Lostwithoutlove
recently joined
Reged: 09/03/12
Posts: 1
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I've been married over 16 years and we have 2 children, 16 and 11. A year ago I came to the end of my patience and told my husband I wanted a divorce. He had been working from 4am to 10pm, this is what he says but I have doubts, and I had begged him for the better part of a year to address our failing connection. In the meantime, I reconnected with a highschool sweetheart. And, even though we lived several hours apart, I quickly fell in love with the attention, although at the time I thought it was real love. My husband put minimal effort in once he found out. Then I found out he was still flirting with other women and what had once been frivolous chat lines became an actual encounter for him. So I asked him to move out. At this point I knew my online affair was a huge mistake but was extremely upset with his affair. He moved out and I broke off my affair. I let everything calm down before telling my husband that I loved him and had been wrong. He responded politely but nothing happened. 2 months later I found out he was with a 2nd women so I met with an attorney and had divorce papers drafted. I asked my husband where he was living so he could receive his papers. He said he didn't want to be served but would go in and sign for them. I instructed the attorney not to file until he did this as I was hoping he would say he wanted to fix the marriage. 2 months went by and he did not sign. I asked him to meet me to discuss the whole thing and he agreed. We met and when I asked him if I could cancel the divorce and if we could try to fix things he said yes. I canceled, got a refund then he told me he was in love with a girl 15 years younger than we are who is currently incarcerated for felony probation violation. I'm totally confused! Help?!?!
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finz
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/17/08
Posts: 6481
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Stop acting in the moment.......think things through BEFORE jumping into ANYTHING.
Feeling unloved in your relationship....and addressing that by starting an online affair is immature.
'Catching' your husband at the same type of activity ......and immediately throwing him out is immature.
Filing divorce papers IN REACTION to something he did, not because it is what YOU want, is immature.
Filing and hoping it will spur your husband into caring enough to fix your relationship is immature.
Canceling the divorce because of ONE meeting that you insisted on and then quickly regretting it is immature.
Stop trying to figure him out. Stop begging to get him back. Concentrate on YOU and your kids and figure out what's best for you. Work on figuring out why you react immaturely to emotional issues......and try to fix that.
Good luck.
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