cchelpme
recently joined
Reged: 09/21/12
Posts: 1
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Please help me!!!!! I have been going through a divorce for 1.5 years. He is 62 and I am 40. We have a 7 year old daughter & I have a 12 year old son from a previous marriage. We were married 6 years. Marriage was over within the first year when I realized he used me financially. He had cancer and I did what was I thought was right and got him through it and basically there after lived as roommates for 4 years. Until I filed for divorce after I couldn't take it any longer. Basically Tuesday the judge told us of his plan. Since I have had the substantial income (and he does receive a retirement check and a disability check) I am responsible for providing him permanent maintenance, pay his 20k attorney fees, give him half my 100k retirement/investment accounts, half escrow account, and 2700 on house. I make 75000 a year, owe my attorney 20k, have a 1270 mortgage, 800 private school tuition, 750 SUV lease, 30k credit card debt and did I mention I have multiple sclerosis (MS). I have not used the MS in court cause it is a very private matter and my attorney didn't think it was necessary. Ex is very capable of working, had minimal debt and had discussed with others how he is going to financially ruin me. Judge says because he is so sick?? No documents have been presented showing his clean health state. And the age difference. And since I set him in this financially established life I am responsible for maintaining it. I don't know what to do???? How am I suppose to take care of my kids. With MS my future is so unknown. And my investment accounts that I count on if I can't walk tomorrow are what I will take care of my kids with I'd being wipped out. I haven't been to work in four days. I don't know how to financially do this. My kids are going to suffer. Ruling is in one month. But he already basically told us his plan. My MS has exacerbated. What do I do????
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MinnesotaMom
member
Reged: 01/05/11
Posts: 191
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What does your attorney say?
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finz
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/17/08
Posts: 6481
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Are you saying that his cancer is now gone/in remission ? And there is nothing else wrong with him aside from being 62 ?
He is collecting disability, so in the eyes of the court, he cannot work due to his poor health....and that happened to him while you were married and you continued to support him.
A judge might not drastically change the plan even though you say your stbx now has a clean bill of health and your own health issues are becoming more of an issue. You could be screwed because your stbx has already been declared disabled and you have not/are still working. I still think it was a HUGE mistake to not let the judge be aware of the whole picture.
Sounds like the judge split your retirement/investments and gave you all the debt/legal bills..... in favor of your stbx because he can't work and you should be able to for 27+ more years. If you didn't even let the judge know that that was not an accurate picture, can't blame him for not factoring in what he couldn't possibly have known.
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