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Onedayatatime
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Reged: 03/28/12
Posts: 1
Looking for advice on what to expect
      #787191 - 06/21/12 09:04 PM

I am looking for advice. I have been going through a divorce for about a year now, and currently paying STBX significant Maintenance. He has a failed business with a huge amount of debt, and although it is in his name we are in a community property state. We have consulted with bankruptcy attorneys, and STBX will qualify for Chapter 7, while I do not based on my income. Will I end up with all his business related debt? If so, should I make the case to not have to divide my retirement and pay him when I will likely be stuck with that? I will have primary placement of the children as well, so there is a real question of fairness regarding me having to pay him. I am not expecting, nor do I desire any money from him. Anybody been through a similar situation that can advise?

BTW, he is currently unemployed, and does not seem to be in much of a rush to find a job . . .


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Renny
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Re: Looking for advice on what to expect [Re: Onedayatatime]
      #787195 - 06/21/12 09:59 PM

Whether you wind up with the business debt and how the retirement will be split will depend on your divorce settlement agreement and how it's interpreted in the bankruptcy proceedings. You will need both a bankruptcy attorney and a competent ivorce lawyer to handle this case. Good luck.

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yregna
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Reged: 07/25/06
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Loc: Oregon
Re: Looking for advice on what to expect [Re: Onedayatatime]
      #787209 - 06/22/12 12:13 PM

He worked like a dog and "gave you the best years of his life "...

Why shouldn't you pay him ? If you were a man, the only question would be HOW MUCH do you OWE him...Why do you think
ONLY women should be allowed to exit a marriage and NOT PAY ???

--------------------
"Anything free is worth what you pay for it..."
"Climate is what we expect, weather is what we get"


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hanzblinx
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Re: Looking for advice on what to expect [Re: yregna]
      #787336 - 06/25/12 11:24 AM

Agreed, he did give you the best years of his life. He probably has stretch marks now, nobody will ever want him again. He is entitled to 50% of your future income as alimony and if you don't pay for life, expect a very cold prison cell. I cant believe he folded your socks all those years, and you think you can just walk away giving him half? Not so, alimony is there for a purpose.

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yregna
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Reged: 07/25/06
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Re: Looking for advice on what to expect [Re: hanzblinx]
      #787424 - 06/26/12 11:10 PM

Still waiting for all the women on this board to respond, but all I hear is crickets....
C'mon ladies, explain to this wealthy woman why you can't just walk away from a marriage when you are a man, but of course for women it should be different ?

Gender bias anyone ??

--------------------
"Anything free is worth what you pay for it..."
"Climate is what we expect, weather is what we get"


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finz
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Reged: 06/17/08
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Re: Looking for advice on what to expect [Re: yregna]
      #787430 - 06/27/12 02:43 AM

Get his income imputed at what he could be making (minimum wage at the minimum), split the debt and assets as should be done in any marriage.

The fact that you hope to hae primary placement of the children shouldn't make a difference in what he may have coming in spousal support. It will make a difference in the child support that he could be ordered to pay. In some states, with 50/50 parentling time, even if you are designated as CP, you could also end up paying him CS.

He might be figuring as he is unemployed, he could be a full time caregiver for the kids....are you SURE he's behind the idea of you having primary placement ?


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yregna
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Re: Looking for advice on what to expect [Re: finz]
      #787568 - 06/29/12 10:58 AM

NO WAY SHE SHOULD GET CUSTODY ? Hasn't he been taking care of the kids all this time, now you are going to wrench them away from the PARENT CLOSEST TO THEM ?
WTF ?? I thought it was all about the welfare of the kids ? Isn't that what we hear over and over and over ???
Finz, can you take your eyes off the $$ for one second ?

Although at least you had the courage to even reply, all the other "ladies" on this board are strangely silent.

--------------------
"Anything free is worth what you pay for it..."
"Climate is what we expect, weather is what we get"


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javajunkiee
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Reged: 06/01/08
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Re: Looking for advice on what to expect [Re: yregna]
      #787569 - 06/29/12 01:25 PM

Bite me. I'm out earning the money I use to help support my family and don't always have the time or desire to respond to your juvenile prodding on YOUR time schedule.

With that said....

OP, your financial settlement in regards to the debts and your retirement are whatever the two of you can negotiate and agree on. If the two of you can't agree you'll make the lawyers rich and the judge may decide for you.

Since you, OP, didn't really ask anything else, further response would only address the usual rantings of the Boys Club and not change their mind about a damn thing, so it's pointless. I'm anti alimony for either gender when the recipient is capable of working and supporting themselves.

--------------------
Marriage doesn't come with a money-back guarantee.


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english7
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Re: Looking for advice on what to expect [Re: javajunkiee]
      #787586 - 06/29/12 08:49 PM

"I'm anti alimony for either gender when the recipient is capable of working and supporting themselves."

What do you think should be done if one or the other gender can't secure employment?


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finz
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Reged: 06/17/08
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Re: Looking for advice on what to expect [Re: yregna]
      #787587 - 06/29/12 08:51 PM

[quote]NO WAY SHE SHOULD GET CUSTODY ? Hasn't he been taking care of the kids all this time, now you are going to wrench them away from the PARENT CLOSEST TO THEM ?
WTF ?? I thought it was all about the welfare of the kids ? Isn't that what we hear over and over and over ???
Finz, can you take your eyes off the $$ for one second ?

Although at least you had the courage to even reply, all the other "ladies" on this board are strangely silent. [/quote]

****************************************


The OP didn't mention that there was ANY disagreement about custody and said, "I will have primary placement of the children as well"

That would imply SHE already has custody, so SURELY you aren't suggesting to "wrench them away from the PARENT CLOSEST TO THEM " ?

I didn't mention wrenching them away from ANYONE.

Sounds like YOU need some work on reading comprehension. While you are at it, stop making up things and saying that I said them.


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