gr8Dad
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/07/04
Posts: 30199
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"I'm not so sure I would feel any differently than CJ feels after all these years. Who would?"
Actually, MOST of us give up the hate after a few years.
"And what exactly is the harm in a judge hearing from a child his age?"
The child has been brain washed by c_jane.
"I cannot imagine the number of threads some would start here over the years, in the same situation CJ is in."
Yep, and EVERY SINGLE ONE of them state that you must have a REASON, and that the NUMBER ONE< RULE is that you DO NOT involve the children in the fight.
"We’ve had a little taste with Cassie’s situation, and she should go for it. But CJane should not?"
Every case is different, and the FACTS of every case is different. My ex is an abusive person, so she should not have custody. Does that mean that YOU should not have custody as well? Of course not.
"Simply because people want to make it about themselves and some witch hunt here, without knowing all the facts."
The FACT is that she claimed to have 50/50 custody, she LIED about it, and when confronted, she didn't respond with she was EMBARRASSED, she was SCARED, she was confused, NOPE, she stated she wanted to "play" with us. Not sure about YOU, but I don't like being PLAYED with when it comes to advice and custody situations.
"I wish CJ (& her son) the best of luck!"
I think your wish for BOTH of them to be lucky with their endevours is mutually exclusive. If the CHILD is lucky, c_jane will NOT win, and if c_jane is lucky and wins, I fear for the child.
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Why give a "senior" discount, they have had plenty of time to raise the money...
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ssmom79
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/27/07
Posts: 7784
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IMO Cassie and CJ's situation are pretty different. Can you share how you think they are similar?
"My impression is that her ex is no prize, but I don't know much about his actual relationship with his son. All I do know is HATE isn't a good environment for a child and CJ seems to have a lot of that."
^^ ditto that ^^
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elliesmom
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 11/07/05
Posts: 8835
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I am going to have to agree with gr8dad on the hate; it is unusual this long post divorce IMO.
DH was completely financially hosed in his divorce after she cheated and got knocked up, paid a hefty amount of money to her to raise his children poorly, had her forcing her new husband on them as "dad," allowed new husband to be abusive to both of his kids and so on. I would say he stopped with the silly derogative names and anger about 2 years post divorce. He was going back to court and it was time to swallow that and be the voice of reason. Although - his moving on may have something to do with our marriage. Or vice versa. One of the things that impressed me about him once we got into our relationship was how not spiteful he was towards her in spite of how she treated him. He was no pushover, but he generally never let his irritation with her last longer than the phone call. To my knowledge c_jane has not found someone yet.
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Forgiveness is...letting go of the hope that the past can be changed.
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c_jane
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 04/06/07
Posts: 1754
Loc: In the Great State of Texas
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[quote] To my knowledge c_jane has not found someone yet. [/quote]
I have no DESIRE to be involved with another person who wants to: control my life/house/free time/$$, help me 'raise' my son, wants me to cook for them, wants me to keep the house clean to their standards, get their nose out of joint when I want to spend time with MY friends/family, etc., doesn't understand that I need 9 hours of UNINTERRUPTED sleep a night, summers are MY time off so no I DON'T want to babysit YOUR kids/grand kids. Etc., etc.
Happily single 15 years & loving' it.
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John Constantine: God's a kid with an ant farm.... He's not planning anything.
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elliesmom
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 11/07/05
Posts: 8835
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So I would say the right person would not do those things and you haven't found him yet. I don't believe in settling for less than what you want. My mother remarried a man who had never married (ergo no baggage) in their 40s. He had no interest in raising us. They now travel with their dogs, she does her stuff, he has his stuff, and are perfectly happy.
Though she did turn him down several times before she agreed to go out with him, because she was in her "done with men" phase. But it all worked out.
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Forgiveness is...letting go of the hope that the past can be changed.
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gr8Dad
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/07/04
Posts: 30199
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Shame that kid got in the way, huh? Nine hours a night, LMAO, must have been REAL pleasant raising a baby with you, LMAO.
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Why give a "senior" discount, they have had plenty of time to raise the money...
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SRS
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 11/05/10
Posts: 2161
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Not everyone needs a partner in order to feel complete. Some people enjoy their lives without feeling like they have to mate up like animals on Noah's ark.
Why should it matter to anyone else? Why should anyone else care?
But, whatever CJ says - she's the villan.
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spinnerdegrassi
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 08/20/06
Posts: 7952
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Look at how she wrote her response though. She's completely negative, and only finds problems in having a partner, which makes her by default, a bad partner for someone anyways since she sees being in a relationship a burden. The reality is that if you have good partner, it outweighs the best possible scenario's in being single. She's content being single not because it's the best option, but because she's so negative, that she would never thrive in a relationship based on being so selfish.
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