pablo1
recently joined
Reged: 10/04/12
Posts: 1
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We have been married 15 months. I own our residence free and clear, bought it well before meeting spouse, am only one listed on title and spouse has never contributed one penny to purchase price, association fees, renovations, or maintenance. However, I stupidly signed a pre-marriage agreement offering her half of property. There was no lawyer present or consulted when I signed but it was notarized. I now realize the marriage was a scheme on her part to get my property and money.I am not wealthy, on the contrary I live paycheck to paycheck, pay all bills, have no savings, but I do have $12,000 in debt (equity line).All this debt was accumulated paying for our wedding, honeymoon, rings, furniture, etc. I also emptied my small IRA of approximately $8,000 to pay expenses related to the marriage and household.Most of our marriage has been spent in cold silence because when she does not get her way she becomes hysterical and shuts me out. I opened a joint checking account for us, which she closed without my knowledge or permission (legal in HI but shouldn't be)
and I must sleep in the second bedroom because she says she cannot sleep or function with me using the same bedroom. She has also suggested we live in separate apts. and "visit" occasionally. She tried these things with her previous husband who also divorced her. I made it absolutely clear before our marriage that those types of arrangements are not a marriage to me and would "never" be acceptable. She understood this fully and agreed claiming she only did this previously because her ex was "abusive." Now I realize that was all a lie, he divorced her to rescue himself from an abusive gold digger and now I am in the same position. I am not a complete idiot; she was a very good actress before we were married. She is not a U.S.citizen, but has a green card and is now working and making more money than me and has more savings and no debt because I have paid all her bills and debts since the beginning. She owns her own home in her native country and has both parents and siblings there who are well off.She has a drivers license but refuses to buy a car so I drive her everywhere at great expense of time, energy, and money. Again, I own the car free and clear,and pay all gas, repairs, maintenance, etc. - she does not contribute a penny.I cannot afford a second car. She can, but wont.
She is rude, belligerant, invades my privacy, constantly searching my email, phone, mail, papers, drawers, etc. and is extremely jealous of other women even though I give no cause. I allow it all because I have nothing to hide. She, however, keeps all her finances and documents a secret. I work 60 hours a week with long commutes, bring my lunch, forego doctor and dentist visits because I cannot even afford the co-pay. I don't drink, smoke, use drugs or [censored], stay very fit (I can't afford to get sick!)and am quiet and gentle. She has proved to have an abusive temper. HERE IS MY MAIN CONCERN: KEEPING MY CONDO. My condo represents my life savings and main future security and to lose it would be devastating for me. I am in my middle 50's and it will be very hard to recover from such a loss. My spouse is in her 40's with two more college degrees than me and fluent in two more languages than me. I stupidly signed a document to share the property but with a "wife" - my spouse has been a non-participant in the marriage, contributing nearly nothing in terms of money, time, energy, or emotional support. IS THERE NOT A MINIMAL STANDARD FOR WHAT CONSTITUTES AN ACTUAL, PARTICIPATING SPOUSE? CAN ONE NOT ARGUE "BREACH OF CONTRACT" OR SOMETHING TO THAT EFFECT IF A SPOUSE HAS CLEARLY CONSPIRED TO DEFRAUD? Thank you so much to any one who has any advice.
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finz
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/17/08
Posts: 6481
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So.....she gets half your condo. Before you file for divorce, take a quick trip to her native country and stay in her house.....then ask for half of that.
It sounds to me like you may be getting overwhelming depressed because of this issue. If that turns into a disability, her high salary could be paying you spousal support FOR LIFE.
Do your homework.....but don't carry on with this charade too much longer.
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