CaraMomOf2
recently joined
Reged: 07/01/12
Posts: 2
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Hello everyone. I am Cara, soon to be divorced mother of 2. I am currently about 6 months pregnant with baby #2, I also have a 2 year old. My husband has very recently told me he is no longer "in love" with me, and has been feeling this way since our son was born. he claims he still loves me, but that something is missing and he can not pinpoint what that is. We have been going through a lot lately, financially, emotionally, etc. I love him to death and I don't want to lose him, but he feels that at this point even if we tried to work things out, he doesn't believe that the feelings will come back. He has agreed to marriage counseling, but I am not even sure it will help. Our insurance only pays for 5 sessions anyway. I am scared to be alone and have no idea how I will make it through this tough time especially while I am pregnant. I have very few friends, and my parents and I are not close at all, I don't know what to do. I would love some friendly advice. Thank you.
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bbmiche
recently joined
Reged: 01/23/09
Posts: 5
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Aright Cara, if I were you, I would go to marriage counseling with him. But in the meantime, try not to seem so needy and clingy. Men seem to get less interested when we try to make them stay with us. It only makes the situation worse and becomes a crutch that does not allow him to do what he needs to do to work on the marriage. I just have a few questions - Did you work outside the home before you had your first child? What work did you do and can you make arrangements for your children's care if it becomes necessary to go back to work for your kids' sake? In the meantime, extend yourself more in social settings to make friends or reconnect with old friends. Perhaps go to the park with your older child and talk with the other young mothers there. These are the ones you have something in common with. You need to stop making your husband your only social outlet so much that he is solely responsible for your happiness. I am sorry that I come across as harsh, but these are the lessons I learned the hard way. You cannot make your husband act right towards you, it is something that he has to want to do. You are only responsible for your behavior and noone else's. So while you are at it either way, if he stays or if he goes, you will be in a better place if you have more of a support system from friends and family and even a career if that is doable. I do sypathize with you and your situation, because love is not supposed to be so fickle. It is supposed to be true and solid, and unwavering. Anyway, I am here for you even if you do not know me and my friendship is limited to advice or some kind words relayed over the internet. I do hope your situation improves, you deserve it.
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