edward1979
recently joined
Reged: 07/21/12
Posts: 3
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In a nutshell: My son is 13 years old and my daughter is 12, we live in Tx. Right now, his mom has primary custody. He does not want to live there for the following reasons:
1.Verbal abuse: his mother and step dad constantly ridicule him, call him a "liar" tell him that no one likes him, and say how they hope their new children are nothing like him.
2. Physical abuse: Recently the mother was angry that my son did not eat his food as fast as they wanted, she grabbed his chin to force food down his mouth and she ended up cutting his cheek (pictures on file w/ lawyer and police report made). We did file a Child Protective Service report, but they did nothing, they stated they only intervene if child is in mortal danger. The step father has smacked my son in the chest because of an argument and told my son that no one would believe him if he told people.
3. Education lacking: The mother is "homeschooling" my child. According to my son (and his sister) his mom simply gives them the books and tells them to do it on their own,she does not want to be bothered because she has two newborns and needs her rest. My son and daughter have absolutely no contact with other kids their age, they have no friends, and receive no interaction with other children.
4. Nutritional: Both kids tell me that their mother does not cook breakfast or lunch for them. They are told that if they want it they can have cereal or whatever is in the fridge. However sometimes there is not much in there. When I asked why their mom is not feeding them, they say that she is either napping or with other newborns. At dinner if the kids are still hungry their mom will tell them that an extra food is for their step father and they need to stop being selfish.
5. Other concerns: My ex is catholic and my son has decided he does not want to be (in part because of things she says). The mother has told both kids they will go to Hell if they are not Catholic. She has told them that Jews will go to Hell,and that is they come live with me they may go to Hell since I am not Catholic.
There are plenty more instances but those are the main ones. My son has kept journals for years about everything that happens at the house. He wants to live here and my daughter says she want to be where brother is at and that she would like a more normal childhood.
He is set to meet with a judge soon one on one...what should we expect? Based on everything here do we at least have a shot? My son becomes extremely depressed when he is at his mom's and this is just getting worse as he gets older.
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finz
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/17/08
Posts: 6458
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Can you get both of them to a therapist during your time with them ? I think that documentation of any depression and issues about verbal/physical abuse will have more weight in a custody battle than 'just' the parent's input.
I don't 'know' but I would think that if there was NO cereal available to them when their mom tells them to eat cereal, that that would be more important in a case than the fact that she doesn't cook them breakfast or lunch.
I would really focus on their education. I would think with home schooling that there would have to be documentation about meeting goals, that it sounds like might not be happening here. There are some home schoolers on this board who might be able to address that. If the kids are not meeting educational standards, that should help your goal of getting primary custody to address their educational needs.
Good luck
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edward1979
recently joined
Reged: 07/21/12
Posts: 3
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Thank you for the reply...in regard to therapist, we tried to send kids to counseling once, and the ex got an injunction on it stating only she has right to send kids to counselor. We did take photo evidence of cut and made a police report as well. We are very concerned about the nutrition and the education as both my wife and I are teachers and know how important social interaction with other childre n are.
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ssmom79
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Reged: 06/27/07
Posts: 7784
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Your ex has a court order stating she can take them to counseling and you cannot. Can you confirm that?
I don't think you'll get far telling a judge that the 12 and 13 year old are forced to make their breakfast and lunch, at 8 and 9 my SK's were doing that.
If you can't even take them to counseling, I would start right there and petition for permission to take them to counseling or even ask for a GAL. A 3rd party opinion of their education, nutrition, and home life would be imperative to show a court the negative effects of their current living situation.
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edward1979
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Reged: 07/21/12
Posts: 3
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No the problem with the meals is that there are plenty of times that there is no food, and she forbids the kids to use microwave or stove...so the options become limited.
And yes, she has it set up where she has to agree to whomever I take kids too....magically she never has.
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finz
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/17/08
Posts: 6458
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[quote]No the problem with the meals is that there are plenty of times that there is no food, and she forbids the kids to use microwave or stove...so the options become limited.
[/quote]
When you are in court, make sure to say that she won't let them use the microwave or stove, so they are looking for sandwich items and ceral/milk and those foods are not available.
Avoid blanket statements like "there is no food" (if you aren't sure that the cubbards are TOTALLY bare) or referencing that the ex doesn't make their breakfast and lunch for them (when kids their ages should be capable of preparing simple items IF she had the food available for them)
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finz
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/17/08
Posts: 6458
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[quote]
And yes, she has it set up where she has to agree to whomever I take kids too....magically she never has. [/quote]
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Is it in the CO that BOTH of you have ROFR ? What EXACTLY does the co say ?
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