were told not pay CS until an order was in place. It didn't matter- it would be considered a "gift" if it was NOT court order. The CS order was backdated to the day it was purposed and the CP got all that was owed.
In this scenario seems like the NCP is damned if they do and damned if they don't. The NCP cannot just make up a parenting plan, they will have to go to court and have the judge decide if the parents cannot come to an agreement. And guess what? The BM refuses to accept the LD parenting plan offered and will not produced one of her own. Seems like it is the NCP who is being uncooperative.
As for the molestation there will have to be an investigation and counseling. Until then everything is raw and nothing may make sense to the OP and her family. Seems like Nicole is taking logical and loving steps to do the right thing. I would hope we could all be supportive of her and her family as they try to work through it.
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gr8Dad
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/07/04
Posts: 30386
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Bottom line, SRS wouldn't piss on a step mom if she was on FIRE, and she shows that again and again.
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Why give a "senior" discount, they have had plenty of time to raise the money...
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elliesmom
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 11/07/05
Posts: 8835
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That and I think some of the facts were confused there. No one advocated that Nicole start throwing money at BM. Personally *I* would have sent her a settlement offer that INCLUDED CS and a nice visitation order for myself - reminding her if she signed it she could start getting CS TODAY. EVerybody wins. They were not negotiating well, but IMO that came from simply not thinking through the process. Of course all of that is moot at this point, since I have no idea what actually transpired. I mean - if my teenage stepson had intercourse with my little girl - he would never set foot in my house again. If say, my 10 yo stepson was touching my child inappropriately; I might be persuaded after some counseling to have him back in my home when I could supervise him; particularly if we were able to get to the bottom of WHY it happened. We have no idea what happened and supposition is all we can do.
I do think it is a complete waste of time to start supposing people are lying. Regardless of what went on with JL. We did nothing to "help" her do anything bad. If anything most people here advised her against her chosen course of action.
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Forgiveness is...letting go of the hope that the past can be changed.
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SRS
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 11/05/10
Posts: 2161
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EM - you are right. No one is advocating anything harmful.
I do think EVERYONE should support their kids - NCP or CP - to the best of their ability.
Also, I've seen people on this board being treated so meanly by a poster IRL. It is hard to not be jaded to posters in similar situations.
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gr8Dad
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/07/04
Posts: 30386
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I heard a guy got robbed in my town, so if anyone walks up to me, I will assume they are robbing me and shoot them, okay? If not, why should that be any different than what YOU are porposing, that because OTHER posters have treated OTHER people badly, THIS poster must be lying.
Its a load of CRAP, you know, I know it, and the rest of the regulars on this BOARD know it. You hate step parents, step moms especially, and NEVER miss a chance to slam one.
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Why give a "senior" discount, they have had plenty of time to raise the money...
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