wolvbucks
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Reged: 10/05/11
Posts: 11
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Ex contacted me with a date and time for mediation by phone, I haven't received any paper work from anywhere. I called the court and they don't have anything filed. I don't live in TN, never have and unsure on their procedures. Is there such a thing as mediation without filing in the courts? What about sending the other party information on who your suppose to call, who the mediator is, and above all, what your even mediating? Who chooses this mediator...is this a court mediator or who? Something doesn't sound right to me. Any help is appreciated?
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Renny
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Reged: 09/24/11
Posts: 479
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In general -- it varies by jurisdiction -- the court has a mediation office, sometimes called ADR for alternative dispute resolution. You should receive notice of mediation with a certificate of service by mail from that office. In general when there's court referred mediation, the parties have so many days to pick their own mediator, and if they don't, the mediation office appoints one. You say ex. The mediation is about whatever is in dispute, like contempt or modification.
Anyway, call the mediation office to be sure no mediation is scheduled.
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wolvbucks
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Reged: 10/05/11
Posts: 11
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The court never referred to mediation, the court doesn't know anything about the mediation. lol Nothing to do with the courts, they said maybe the ex is just filing through a mediator on her own? Do I have to attend that? I don't want to pay money on what I assume she wants to mediate, we aren't going to reach an agreement. Not trying to be difficult it's a small thing (braces) for a 12 year old... I want to wait until he's older. Court order says that I am suppose to keep ortho insurance on I do, but doesn't say that I have to pay for the braces. I don't have a problem with the braces, just at a later date. My insurance only pays 1 time for braces, if he needs them later it's 100% out of pocket. Step kids have braces and so ex say's it's not "fair", that's what this is about, I'm assuming.
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Renny
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Reged: 09/24/11
Posts: 479
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If your ex scheduled a private mediation you are under no obligation to attend. Playing the devils advocate, your son may need braces now and later. You are making a medical decision you are not qualified to make.
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wolvbucks
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Reged: 10/05/11
Posts: 11
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I just found out who the mediator is today and the mediation is tomorrow NOT Monday, still didn't get paper work in the mail. Opposing Atty said "it must have been lost" isn't it supposed to come certified mail? Atty also stated if I don't attend they send a letter to the court saying I refused to work it out? Is this true? I have 2 in braces now and am aware of the cost and possibility of two sets. Not playing Doctor..I've already had him looked at by the Ortho who stated "see you in a year or two"...but Mother ASKED this other ortho for the braces, DDS said not necessary now, but Mother took him to ortho anyway...that's my problem.
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Renny
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Reged: 09/24/11
Posts: 479
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If it cones to a contempt hearing, opposing counsel will make sure the judge knows you were aware of the private mediation and didn't show up or try to work it out. In the end, the contempt will be decided on the merits. But why go to all that trouble? You can discuss it and settle it at mediation.
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wolvbucks
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Reged: 10/05/11
Posts: 11
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Thanks Renny for you help. My problem is I have NO CLUE what we're even mediating. I'm guessing the braces because that's what we've disagreed on, but it could be something totally different. Neither the opposing atty nor my ex will tell me. I did get the mediation rescheduled because the mediator was even a little surprised that I didn't know what I was mediating. We might not even have to mediate if they would just tell me what it is. It's the games that I don't like. One day I hope maturity will set in and games will stop and life will move on.
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Renny
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Reged: 09/24/11
Posts: 479
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If you are representing yourself, you can write a letter to opposing counsel asking what the mediation is about and that you are always willing to entertain reasonable requests from your ex.
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IamUMP
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Reged: 02/22/12
Posts: 8
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Eeovoia
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Reged: 11/30/12
Posts: 5
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"I've already had him looked at by the Ortho who stated "see you in a year or two"...
GET A PRINTOUT OF THIS FROM THE ORTHODONTIST WHO SAID THIS REGARDING YOUR SON, WITH A DATE ON IT. DO NOT MENTION YOUR STEP CHILDREN ALREADY BEING IN BRACES - Deal with YOUR biological son's needs, as well as the evidence given to you of a projected date as to when he will NEED braces. Sometimes, before all development has occured in teens(if he still has other conditions within his oral structure still to come,as he has JUST entered puberty & his mandible & oral structures are still developing), the orthodontist will put a hold on braces. It is up to their medical judgement. Of course if your ex asks an ortho about starting braces now, that ortho will say yes - THEY GET PAID! I urge you NOT to make this about YOUR financial responsibility, but rather the MEDICAL OPINION of the orthodontist you took your biological son to.
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