Virginia84
recently joined
Reged: 07/17/12
Posts: 6
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I need some scheduling help. The ex and I are in the process of finalizing the child visitation schedule and we’ve run into an issue. Right now he has the kids every other weekend from Friday after work through Monday morning where he drops them off at either school or their appropriate daycare location. Then he has the kids Tuesday evenings for dinner till 7 pm. Right now Thursday we have alternating kids so they each get “alone time” with each parent. The issue is now that one kid weekly has to go a full week w/out seeing dad if it’s not their weekend or Thursday with him.
How can we make it so that we keep the every other weekend schedule and keep them in touch more frequently than 7 days apart for visitation?
Help and thanks!
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ssmom79
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Reged: 06/27/07
Posts: 7783
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Is there a reason you can't go 50/50? It seems like a lot of moving for the kids, Monday with Mom, Tuesday with Dad, Wednesday with Mom, Thursday one kid is with dad, then the weekend.
We had a really difficult schedule like this and moved to every other week visitation. So Mon PM from the following Mon AM they're with Mom, then they come to Dad's for the week. A lot less moving and the kids liked the stability.
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Virginia84
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Reged: 07/17/12
Posts: 6
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Ok so I have a 6 and 7 yr old (14 months apart). 7 yr old is ADHD/borderline Asperger's. We want to have "alone" time with each kid as they tend to vie for attention etc and it's best to just have alone/date time.
Right now it's Friday-Monday morning every other week and Tuesday night dinner with Dad. Thursday dinner we've been alternating kids as to have said alone time. BUT if the 7 yr old only has Tues dinner with dad and not date/alone time on Thurs, she then has to go a whole week before she sees him again if it's not her weekend with him. We were hoping to find a schedule that allows no more than 5 or so days between seeing parents.
Caveat is that dad, albeit a competent parent, is also mildly Asperger's (undiagnosed) and the eldest child doesn't do well with lack of structure and alot of change.
Ok so then is 7 days between seeing Dad such a bad thing for the kids? I don't know what to suggest to Dad for an alternative schedule.
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gr8Dad
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Reged: 06/07/04
Posts: 30195
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Okaym so use a 4334 schedule. You get 4 days one week, he gets three, the following week, you get 3 he gets four.
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Why give a "senior" discount, they have had plenty of time to raise the money...
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Virginia84
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Reged: 07/17/12
Posts: 6
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I may be blonde, but I put that on a July/Aug calendar and he ends up with every weekend with them.
Why do I have to be so confused by this? I should just stick with every other weekend and Tues dinners and a date on Thurs. All these transitions get hard on the kids and on me.
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ssmom79
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Reged: 06/27/07
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No, a 4/3 3/4 is like this:
Week 1: Monday-Thursday with Mom. Friday through Sunday with Dad.
Week 2: Monday-Thursday with Dad. Friday through Sunday with Mom.
The long break can be hard on parents and children, but every other weekend and dinner one night a week is pretty standard as a guideline.
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Virginia84
recently joined
Reged: 07/17/12
Posts: 6
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Ok, a set schedule of sorts. I got it. And I agree, as a child of divorced parents, we had every other week and one dinner per week with my dad. It sufficed.
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Virginia84
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Reged: 07/17/12
Posts: 6
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Dad's current offer is every other full weekend (Fri evening through Monday morning), Tues night Kid A, Wednesday night both kids, Thurs night Kid B. I guess I'll just go with that.
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ssmom79
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Reged: 06/27/07
Posts: 7783
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That is also a good idea, the kids get time with each of you twice a week, good bonding time.
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Eve
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Reged: 11/28/05
Posts: 112
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I would go with whatever you are happy with. If Dad lives nearby, maybe he can call you when he has extra time and just make a short, informal 10 to 20 minute visit to see the child he does not see for a week. Be sure you are VERY comfortable with not seeing your children for 6 or 7 days in a row before you sign up for that. Once you go to a week on and a week off, it will be very difficult to change.
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