GaugesMomma1209
recently joined
Reged: 06/18/12
Posts: 2
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Wow. Where to start.
I was 14 when I met my ex husband. We fell in love in High School, but like most high school relationships... we ended on pretty bad terms. I hadn't seen him in about two years, when I decided I missed him, and found him again. We started dating, and 9 months later, we were married. We got married 3 days after I turned 18. 9 months after that, I gave birth to our amazing little boy. When our son was just over a year old, him and I had a huge falling out. We separated, and eventually got the divorce. We both went through a serious relationship that had ended... and have recently been finding the same love we shared... The other night, our son was extremely sick. We gave him a bath together, put him to bed together, and then sat on the couch and talked for a long time. Now, his parents and entire family hate me... they always have... to the point where they don't even want me dropping my son off. But the ex and I are starting to fall for each other again. We have been talking about the possibility of having our family together again. I miss him. I have never stopped loving the man. and I never will. We are taking things slowly, and getting to know each other again, but it feels like something is telling me that we are meant to be together. I love him. and he loves me. I don't see what the problem is. Our divorce was caused by a lot of reasons. Neither of us was old enough or mature enough to be married, and I understand that now. But I miss my husband.
I guess I am wondering if this is a good thing, or if I should avoid this all together...
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GaugesMomma1209
recently joined
Reged: 06/18/12
Posts: 2
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Really? No one has any advise for me?
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finz
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/17/08
Posts: 6481
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As you can CLEARLY see, this forum is not posted to every day. Getting impatient because you didn't get advice within a few hours often doesn't inspire others to write to you.
Have you had other significant relationships ? My caution to you would be that I think it's easy to romantacize your first love and convince yourself he MUST be the right and only love.....if you haven't had other serious relationships. Sometimes other relationships help you see that you might have more been 'hoping' something would work, than being in it because it does work.
When you are thinking of him now as your 'one true love' are you also thinking of why you broke up...TWICE....before ?
Best wishes. I do think there is someone for everyone out there. I think you have to catch the right person at the right time. Perhaps you both had some growing up to do and if it's really done, maybe this is the right person at the right time. Just make sure you are doing this for the right reasons and not romanticizing your first love, husband, and baby daddy.
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JoJoMan
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Reged: 07/14/12
Posts: 7
Loc: Houston, TX
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Who knows? It's romantic for sure but I spent several miserable years out of the romantic notion that we would eventually grow. One thing I’m learning today is to love without expecting anything, and I mean Anything back. I try to do that with her today and our friendship is growing. I value her as that friend very much. My marriage failed for many reasons but we are both much healthier now. I don't know if we will ever fall in love with each other again but today, I do get something out of just being a part of her life. It helps that we have a son together who we both really adore. I do love her still too. I am moving on but trying to also be willing to grow in my relationship with my ex-wife. That, in itself, feels good without expecting it to become anything more than it is today.
We didn’t communicate, didn’t resolve conflict and never dealt with a ton of baggage. If we do someday clean up the house so to speak, we may have a chance but today, I have to let her go and have hope that there is someone special for me out there. If it happens to be her, I will be willing but won’t make the same mistakes again – at least not with her. Some things are unacceptable. Abandoning your spouse in a cloud of apathy is one of those. I won’t live with that again. That is a boundary I have now. When we were together, one boundary fell after another until finally, my spirit was a ghost of its former self.
Over all, I do trust in God that what he wants to happen, will as long as I am unselfish and honest.
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