blabbity
recently joined
Reged: 05/31/12
Posts: 10
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My boyfriend is the noncustodial parent and has standard visitation with his kids... two weekends a month and every wednesday evening. His ex wife lives in Town A, but recently married a man that has a home in Town B, 100 miles away. The kids' main residence is in Town A, that's the residence in the divorce paperwork, where they go to school, etc. They ocassionally visit the new stepdad's house in Town B on mom's weekends. Mom never informed my boyfriend of her new husband's address in Town B. My boyfriend has asked for it, but was told that it's none of his business.
Last night was my boyfriend's usual wednesday night visit with his kids. He got to the house in Town A at 5, no one was home. He texted Mom to see where they were. Mom informed him that they were in Town B, and texted him the address finally. Mom is now insisting that my boyfriend has to drive 100 miles each way to exercise his visitation. She gave him no formal notice of a move... because they haven't offically moved, she says they are living in both homes. He told her she was denying him visitation, she told him to kiss her butt. He called the police and they came by, so he has solid documentation, in addition to her texts, that she didn't make the children available for the visit.
So, obviously he's gotten her on one count of custodial interference. She removed the children away from their custodial home with no notice, and made it impossible for him to see them last night. But what about the claim that both of the residences are legal residences and she can make him drive all that way.
He's scoured the state code to see if there is a definition of "custodial home" but couldn't find any clarification on what happens when the custodial parent is claiming two homes. In the meantime, he's adding this incident to a contempt of court motion he's making through his attorney for other decree violations she's made.
Has anyone else come across this before?
Thanks!
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ssmom79
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/27/07
Posts: 7784
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No matter the legal residence, she has an obligation to tell him where the children will reside and she may find herself being told to make the drive to her OTHER home for the drop off or to do all the driving. I doubt a judge would accept her two homes as reason to force him to make the drive. If the children are residing 100 miles away, then your boyfriend should file the paperwork to address visitation and this new residence. I doubt he will be able to keep her in the old residence, but a court may order her to do the transporting. Typically the courts order the moving party to pay for transportation or do the transportation.
Maybe in the future you can work out a drop off and pick up schedule.
How does your boyfriend feel about the drive or the potential loss of time with the child? Is he willing to pay for the fees involved to challenge that, it can be very expensive.
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blabbity
recently joined
Reged: 05/31/12
Posts: 10
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ssmom, thanks for your response.
He is more than willing to fight this and has papers in with his attorney as we speak.
She's not claiming that they will no longer live in the old residence, but rather that they will now be shuttling back and forth between both. It's bogus either way, since she gave him no notice. I do agree that mom should be doing the extra driving since she is the one that caused the increase in driving time.
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ssmom79
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/27/07
Posts: 7784
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She can have as many residences as she chooses, however, if she chooses to be at the farther home it will impede on his visitation and should be addressed ASAP.
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elliesmom
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 11/07/05
Posts: 8835
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She can live wherever she likes so long as her move does not impede the father from exercising his visits. Having to drive 100 miles is certainly an impediment.
I would tell her that he will pick them up at their residence in his town, period. If she pushes it he can file to modify the decree to state she is responsible for transporting the kids to him (this is what I would ASK for). At a minimum that he drive no further than the distance to her house to meet her (a more likely outcome, but you don't get what you don't ask for. Aim high in family court).
--------------------
Forgiveness is...letting go of the hope that the past can be changed.
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finz
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/17/08
Posts: 6462
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I don't have experience with this, but couldn't it be specified in a co that drop offs/pick ups MUST be at certain locations (ie her house in town A or his in town B) ?
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Buckeye
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 12/08/05
Posts: 7857
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My SIL had the same problem with BM of his kids. She moved but didn't tell him for 8 weeks. He had police reports done and finally, she notified the courts.
The court decided that she was to bring the kids to him so that he wasn't wasting his time and gas with her saying he couldn't have the kids and he was to return them. After about 5-6 months, she decided to move back here.
Then, the denials started here. It took 3 court sessions and her actually abandoning the kids before he got full custody.
It took almost 4 years but SIL got what he wanted. Just keep calling the police and taking her back to court. The courts seem to be getting more harsh on this issue now.
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blabbity
recently joined
Reged: 05/31/12
Posts: 10
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Thanks for all the responses. He's filed paperwork and has a court date for the end of the month for custodial interference. He's asking for attorneys fees as well.
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