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nowannawi
recently joined

Reged: 09/24/12
Posts: 1

Visitation vs Babysitting

#791590 - 09/24/12 05:29 PM

My wife goes out a lot. As the father, I don't consider staying home with the kids "babysitting" but I have a feeling once everything is finalized, she won't change her lifestyle and I'll be asked to watch them randomly - besides visitation - so she can do what she wants. Clearly I'll want to see them as much as possible, but how do I create boundaries of respect so the situation isn't taken for granted? It seems like it will be hard to say no out of principle and not feel like a bad father. But if I don't set expectations right away I can see it becoming an issue. Thanks,

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BeckaLeigh
Carpal \'Tunnel

Reged: 06/08/05
Posts: 6875
Loc: Texas

Re: Visitation vs Babysitting

[Re: nowannawi]
#796150 - 12/12/12 11:22 AM

The easiest way to do it is keep them as much as you want to. Don't worry about giving her more time to do what she wants. It isn't a contest, it is time with your kids.

--------------------
I tried being normal once. Worst five minutes of my life.

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Anything4Love
journeyman

Reged: 10/09/11
Posts: 60
Loc: Virginia

Re: Visitation vs Babysitting

[Re: BeckaLeigh]
#799443 - 02/11/13 01:49 PM

Her asking does not obligate you to agree. Only agree as much as you want and try to remember that whether she's "taking advantage" isn't what matters - what matters is being able to spend quality time with your children. A lot of us have the opposite problem, stbx will not allow one second over and above what the court dictates, and we don't have adequate time with our children. Be grateful you are not in those shoes and agree to the extra time only when you are able and willing, and Cherish that time.

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