ssmom79
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/27/07
Posts: 7783
|
|
Step parenting is the hardest job and the most challenging fun I've ever had. Would not change it for the world. It is not workable for everyone. You have to be willing to give, willing to love, and willing to risk a lot for a chance. A chance to love and a chance to be loved.
|
SweetLight
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 01/07/10
Posts: 2003
|
|
And then it still has a slim chance of working out. :-)
|
Gecko
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/01/04
Posts: 19802
Loc: Third rock from the sun
|
|
I hate when parents pull the "do as I say, not as I do".
---> Depends on what it is. Just because I have a glass a wine with dinner doesn't mean that I can't tell my kids that they can't have one. On the other hand, it would be pretty hypocritical to tell my kids that they can't smoke weed as I light up a bowl. I didn't have a problem with telling my kids that they weren't allowed to have opposite sex guests stay the night, even though I'm 'living' with my boyfriend. The difference is that I'm an adult and they aren't. When they turn 18 and start paying rent, then they will have the freedom to make those adult decisions.
--------------------
If you air your dirty linen in public, expect people to comment on the skid marks!
|
finz
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/17/08
Posts: 6453
|
|
[quote]
In my case, Dad was lazy and didn't parent.
He pushed off maid, nanny, cook, and parent on to me. Plus, I was the primary breadwinner.
If a kid is failing out of school and has issues with truancy....the birth parent needs to step up and not expect the step to take care of it because they are too busy.
Dad needed to get his rear to school to help his children.
Dad wouldn't back me up with I said guys couldn't spend the night in their rooms.
Dad wouldn't back me up when I asked for them both to be home at night with regular curfews when they were 13 and 15.
Dad wouldn't back me up when I asked for the girls to pick up poo from the floor when their dog had accidents.
Dad wouldn't back me up when I asked the girls to at least pick up the house before I got home from work to lighten my load a bit.
Dad did want me to pay for clothing and extras for the girls however.
He expected the older girl to be able to use my car without asking and for me to add her to my insurance.
Dad expected them to be able to use my cell phone without asking.
He was a lazy person in general which is why things didn't work out for us.
BTW, Dad was a grandparent well before either girl graduated school. One girl is a stripper and the other lives off welfare with her kids
[/quote]
*******************************************
If you met when the girls were 13 and 15 and started to learn what they were all like, I'm not sure why you were still with him when the oldest was driving.
|
finz
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/17/08
Posts: 6453
|
|
[quote]We weren't maried. Never said we were. We had the rings, flowers ordered, invitations sent, dress waiting, etc. I cancelled the wedding 2 weeks before we were to be married.
This was at least 12 years ago, btw. [/quote]
***************************************
Ohhh.....this was a previous relationship, before your ex/kid's dad ?
|
SRS
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 11/05/10
Posts: 2161
|
|
Yes, it was - several years before.
A 13 year old having her 17 year old boyfriend over to spend the night in my home will not happen. But, hey, if people here are fine with that. Cool for them. She was preggers before she LEFT high school. She is now a stripper to support her KIDS. But, hey, what do I know.
A 15 year old stealing my car and driving without her license will not happen. One of the times she stole Dad's car, she got caught by the police driving without a license. This one also became a mother before she left high school. Lives on welfare with her kids. But, hey, what do I know. (16 was the legal driving age here, btw, not 15)
Those poor girls. They needed their Dad to parent them and not pass off parenting to his fiance.
But, hey, what do I know. You all talked about the golden uterus syndrome. Some Birth Fathers apparently have golden sperm and can relinquish raising their kids to their girlfriend. It's all good. lol.
|
finz
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/17/08
Posts: 6453
|
|
"A 13 year old having her 17 year old boyfriend over to spend the night in my home will not happen. But, hey, if people here are fine with that. Cool for them."
>>Where did anyone here say they were okay with that ?
"She was preggers before she LEFT high school. She is now a stripper to support her KIDS. But, hey, what do I know."
>> I don't know, but apparently it wasn't knowing enough not to shack up with this dude.
"A 15 year old stealing my car and driving without her license will not happen. One of the times she stole Dad's car, she got caught by the police driving without a license. But, hey, what do I know."
>> Apparently, not enough to dump the dude after you heard she took dad's car.
|
SRS
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 11/05/10
Posts: 2161
|
|
Wow. Critical much without fact finding - something I think I was criticized for earlier. This stuff happened during the 3 months after my home sold and we were living together. Waiting for the wedding date. It was either that or live in a hotel.
I moved out and broke things off after this stuff happened and he didn't discipline them. He didn't make them respect my property or even his for that matter. Lazy parenting.
Good thing I found out before the marriage and not after. Don't cha think?
|
finz
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/17/08
Posts: 6453
|
|
So....you shacked up with him for 3 months......you weren't actually a step parent or anything close to that during that time then. Don't cha think ?
"It was either that or live in a hotel."
Thanks for confirming that you HAD another option, you just CHOSE to live like that.
That's not a commentary on not having the 'right' to post on this thread or in this forum because you weren't/aren't a step parent. It is a commentary on your misrepresentation of the relationship in your earlier posts in this thread.
|
SRS
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 11/05/10
Posts: 2161
|
|
nah...... you can have your opinion on that. But, when someone puts their child rearing responsibilities on you, then, you become the steppie.
At least that's what gr8 and most others here say about the line of women my ex has involved with our children. He lives with them, then they take on the role of step parent.
But, for some reason there is a witch hunt lately around here.
It's all good.
|
Previous
Index
Next
Threaded
[Re: 
Edit
Reply
Quote
